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View Full Version : My "Ron-like" father-in-law.....



sheerluck
19th December 2012, 11:16 AM
Having read Ron's thread on his propensity to buy dodgy stuff, I thought I would give a few examples of my father in law, and his incredible abilities to turn perfectly decent stuff into smouldering, broken wrecks.

My FIL is in his mid seventies, an ex-RAF engineer. Every year he and my MIL come out to see us for Christmas (generally mid November to mid January), and we normally line up a few little jobs for him to do while he is here to avoid boredom.

However, every time he comes, there ends up being a "casualty" list of tools that don't survive his use and handling of them. Some years the list is longer than others. This year (and we are only halfway through the visit) is a long list already.

I tend to buy mid-range tools, not cheap and nasty, but generally can't justify spending on professional grade.

So far the list is:
A pull down mitre saw. Came to me and told me and told me it wasn't cutting very well. Went and had a look, to find him pulling the saw down onto 75mm square hardwood before it had spun up to full speed! No wonder it was struggling!
Next was an orbital sander. He had "adjusted" it as it was juddering, so he said. On second use after being "adjusted", the bottom plate detached itself, and launched itself, with abrasive pad attached, across the garage still spinning at 10,000rpm. Luckily it did no damage.
Next was my angle grinder. We were going to the tip, and needed to take a 3meter long blind track. Wouldn't go in the d1, so he went to cut it up with the angle grinder. As I went back into the shed, I saw him go to cut through the cords with the grinder, which then promptly wrapped themselves around the grinder spindle, flailed the semi cut track around like some bad martial arts movie, before jamming the grinder, and burning it out. All inside about 5secs. Luckily again, no injuries or damage other than the poor tool.
Next was a $45 router bit and $100 router table. I'd set up the table to do some tongue and groove cuts, he'd moved it, saying it wasn't quite right. In doing so, the cutter bit dropped down at an angle, merrily chewing through some of the table, and ruining the bit.
Last but not least, I have countless punches and chisels. Why oh why, would you feel the need to use a screwdriver as either of those tools? But hey, I now have have a draw half full of screwdrivers with broken handles.

It's very difficult to say anything. As soon as I do, my wife gets upset, and I cop an earbashing. So I have to keep the peace.

This is me keeping the peace.:D

isuzutoo-eh
19th December 2012, 11:31 AM
Next year suggest he helps with the laundry :p

sheerluck
19th December 2012, 11:41 AM
Next year suggest he helps with the laundry :p

He'd find some way to burn holes in all my clothes! A grinder I can live without for a week or two until I can get a new one, but going out with nothing on is not an option.:D

UncleHo
19th December 2012, 11:51 AM
I have a SIL like that :mad::( but, - - - - - - she loves him :wasntme:

strangy
19th December 2012, 01:38 PM
Mr Bean??:angel:

Landy Smurf
19th December 2012, 01:43 PM
why dont you go to them for xmas

sheerluck
19th December 2012, 02:06 PM
why dont you go to them for xmas

They live in the North East of England in a quaint little place called Hartlepool, where it's so cold in winter that even the polar bears get frostbite.

Plus getting time away from work is not always a given, and for the 4 of us, flights work out ~$8000. And they like to come for the warm weather. Gives my MIL something else to complain about :D

I'm still keeping the peace.

sheerluck
19th December 2012, 02:08 PM
Mr Bean??:angel:

There are times, I swear, that he makes Mr Bean look competent and professional. Heath Robinson is what my FIL aspires to.

Landy Smurf
19th December 2012, 03:00 PM
i guess xmas is extra expensive for you in more ways then one

V8Ian
19th December 2012, 06:00 PM
I saw the title and thought you were going to brag about him. :o

sheerluck
19th December 2012, 07:02 PM
I saw the title and thought you were going to brag about him. :o

Brag, yes, but not in a positive way.

carlschmid2002
20th December 2012, 01:36 PM
I guess this could be a good place to whine about the outlaws at Christmas. I have two BILs who really don't know tools at all. One used my good carpentry saw for pruning branches and the other ruined my good axe chopping roots (and rocks) SWMBO gets upset when I whine so I now keep quiet. I do keep the power tools well out of reach. I was away when one if them helped the wife paint a room. Everything I own has paint on it. Including the dogs.

DiscoMick
20th December 2012, 02:18 PM
I suppose you could lock the shed?

I'm the opposite - I'm very reluctant to touch anything in the BIL's shed as he's a mechanic and I'd hate to break anything.

sheerluck
20th December 2012, 03:23 PM
I suppose you could lock the shed?.....

With him in it??

I've already told him I've picked out a nice spot for him, down the bottom of our property, overlooking the creek :D

Still keeping the peace. But it's getting very hard.

DiscoMick
20th December 2012, 03:41 PM
Recommend some bus tours?;)

sheerluck
20th December 2012, 03:46 PM
Recommend some bus tours?;)

Any that are about 4 weeks in length? :p

DiscoMick
20th December 2012, 09:20 PM
Just include Darwin in the itinerary.

Disco44
21st December 2012, 12:05 AM
Tie him up and lock him in the chook house if he has one.
He's an accident walking around waiting to happen.
John.

p38arover
21st December 2012, 12:06 AM
Having read Ron's thread on his propensity to buy dodgy stuff, I thought I would give a few examples of my father in law, and his incredible abilities to turn perfectly decent stuff into smouldering, broken wrecks.

Having just seen this thread, I take exception to it. It implies I wreck everything. :mad:

That's not true, I buy it already broken (and I got some more this week) :(

:D

What sort of engineer was your FIL? I'd ban the beggar from using any of my tools regardless of the wife's views. Suggest to her how she'd feel if he ruined her best kitchen appliances or knives. That he aspires to Heath Robinson is pretty scary!

BTW, banning him from the workshop may result in an earbashing from your wife this time but it won't, hopefully, be ongoing whereas ruining good tools will be.

My Dad was an engineer and he was extremely skilled with tools (he started as a mechanic, then fitter and turner, and then did mechanical engineering). I learned a lot from him.

Ferret
21st December 2012, 12:59 AM
Don't you have a 'Mens Shed' near by. Send him over there.

My FIL was a flight engineer, back in days when such people used to have to change the aircraft engine oil or what ever after every second landing. His favorite story was landing on some remote island in the pacific and having to pull an engine down, then finding out the only oil he could get came in half pint cans and he had to open half a million to get enough oil for the engine.

He was good mechanic and he missed work very much when pensioned off - mainly because the kind of planes he used to love and understand ceased to exist.

Much easier to get on with than the MIL.:twisted:

33chinacars
21st December 2012, 12:59 AM
It's very difficult to say anything. As soon as I do, my wife gets upset, and I cop an earbashing. So I have to keep the peace.

This is me keeping the peace.:D

Good Luck. At least your letting of a bit of steam. And we can all share in your pain. Hang in there.

:bat::bangin::bangin:

Gary

sheerluck
21st December 2012, 06:33 PM
Having just seen this thread, I take exception to it. It implies I wreck everything. :mad:

That's not true, I buy it already broken (and I got some more this week) :(

:D

The title may give that impression Ron, but the first line explains all.

Where you are unlucky enough to constantly buy broken stuff, my FIL converts the good stuff into broken stuff. Perhaps he moonlights around various factories, as a quality control tester, and you are just unlucky enough to buy all the items he's tested!



What sort of engineer was your FIL? I'd ban the beggar from using any of my tools regardless of the wife's views. Suggest to her how she'd feel if he ruined her best kitchen appliances or knives. That he aspires to Heath Robinson is pretty scary!

BTW, banning him from the workshop may result in an earbashing from your wife this time but it won't, hopefully, be ongoing whereas ruining good tools will be.

My Dad was an engineer and he was extremely skilled with tools (he started as a mechanic, then fitter and turner, and then did mechanical engineering). I learned a lot from him.

He was a general mech engineer - looking after pretty much everything except airfield equipment, motor vehicles and aircraft (separate trade training).

Up to about 10 or so years ago, I had no issue whatsoever with his abilities and did learn from him, it is just unfortunately age catching up. His motor skills, eyesight, reactions and general thought processes and planning abilities are nowhere near what they were, which is why we only give him little jobs to do now. Even 5 years ago I would have been quite happy letting him start work by himself on some of the repairs that I am doing around the house. But now, we have to pull him back with "it'll be easier with two of us". Meaning "DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH IT UNTIL I'M ON HOLIDAY, YOU BODGE IT MERCHANT".

The kitchen is my domain too, by the way. I'm chief cook, but not bottlewasher. He touches my knives.....I'm still keeping the peace.:D