You know you're from Chch when..............

[jimbo110]

You know you're from CHCH when........
1. You use the term "liquefaction" and "seismic design" in casual conversation.
2. Digging a hole and pooping in your garden is no longer weird.
3. Your mayor describes the city as munted.
4. Weaving through car size potholes on the street is no longer weird
5. Going to Wellington to escape earthquakes makes sense
6. A shower is heaven
7. You have a preference of which kind of silt you'd rather shovel, dry or wet
8. You see tanks driving around town
9. You are always noting what you are under
10. Due to frequent aftershocks during the night, you sleep like a baby-- Every 10 minutes you wake up and **** yourself;)

[It'sNotWorthComplaining!]

:( I think this type of humor is a little too soon, considering what's going on in Christchurch,. A lot of people innocently lost their lives, families are grieving, it's all too fresh

[isuzurover]

:( I think this type of humor is a little too soon, considering what's going on in Christchurch,. A lot of people innocently lost their lives, families are grieving, it's all too fresh

Before you start complaining (yet again) have a look at the OP's location ;)

[vnx205]

Before you start complaining (yet again) have a look at the OP's location ;)

Yes, jimbo110's observations are probably based on personal experience.

[It'sNotWorthComplaining!]

Before you start complaining (yet again) have a look at the OP's location ;)
Yes he's from Christchurch, I have friends in Christchurch, not all of Christchurch was devastated, He obviously did not lose anyone.
So I think it fair to make my point. and for your info my user name is It's not worth complaining... if you read it properly. The reason for it is THAT NO ONE LISTENS IN THIS WORLD, It falls on death ears., as they all seem to know better than anyone else.
SO IT IS NOT WORTH COMPLAINING! OR MAKING A COMPLAINT.
Obviously nothing has ever happened to you, you have never complained,

If you really read most peoples posts on this forum, the whine, bitch and complain about things going wrong, either with dealers, buying parts oil leaks etc etc, so the all complain in one way or another.

[Barra1]

If you really read most peoples posts on this forum, the whine, bitch and complain about things going wrong, either with dealers, buying parts oil leaks etc etc, so the all complain in one way or another.

Wrong:mad:

[It'sNotWorthComplaining!]

oh, sorry to every one, I must be too sensitive, I will keep my opinions to my self in future , I forgot that other peoples misfortunes are ROFL material it seems.

I'll try to laugh along with the rest of you, in future, has any one got any good jokes about the flood victims in Qld etc of course we must only laugh if it comes form the towns where people lost their lives.
whose going to be the first one, we need a good laugh.:(
I would have expected better from Landy owners

[rovercare]

if you read it properly. The reason for it is THAT NO ONE LISTENS IN THIS WORLD, It falls on death ears., as they all seem to know better than anyone else.
SO IT IS NOT WORTH COMPLAINING! OR MAKING A COMPLAINT.
.

Yet you still continue:(

On a lighter note, I had to cancel my travel plans to CHCH as my accomodation fell through, although I may be able to stay with a few flatmates:angel:

[MEANZ06]

On a lighter note, I had to cancel my travel plans to CHCH as my accomodation fell through, although I may be able to stay with a few flatmates:angel:

:lol2:

[THE BOOGER]

oh, sorry to every one, I must be too sensitive, I will keep my opinions to my self in future , I forgot that other peoples misfortunes are ROFL material it seems.

I'll try to laugh along with the rest of you, in future, has any one got any good jokes about the flood victims in Qld etc of course we must only laugh if it comes form the towns where people lost their lives.
whose going to be the first one, we need a good laugh.:(
I would have expected better from Landy owners

You have to remember humour is a great coping mechanism much cheaper than a therapist:) You must have known you would cop some flack with a user name like yours:D

[85 county]

You have to remember humour is a great coping mechanism

So true.

And there is a variance between aussie and kiwi humor.
just for It'sNotWorthComplaining!

You know that you are in CH CH

When aussie cops arrest aussie looters. (only happens in CH CH)

When a cop says FREEZE or ill shoot , while pointing a finger at you.

How do you tell the difference between an aussie cop and a kiwi cop? the aussie cop is the short one.

Ill think of some more shortly

[sashadidi]

:( I think this type of humor is a little too soon, considering what's going on in Christchurch,. A lot of people innocently lost their lives, families are grieving, it's all too fresh

Sorry Mate not correct for everyone , I just attended and was a pall bearer of the funeral today of my friend of 22 years today who was killed by Rocks in the earthquake who was buried after a very difficult two weeks for us all and watching both sides of a family cope with that and knowing him well I can say he would have loved that humour.
He was a great Landrover man also and used his Defender in a last act of kindness that was him all over
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10710702

[ramblingboy42]

Good on ya Jimbo, that you can laugh at yourself in the face of adversity is great instead of dooming and glooming. Humour is never too early.

[digger]

There is a bloke who gave 4wding a good name!

A terrible shame, but good to know that a bloke has showed everyone
far and wide how good a bloke he truely was when he was needed.


RIP.

The coffin and the use of the defender is a great touch by friends and family... obviously a man well loved/liked.

(PS:- SADLY SPELL CHECK MISSES SOME BITS (UNDERSTANDABLY) IN ARTICLES SUCH AS THIS BUT EDITORS ETC YOU THINK WOULD PICK IT UP -- He was driven through a guard of honour in his much loved Land Drover - made famous for the lives it saved.)

[digger]

[QUOTE=85 county;1440737]
How do you tell the difference between an aussie cop and a kiwi cop? the aussie cop is the short one.



The Aussie cop will be working at catching the looters as instructed, whilst the Kiwi cop (allegedly taller) will be dealing with his instructions, "at his traffic point" like he was told.... making all the ewes turn!! :angel:


OK sorry! (but you started it "county!!" you kiwi lads are pretty proud so I hope you can forgive me, I couldnt resist)

(I wont even contemplate putting the joke EARTHQUAKE SAFETY tips another Kiwi mate sent me (he's in Wanganui) )
EARTHQUAKE SAFETY TIPS



Earthquakes can strike without warning, and being prepared for such a disaster can mean the difference between life and death.
Here are some tips to help you and your loved ones make it through a quake:

- Those living in areas not prone to earthquakes can respond quickly to the plight of disaster victims in quake zones by complacently smirking and saying, "I told you so."

- To minimize loss and damage in a quake, try not to own things.

- Experiencing an earthquake is terrifying, but a majority of people caught in one do survive. During the tremors, try to resist the temptation to have sex with pets or houseplants.

- Practice your burrowing-out-from-under-40-tons-of-rubble skills ahead of time.

- Look out your window often. If you see a large, zig-zag-shaped crevasse moving rapidly from the horizon toward your home, step either to the right or the left.

- Do you have a treasured childhood toy? Perhaps a stuffed animal, such as a teddy bear? Well, let's see Mr. Bear help you now.

- For those who fear earthquakes, it may comfort you to know that a majority of the damage during the 1906 San Francisco earthquake did not come from the tremors themselves. Instead, it was from the raging, out-of-control fires that consumed most of the city.

- A doorway is the safest place to be during a quake. Eat, sleep and work in doorways.

- Be sure to mail your house insurance payments a full five business days before a major earthquake strikes.

- In the event of a quake, get under something heavy, such as a desk, a table or your uncle.



I remember when the earthquake hit Port Adelaide...
EARTHQUAKE ROCKS PORT ADELAIDE:

A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit in the early hours of yesterday morning, with the epicentre in Port Adelaide, SA.

The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately $30 worth of damage.

Several priceless collections of mementos from the Torana Appreciation Society and the Port Adelaide Progress Hall were damaged beyond repair.

Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.

Many locals were woken well before their welfare cheques arrived. one resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying.

My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Jerry Springer the next morning".

Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime carried on as normal.

The Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Vegemite and 70,000 bottles of Home Brew to the area to help the stricken locals.

Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, Port Power jerseys,
jewellery from Priceline and bone china from Go Lo.

HOW YOU CAN HELP

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after.

Items most needed include: baseball caps, flannelette shirts, thongs and tracksuits.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.

Required foodstuffs include, Yiros' , McDonalds, KFC, ice cream and cans of Woodstock Bourbon or Bacardi Breezers.

If you would prefer to donate money, 25c buys a biro for filling in
compensation forms; $5.00 buys chips, battered fish, crisps and fizzy drinks for a family of 9; $10.00 will pay for a packet of Winfield Blues and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

PLEASE do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population of the neighbouring areas

[sashadidi]

[QUOTE=85 county;1440737]
How do you tell the difference between an aussie cop and a kiwi cop? the aussie cop is the short one.



.. making all the ewes turn!! :angel:


Nah the Ozzie cops over here in christchurch do not make Ewes turn, they make the Ewes eyes roll the back of their heads, typical Ozzies abroad, shagging all the sheep!!!:wasntme:

[digger]

[quote=digger;1440936]
Nah the Ozzie cops over here in christchurch do not make Ewes turn, they make the Ewes eyes roll the back of their heads, typical Ozzies abroad, shagging all the sheep!!!:wasntme:

you know what they say.... women are OK but they arent as good as the real thing!!:eek::angel::angel::angel:

OK Im finished now!

[85 county]

OK sorry! (but you started it "county!!" you kiwi lads are pretty proud so I hope you can forgive me, I couldnt resist)
Fair Cop........... odviously not an SA one

all good.
the aussie cops are pulling night shifts, with the kiwi cops doing a lot of the PR pat on the back cry on my sholder stuff. neather job i would like to do. ADD to that. Many off the kiwi cops have losed friends ( 1/2 doz lost partners & family)
there is a lot of day light hours at this time of year. which always makes it harder to get a good nights sleep as well as the stress, as you would exspect. domestic strife is though the roof, the aussie cops are aquiting them selfs exceddingly well in this respect. there was a bit of disscustion before hand along the lines of only having the kiwis handle these types of instances. i think the lower stress levels in the aussie cops ( not personly involved) and the fact that there is a general fealing of thankfulenees towords the aussie cops. puts them in good steed.
Lastly the SA cops that i have had dealings with seem to be awoed to excersise more descrestion than a kiwi cop. good qualitys in this sort of sanerio

and yes SA aussie cops are shorter, i have only meet one SA cop who could stand over me. SS at Norwood. nice guy but a bit of a Rupert. Makes me write my own Dear Coroners Letters

ewes may do Ewe turn for a kiw cop. but thay just tun around and smile for an aussie cop

[Blknight.aus]

:( I think this type of humor is a little too soon, considering what's going on in Christchurch,. A lot of people innocently lost their lives, families are grieving, it's all too fresh

Why, we had jokes going round about the space shuttle before the thing hit the water...

I saw some of that list inside of 48 hours

[jimbo110]

Maybe we Cantabrians are different;)

Where else would you get someone willing to pay $60,000 for a rock that rolled through a house.

Landscape Rocks for Sale in ChCh for sale - TradeMe.co.nz - New Zealand (http://www.trademe.co.nz/Home-living/Outdoor-garden-conservatory/Landscaping-materials/Stones-rocks/auction-357989041.htm)

The story http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10710713

Have a read of the auction questions and answers, you will p*** your self.

If we don't laugh we will cry, we are sick to death of crying...........:(

[RobHay]

oh, sorry to every one, I must be too sensitive, I will keep my opinions to my self in future



:banana::arms::clap2::BigThumb:

[It'sNotWorthComplaining!]

:banana::arms::clap2::BigThumb:
I pity you:wacko:

[jimbo110]

Come on guys, play nice. I don't want to have to bang your heads together...................:wasntme:

[It'sNotWorthComplaining!]

Come on guys, play nice. I don't want to have to bang your heads together...................:wasntme:
to hell with them, I am canceling my subcription, it seems some here are not worth even talking too. Might as well as if an opinion differs from the certain mob on here they take the **** out of people.
This is a one sided forum, if you disagree they gang up.
not the forum it used to be, it's gone down hill because of a minority. To hell with it.
Can't seem to find the cancel subscription button.
the the rat pac have it to themselves.
And as I always say it's not worth complaining, because NO ONE ****IN LISTENS - theythink they all know better.

[It'sNotWorthComplaining!]

MODS CANCEL MY ACCOUNT, I DO NOT WANT TO ASSOCIATED WITH THIS LOT.

[abaddonxi]

<snip>
A doorway is the safest place to be during a quake. Eat, sleep and work in doorways.

<snippety>

What do you do for a smoko?

Are there special smoking laws for Christchurch or can you still smoke in doors?:p

[85 county]

What do you do for a smoko?

Are there special smoking laws for Christchurch or can you still smoke in doors?:p

it was hammerd in to me, smallest room in the house is best. at least you would have water

[windsock]

I know of a couple of mates that departed NZ permanently for Australia (that are still there now) after the Edgecumbe earthquake of '87 (http://www.geonet.org.nz/earthquake/historic-earthquakes/top-nz/quake-10.html). I wonder how many of the 65,000 that've left Christchurch of late are planning a similar move?

The post above about Port Adelaide was funny as it reminded me of my bogan lifestyle back then in Edgecumbe and surrounds. I was actually lined up in a cue at the Post Office along with 20 or so others to draw my dole cheque when the first shock of three hit. All the 1970's building shook, windows shattered out the back, the money carts rolled across the floor behind the tellers, display stands fall over, all and sundry took flight for shelter in doorways...



...except those of us in the cue, we were not budging to give up our place in the dole cue for no-one or nothing... :D:twisted:


...then the power went out and we had to go away anyway empty handed. Looking back though, it is interesting to think about the attitude of the day was to hold ones place in the dole cue rather than save ones butt in a doorway. :lol2:

[Hymie]

There was an Aussie Doctor who was attending the convention in Christchurch interviewed on ABC radio.
He said that he was always told the safest place to be in an earthquake was in a doorway so that's where he headed.
He said it was a great place to be 'till the other 200 or so people who thought the safest place to be would be was outside ran right over the top of him.

[Hymie]

[quote=digger;1440936]
Nah the Ozzie cops over here in christchurch do not make Ewes turn, they make the Ewes eyes roll the back of their heads, typical Ozzies abroad, shagging all the sheep!!!:wasntme:


That's funny!!!

I just heard New Zealand scientists have discovered 2 new uses for sheep.


Meat and Wool!

[85 county]

[quote=sashadidi;1440940]


That's funny!!!

I just heard New Zealand scientists have discovered 2 new uses for sheep.


Meat and Wool!

LOL if Kiwi scientists have just discovered that then why have the aussies been importing the them for decades. ( if you didn’t know, most aussie sheep are a NZ development)
Now that opens the door

Notice digger has gone quiet

[sashadidi]

[quote=Hymie;1441726]

LOL if Kiwi scientists have just discovered that then why have the aussies been importing the them for decades. ( if you didn’t know, most aussie sheep are a NZ development)
Now that opens the door

Notice digger has gone quiet

Yes in times past Ozzies import them ,"use them" and then "recycle" live to the Middle East........... :wasntme: :D

[digger]

Notice digger has gone quiet [/FONT][/COLOR]

I shall not start this here.... To the jokes thread!! (sheep shagger!)

[85 county]

I shall not start this here.... To the jokes thread!! (sheep shagger!)

so thats where we will fined you then?
see your on line. no looters out your way, ops that right you exported them all to CH CH LOL

[subasurf]

MODS CANCEL MY ACCOUNT, I DO NOT WANT TO ASSOCIATED WITH THIS LOT.

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Crack up. Geez the moment things get shaky he starts to collapse under the pressure.

[LOVEMYRANGIE]

Yet you still continue:(

On a lighter note, I had to cancel my travel plans to CHCH as my accomodation fell through, although I may be able to stay with a few flatmates:angel:

ROFL :Rolling: ROFL :Rolling: ROFL :Rolling: ROFL :Rolling: ROFL :Rolling:


Sent from my backyard TeePee using smoke signals.

[sashadidi]

Looks like they saw this coming......
unbelievably accurate regarding the old buildings etc, it appears there was a fair bit of knowledge of problems beforehand......
YouTube - Christchurch 1996 Quake Doco - why buildings collapse.flv

[The ho har's]

Yes interesting:)

[jimbo110]

https://www.aulro.com/afvb/images/imported/2011/03/97.jpg

Road sign at Little River
·Geonet / ChristchurchQuakeMap is your homepage
·The rest of the country offers you a place to stay
·“Munted” and “buggered” are official technical terms
·You go 'pfffff' when Wellington has a 4.5 earthquake that's 40km deep
·You see a nice park in another city and think it would make a good evacuation point
·You sleep in one suburb, shower in another and collect water from yet another
·When you drive on the right side of the road and no one thinks it's wrong
·You are happy two Policemen came for a visit
·When your bike becomes your best friend
·You think it's fine for a soldier to be stationed at the end of your street
·You see armoured vehicles driving down the road
·It’s normal to greet people with “do you need a shower?”
·A bucket of sh*t is no longer that old car you drive
·Every house is a crack house
·Instead of rushing to the clothes line to get clothes in when it rains, you put dirty washing on the line in the hope that it will rain enough to clean them
·Going to Wellington to escape earthquakes makes sense
·Your doctor recommends having a few stiff drinks before bed to help you sleep
·You know how to start and refuel a generator
·You have tied the pantry, liquor cabinet and all the cupboard doors closed and it's not to keep kids out
·You prefer to sit under the table instead of at it
·You think electronics that have "shock proof" should say to which earthquake magnitude
·You know and actually understand the terms and conditions of your House and Contents insurance policies
·You can see irony in claims about houses made of “permanent materials”
·Your en-suite has a vege garden, dog kennel and grass
·Your teenagers are only too happy to sleep in the same room as their parents
·You stop using the term “built like a brick sh*t house”
·Dressing up to "head into town" means putting on a hi-viz vest, hard hat and boots
·Discussing toilet habits with total strangers is an everyday norm
·Wee boys don't get excited when they see (another) digger or a dozer - but all the adults in the street cheer wildly
·Voluntarily staying in Timaru for five days seems like a good idea
·You know what that extra gear lever on your 4X4 is for
·Metservice includes a graph for dust
·You have dust mask tan lines
·You can use the term "liquefaction" in everyday casual conversation, even your 3-year old can
·When a massive group of students appears in your street, you feel overwhelmed with gratitude instead calling the Police. What’s more, the students leave the street in better condition than when they arrived
·The answer to where anything is ... it’s on the floor
·You smile at strangers and greet people like you’re one big family

[Shonky]

These jokes are not funny. :mad:

...hmmm, nah it's okay. Sorry. I'm probably just a bit sensitive at the moment.

You see, my Japanese girlfriend left me. :(

Oh well... I guess there's plenty more in the sea...






:D

[jimbo110]

:eek2::no2::bat::bangin::Rolling:

[digger]

These jokes are not funny. :mad:

...hmmm, nah it's okay. Sorry. I'm probably just a bit sensitive at the moment.

You see, my Japanese girlfriend left me. :(

Oh well... I guess there's plenty more in the sea...






:D


well shonky I dont like to be rude but...

" I always thought your japanese girlfriend was a prostitute.... and then last week I saw her on Tv and it confirmed it... she was the one in the fishnets..." :eek2::banban:

[stevo68]

MODS CANCEL MY ACCOUNT, I DO NOT WANT TO ASSOCIATED WITH THIS LOT. Not sure which one suits...maybe both ;)

https://www.aulro.com/afvb/images/imported/2011/03/50.jpg

Or

https://www.aulro.com/afvb/images/imported/2011/04/1080.jpg

Regards

Stevo