Colon Irrigation Clinic

[Ean Austral]

Gday All,

I know im from the back blocks of Darwin, but drove past a sign today saying Colon Irrigation Clinic,:o and must say I squirmed in my seat abit . :p

I guess these places exist and for good reason I'm sure , but must say its the first time I have ever seen or heard of 1.

Cheers Ean

[joel0407]

Gday All,

I know im from the back blocks of Darwin, but drove past a sign today saying Colon Irrigation Clinic,:o and must say I squirmed in my seat abit . :p

I guess these places exist and for good reason I'm sure , but must say its the first time I have ever seen or heard of 1.

Cheers Ean

Oh so you haven't seen colon bleaching yet? It's all the rage down south.

Happy Days

[Ean Austral]

Oh so you haven't seen colon bleaching yet? It's all the rage down south.

Happy Days

By the sounds of it Joel I don't think it's something I want to see. :o

Cheers Ean

[bob10]

Gday All,

I know im from the back blocks of Darwin, but drove past a sign today saying Colon Irrigation Clinic,:o and must say I squirmed in my seat abit . :p

I guess these places exist and for good reason I'm sure , but must say its the first time I have ever seen or heard of 1.

Cheers Ean


Yeah, it's what southerners do to get the **** out of their system. Not very effective, I believe, Bob

[Ean Austral]

Yeah, it's what southerners do to get the **** out of their system. Not very effective, I believe, Bob

You think some may need more than 1 treatment Bob.:wasntme:

Cheers Ean

[SBD4]

seems you blokes up north don't mind a bit of that action either Bob ;):

colonic irrigation brisbane - Google Search (http://www.google.com.au/search?q=colonic+irrigation+brisbane)

[flagg]

You lot searching for that are going to get some interesting advertisements for a while from google! :-p

[lewy]

Having a bummer of a trip Ean

[Ean Austral]

Having a bummer of a trip Ean

Nah didnt stop for a visit Lewy , but certainly know where to go if I do.

Cheers Ean

[Basil135]

Well, I did just read that you are on the way to Melbourne... So, when in Rome... ;)

:angel:

[Ean Austral]

Well, I did just read that you are on the way to Melbourne... So, when in Rome... ;)

:angel:

NSW is 15 mins away not sure what they do over there butt think I may take my chances.

Cheers Ean

[Roverlord off road spares]

What they don't use hot water bottles, a tube and soapy water. The enema is now called irrigation. I thought irrigation is what wine growers used to water their vines;)

[Dopey]

Gday All,

I know im from the back blocks of Darwin, but drove past a sign today saying Colon Irrigation Clinic,:o and must say I squirmed in my seat abit . :p

I guess these places exist and for good reason I'm sure , but must say its the first time I have ever seen or heard of 1.

Cheers Ean

This place might be a bit closer to home for you,
It's situated just near the bottom end of Fannie bay ( just a little bit to the south).

Welcome to Colonics Darwin! (http://www.colonicsdarwin.com.au)

[joel0407]

This place might be a bit closer to home for you,
It's situated just near the bottom end of Fannie bay ( just a little bit to the south).

Welcome to Colonics Darwin! (http://www.colonicsdarwin.com.au)

Pun intended I guess.

[ramblingboy42]

This place might be a bit closer to home for you,
It's situated just near the bottom end of Fannie bay ( just a little bit to the south).

Welcome to Colonics Darwin! (http://www.colonicsdarwin.com.au)

Are you sure that's not a spelling mistake? Maybe meant to be Welcome to ALCOHOLICS Darwin?

[lewy]

It didn't happen without ????????
please don't

[Hall]

Boy did you miss out on a great chance to buy a never to be topped gift card. :) I reckon the look on the receivers face would be worth seeing. Yes I was thinking of you when I brought this..... :D
Cheers Hall

[UncleHo]

Aah! Ean, you just need a good feed of hot cooked prawns :o that will clean most people out as well as take the skin off your tongue :(



Don't Ask!!!!

[V8Ian]

I notice this thread was directly above "DIY plumbing" :o

[V8Ian]

seems you blokes up north don't mind a bit of that action either Bob ;):

colonic irrigation brisbane - Google Search (http://www.google.com.au/search?q=colonic+irrigation+brisbane)
Tourism being a significant part of our economy, we have to cater for southern visitors' peculiarities. :p

[UncleHo]

:Rolling::Rolling::clap2: very quick Ian, but it could be done :eek:

[Mick_Marsh]

Tourism being a significant part of our economy, we have to cater for southern visitors' peculiarities. :p
Northerners don't need it because of their beer.

[UncleHo]

You don't call that V-something or other BEER!!!!!! XXXXgold is the way to cool down

[Mick_Marsh]

You don't call that V-something or other BEER!!!!!! XXXXgold is the way to cool down
and irrigate your colon.

[Basil135]

What really scares me is.....


This thread has nearly 400 views :eek:

[LandyAndy]

Cheaper to DIY.Length of inch hose and a large funnel from Bunnings,and a box of XXXX from Dan Murphys.
Andrew

[UncleHo]

:D:D:D:eek2::twobeers:

[SBD4]

Tourism being a significant part of our economy, we have to cater for southern visitors' peculiarities. :p

Touché Ian!

Actually, 20 years ago I had a client who owned one of these clinics. Very nice people, staff were all stunning ladies.

Whenever I visited (for the purposes of my work) I noted that all their clients were very stroppy, searly kind and couldn't help but think that the clinic was providing a community service if the procedure lightened their mood a little.

The staff did their best to convince me to "try it once". Nup, never, no!!! I acquiesced to a conventional massage which was easy to accept given that it was done by one of the said stunning ladies.

[Lotz-A-Landies]

I don't know what the fuss is all about Ean can pop into his local clinic in Darwin! Colonics Darwin (http://www.colonicsdarwin.com.au/), just that the southerners are less uptight about advertising it.

They'll be even less uptight after a visit to the clinic! :D

[joel0407]

I don't know what the fuss is all about Ean can pop into his local clinic in Darwin! Colonics Darwin (http://www.colonicsdarwin.com.au/), just that the southerners are less uptight about advertising it.

They'll be even less uptight after a visit to the clinic! :D

Things only go one way with my bum and that's out. Maybe Southerners just don't mind if stuff goes in and out.:lol2:

Happy Days

[V8Ian]

I'm with you Joel, if I have prostrate cancer it can be diagnosed at the autopsy. :lock:

[bob10]

Northerners don't need it because of their beer.


Yeah, that NT Lager is Carlton, I believe , now XXXX , turns office clerks into rodeo riders, road navvies into poets, politicians into...... Naaaha, they're still politicians,
:D Bob

[d2dave]

Cheaper to DIY.Length of inch hose and a large funnel from Bunnings,and a box of XXXX from Dan Murphys.
Andrew

DIY is an option. Last summer when I went to do a spot check on my amenities block there was a person that had put all his gear into a shower cubicle while he went to the toilet.

Hanging from the curtain rail was a canister with a hose and a tapered fitting on the end. While I as tidying the place he came out of the toilet so I queried him about it.

I need say no more. Needless to say it does not excite me one bit and I cannot see why any one would do it, but each to their own.

That hole at the rear is a one way passage in my book.

[UncleHo]

Was it not the actor Steve McQueen that when diagnosed with Colon Cancer took to Colon Irrigation with Beer ??

[bob10]

Was it not the actor Steve McQueen that when diagnosed with Colon Cancer took to Colon Irrigation with Beer ??


Yeah, Vic Bitter, trying to make it taste better, Bob :)

[UncleHo]

"VB" that's bottled cats P isn't it ??

[d2dave]

"VB" that's bottled cats P isn't it ??

VB stands for Very Best. I am actually having one as I type. Being Australia's biggest selling beer it can't be too bad.

[V8Ian]

VB stands for Very Bad. I am actually having one as I type. Being Australia's biggest selling beer it can't be too bad.

Fixed. ;)

[Davo]

Northerners know all about this sort of thing. Around here, we go through this treatment every time we pay at the local supermarket.

[Sitec]

VB stands for Viciously Bad. I am actually having one as I try to type. The trouble with it being Australia's biggest selling beer is I can't believe I bought more.. It really is so bad.

:D:wasntme:

[Sitec]

:D:wasntme:

Sorry, still giggling like a school boy!!

[BMKal]

Cheaper to DIY.Length of inch hose and a large funnel from Bunnings,and a box of XXXX from Dan Murphys.
Andrew

"Inch hose" ???? :o

Bit of a worry Andrew.

I'm not even going to ask if there's a brass nozzle on the end of it .......... :wasntme:

[ramblingboy42]

I often salute my mates with an "up your bum" when we have a beer , but this puts a totally different slant on it.......

[Ean Austral]

C'mon guys get real. There is only 1 beer and that's NT Draught in a Darwin Stubby, what ya don't drink you can use as drain cleaner, radiator flush, rust remover, and it even cleans ya pipes, that's why they give it to you in such a big stubby and why real Territorians never need the services of the Colon Irrigation Centre.

Hence my shock at seeing the sign for the clinic.

Cheers Ean

[Saitch]

An old guy goes to his doctor
for his
physical and gets sent to the
Urologist
as a precaution.
When he gets there, he
discovers the
Urologist is a very pretty
female doctor.
The female doctor says,"I'm
going to check your
Prostate today, but this new
procedure is a little
Different from what you are
probably used to.
I want you to lie on your right
side,
Bend your knees, then while I
check your
Prostate, take a deep breath
and say,
'99'.
The old guy obeys and says,
"99".
The doctor says, "Great", now
turn over on
Your left side and again, while
I repeat the check, take a deep
breath and say,
'99".
Again, the old guy says,
'99'."
The doctor said, “Very good”.
Now then, I want you to lie on
your back with
Your knees raised slightly.
I'm going to check your
prostate with this hand,
And with the other hand I'm
going to hold on to
Your penis to keep it out of the
way.
Now take a deep breath and
say,
'99'.
The old guy begins,
"One....
two…
Three…"

[SBD4]

I often salute my mates with an "up your bum" when we have a beer , but this puts a totally different slant on it.......

made me think of Jack Thompson's classic line - the 1st 40 seconds are too hard to watch so you might want to forward past that:

The Sum of Us (1994) clip 2 on ASO - Australia's audio and visual heritage online (http://aso.gov.au/titles/features/the-sum-of-us/clip2/)

[d2dave]

C'mon guys get real. There is only 1 beer and that's NT Draught in a Darwin Stubby, what ya don't drink you can use as drain cleaner, radiator flush, rust remover, and it even cleans ya pipes, that's why they give it to you in such a big stubby and why real Territorians never need the services of the Colon Irrigation Centre.

Hence my shock at seeing the sign for the clinic.

Cheers Ean

We all know that no one actually drinks these. They are just a tourist attraction. I have a couple, unopened that I got in 1978.

[Ean Austral]

We all know that no one actually drinks these. They are just a tourist attraction. I have a couple, unopened that I got in 1978.

As I said, open 1 and drink it, you will never need to visit the irrigation clinic ever, and there must be some things around the van park that need a good clean, or de-scale or similar. It's to good to waste .

Cheers Ean

[UncleHo]

I got mine about then when my parents went up there via Alice Springs,as dad was part of "DOMF" building the road from Alice to Darwin in 1941/42 and he took mum to see where they worked and camped,so they brought back 6 "stubbies" for family and friends,still got mine in a draw in the wardrobe :)

[ramblingboy42]

Just to steal the thread a bit Ean, do you remember when the Darwin Stubby came back online after Cyclone Tracy?

I was taken up to Darwin early in 1975 specifically to get the NT Brewery in production again.

If you have seen the reece plumbing nightmare thread, it is better than the plumbing and pipework I did to get that brewery going again.

Once we got the beer brewing it was all manually racked (that's kegs filled).

After the draught was successfully flowing I was asked by the brewer, John Moffat, could we somehow get Darwin Stubbies going again as a moral booster to Darwinites who were still involved in the massive cleanup.

so, we set about making a manually operated filler with 3 spears as I recall, spring loaded into the bottle neck with a hand valve to flow the beer in and a foot lever to release everything.

I'm not sure how many bottles we exploded and saturated ourselves in beer until we got it right.

It was all done in the cold room so the guys couldn't stay in there too long and had to do changeovers.

It took several minutes to set up and fill 3 stubbies and cap them, so production was a bit slow.

I think the first days full production was about 24 stubbies which were dutifully delivered about 2 stubbies to each pub by our then most likeable big Moari delivery driver . Some may remember him.

From then on each pub got at least a crate of 4 each delivery.

Over the next 6 months the brewery was basically rebuilt but I don't think it ever became automated.

BTW if anyone can recall that period and thought the beer was good....it was....John Moffat was a much awarded brewer and won a number of awards for his brews in competitions and we had much delight in drinking some of his specials at the brewery's bar at lunchtime and after work.

[joel0407]

Just be careful with the Alcohol Emema.

Woman accused of giving husband lethal sherry enema



Woman accused of giving husband lethal sherry enema - seattlepi.com (http://www.seattlepi.com/national/article/Woman-accused-of-giving-husband-lethal-sherry-1165596.php)


Happy Days.
(http://www.seattlepi.com/national/article/Woman-accused-of-giving-husband-lethal-sherry-1165596.php)

[ramblingboy42]

My mind is going bonkers here.

What position does one adopt as a hose and funnel is inserted into the anus?

Does one apply copious quantities of K-Y gel to assist with insertion?

How far does one whack the hose in?

Do you say "bottoms up" or "cheers" or "up ya bum" as you proceed to pour?

How much grog do you pour in?

What happens when "it's" full?

How does one empty" it?"

What does one do with the grog that's left over?

I am ****ing myself laughing as I write this , as I have a mental image of Billy Connolly discussing this on stage.

[sheerluck]

Just be careful with the Alcohol Emema.

Woman accused of giving husband lethal sherry enema



Woman accused of giving husband lethal sherry enema - seattlepi.com (http://www.seattlepi.com/national/article/Woman-accused-of-giving-husband-lethal-sherry-1165596.php)


Happy Days.
(http://www.seattlepi.com/national/article/Woman-accused-of-giving-husband-lethal-sherry-1165596.php)

Words fail me. For one, I had no idea that a person's arse could possibly hold 3litres of liquid

Secondly, I have never looked at a large bottle of alcohol and thought "hmmm, I know where I'd like to put that!"

Thirdly, when you've had waaaay too much to drink, you vomit. Not possible, with the method outlined in that news item I assume?

[joel0407]

Words fail me. For one, I had no idea that a person's arse could possibly hold 3litres of liquid

Secondly, I have never looked at a large bottle of alcohol and thought "hmmm, I know where I'd like to put that!"

Thirdly, when you've had waaaay too much to drink, you vomit. Not possible, with the method outlined in that news item I assume?

What was worse was I only knew about this as I'd seen a reenactment. It was some TV show from memory. It might have been the crime channel on foxtel or something.

[Roverlord off road spares]

Words fail me. For one, I had no idea that a person's arse could possibly hold 3litres of liquid

Secondly, I have never looked at a large bottle of alcohol and thought "hmmm, I know where I'd like to put that!"

Thirdly, when you've had waaaay too much to drink, you vomit. Not possible, with the method outlined in that news item I assume?

The anus is just the opening to dispose of waste, the colon lower bowel is quite long hence can hold quite a lot of fluid.
Why am an expert in this subject you ask?
I am no longer a virgin, I have had numerous colonoscopys, and even a Barrium enema. Now that's a concrete mixer full of concrete with the same consitancy:(

Believe me when they come with the garden hose with the camera it's long. I woke up during a procedure, i was told I was supposed to be asleep, I asked if I could have a look, they obliged, all I could see was blood vessels then went back under sedation.
I suppose it's better than not finding out, woman endure a lot more than us guys.
Procedures can be dangerous, know some one who's client had a routine examination with the up persiscope and unknowingly ruptured the colon and they died 5 days later, but those odds are like trying to win tattslotto:)

PS it must be large, or how do they get the $1Mil street value of cocaine into some counties.

[Nick S]

They are quite big with lots of room to store stuff. We had a guy in ED here not long ago with a shampoo bottle in his large bowel, said that he "slipped" in the shower and landed on the bottle and it disappeared!! Fun getting it out

[seano87]

They are quite big with lots of room to store stuff. We had a guy in ED here not long ago with a shampoo bottle in his large bowel, said that he "slipped" in the shower and landed on the bottle and it disappeared!! Fun getting it out


I work in a radiology clinic.

Strange things happen. Whilst this isn't one we've seen, what can I say... You've got a friend in me!

70927

[Roverlord off road spares]

They are quite big with lots of room to store stuff. We had a guy in ED here not long ago with a shampoo bottle in his large bowel, said that he "slipped" in the shower and landed on the bottle and it disappeared!! Fun getting it out
Top that, a guy with a stuck golf ball, How????
He was bouncing it in the shower and it bounced in :eek:
These people must really think the rest of us are gullible.

[sheerluck]

They are quite big with lots of room to store stuff. We had a guy in ED here not long ago with a shampoo bottle in his large bowel, said that he "slipped" in the shower and landed on the bottle and it disappeared!! Fun getting it out

A guy I used to work with used to always tell the story that his partner (A&E consultant at one of the big hospitals in Birmingham, UK) had passed on.....

One night a guy had presented at the A&E department with chronic lower back pain. He was duly sent off for an X-Ray, and on returning, the consultant had a convsersation:

"Well sir, we believe we've found the cause of your pain. You appear to have what looks like a hard boiled egg lodged in your rectum"
"Oh, really? Did you only find the one?"

:eek:

[Mick_Marsh]

I work in a radiology clinic.

Strange things happen. Whilst this isn't one we've seen, what can I say... You've got a friend in me!

70927
Search For the Hero - M People (With Lyrics) - YouTube

[V8Ian]

:Rolling::Rolling::Rolling: Mick, you really need to find a job. You become quite mischievous when you have time on your hands. :clap2:

[Nick S]

I work in a radiology clinic.

Strange things happen. Whilst this isn't one we've seen, what can I say... You've got a friend in me!

70927

Took me a while but I think that that is a Buz Lightyear inserted feet first. Anybody else? Perhaps we could have an AULRO competion to identify the mystery rectal object

[Ean Austral]

Took me a while but I think that that is a Buz Lightyear inserted feet first. Anybody else? Perhaps we could have an AULRO competion to identify the mystery rectal object

I thought it was one of those massage things that look like a sausage dog that have like rollers on one end and fingers on the other.

Buzz light year toy ... Great guess.

Cheers Ean

[V8Ian]

It's Big Bird from Sesame Street, he also needs to evacuate his bowel.

[Nick S]

It's Big Bird from Sesame Street, he also needs to evacuate his bowel.

Mmmm not sure about Big Bird being up there, I still think its Buzz, you can see his wings extended if you look closely plus I think the Big Bird has got toes whereas the "Mystery object" looks like it is wearing boots

[V8Ian]

Mmmm not sure about Big Bird being up there, I still think its Buzz, you can see his wings extended if you look closely plus I think the Big Bird has got toes whereas the "Mystery object" looks like it is wearing boots
Doesn't everyone wear boots in mud? :angel:

[Nick S]

Good point!

[Mick_Marsh]

Mmmm not sure about Big Bird being up there, I still think its Buzz, you can see his wings extended if you look closely plus I think the Big Bird has got toes whereas the "Mystery object" looks like it is wearing boots
I think Ian was saying it was a picture of Big Birds bowel wit the Buzz Lightyear inserted.

[Basil135]

Slow news day, boys??? :cool:

And to think this thread is approaching 1200 views. :eek:

[Mick_Marsh]

Slow news day, boys??? :cool:

And to think this thread is approaching 1200 views. :eek:
You find this surprising!

[Roverlord off road spares]

Slow news day, boys??? :cool:

And to think this thread is approaching 1200 views. :eek:

:eek: hmm people are coming out of the closet now? too much interst, let get back to landy stuff.;)

[joel0407]

:eek: hmm people are coming out of the closet now? too much interst, let get back to landy stuff.;)

Isn't Landy ownership about dirt tracks and taking the back roads?

[Basil135]

Isn't Landy ownership about dirt tracks and taking the back roads?

Some prefer getting stuck in the brown stuff, while others prefer the smooth sands of a lightly flowing estuary. ;)



:wasntme:

[bob10]

Some prefer getting stuck in the brown stuff, while others prefer the smooth sands of a lightly flowing estuary. ;)



:wasntme:


Incontinent? Bob

[Roverlord off road spares]

Some prefer getting stuck in the brown stuff, while others prefer the smooth sands of a lightly flowing estuary. ;)



:wasntme:
If you says it slow enough it's almost poetry:D