Right on a relay you have two seperate sections - the activation terminals and the switching terminals - blown if I can remember the numbers - but


Signal from high beam goes to coil (activation) terminal - the opposite goes to earth.

Live from the battery goes (via fuse) to the dead side of the switch terminals - and then from the live side of the switch terminals run to the driving lamps - then from the lamps to earth

I'll do a basic sketch and post it

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'96 Disco 1 V8 - Sadly Rolled
2002 Disco II V8 - happy as larry