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Old 4th November 2008, 09:47 PM
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Advice please

You guys have read my thread about my mate Fat Baz passing away tragicaly.
I want to go and visit his parents,they are great people and always have had time for a chat.
Tried to go around after work,I just couldnt do it.Deb just brought the same subject up,she wants to go and see them tommorow.I told her I just dont think I can do it.
Anybody able to help???
After not wanting to go to work today I forced myself to do so rather than mope around the house.It wasnt much better,Baz used to work with us so work isnt a nice place either,everyboby is on a real downer.Managed to keep it together all day,till I went to visit Bazs parents,I just lost the plot again.
Andrew
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Old 4th November 2008, 09:53 PM
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Mate , It's a very tough thing to do and will take all of your power to go around and see them . But by going and seeing them you will get to release some of that pain with people you like . Or even give them a ring on the phone .... take baby steps mate . It's a very tough time and i have been there also but the pain does ease in little amounts over time . Chin up mate as you'll get through it . Ever need a chat just PM me ... anytime .
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Old 4th November 2008, 09:54 PM
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That's a tough one Andrew.

I would probably make myself visit them. You don't have to say much and they probably won't expect it. Sometimes just sitting there for a few minutes sharing the pain is comforting in itself.
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Old 4th November 2008, 09:56 PM
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It'll be like that for a few days/weeks. Things will get better as time passes.

Our household has had the same thing recently. 2 funerals in 2 weeks.
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Old 4th November 2008, 10:10 PM
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Go see 'em mate. If nothing at all is said and all you did was give them a hug or a hand shake at least they'd know your thinking of them and their child.

In times like this every little bit of support helps. If you cry or lose the plot when your with them that's not necessarily bad. It is nice for parents to know their kids are missed and were loved.

All the best,
Xav
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LandyAndy (5th November 2008)
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Old 4th November 2008, 10:13 PM
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I agree with Jamo. But I would probably call before going around.
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Old 4th November 2008, 10:23 PM
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I wouldn't call just go around and see them.If they are busy with arrangments they will let you know when to come around.I have recently lost my mum then a few weeks later we lost her mum.If it wasn't for the support of people coming around i don't know how we would of coped.Especially her work mates,We had no idea the extent she was loved until she was gone.The people that walked through the door was unbelievable.people stay away not wanting to annoy the family but when i come across it again i will go and see them,plate in hand.
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Old 4th November 2008, 10:28 PM
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Sometimes having someone sit by without having to say anything is a good thing.

Condolences
Simon
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Old 4th November 2008, 10:36 PM
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Mate, don't beat yourself up about how you feel and don't try to rush it - there's no particular way you're meant to act - just take it as it comes and in your own time.

I lost my best friend three years ago out of the blue - after a lot of apprehension, I finally visited her mum and we just hugged for ages. Very little was said, but it certainly was beneficial.
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Old 4th November 2008, 10:56 PM
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No rulebooks mate. Go and see them, you'll know what to say, or not say, when you get there. I'm sure they'll appreciate your visit.

One day at a time Andrew, things will slowly seem clearer in your mind.

Sounds to me like Baz was a lucky guy to have you as his mate!
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