What's not working?

Assuming 4 pin relay, wire:

Pin 30 to +ve battery via a fuse.
Pin 87 to the lights, and the other side of the lights to earth (or back to the battery -ve if you're worried about finding a good ground).
Pin 85 of the relay to earth (Easiest to do this via the mouting screw if the relay is on a metal wing or similar)
Pin 86 to the high beam feed on the lights or fusebox, via a dash switch if you don't want them on with high beam all the time.

What have you done different?

__________________
Jeff

1994 Defender 300TDi 110 - my toy
2004 Disco 2 TD5 - sold when we emigrated here.
2007 Disco 3 V6 SE - the wife's (So I'm told!)