The Heart of Marriage

[carjunkieanon]

Morning all,

What do you think is at the 'heart' of marriage? What's the most important thing to have in a marriage?

Any opinion welcome.

(I'm doing some talks on marriage).

Cheers,
Rick

[Ausfree]

Been married 39 years and I think "Trust" and giving your partner "Personal Space" is very important.:) But I'm no expert, but then again our marriage is strong.:)

[Pedro_The_Swift]

I only have 15 years to draw on but I think your partner should also be your best friend:blush:

[Chucaro]

After 46 years married I can just say true love.

[Pickles2]

Chuc, how are you mate, we don't agree on a lot of things, but you just beat me to it,....I was going to say, "LOVE", which means so much.
True love can solve just about anything, I think.
Pickles.

[Chucaro]

Chuc, how are you mate, we don't agree on a lot of things, but you just beat me to it,....I was going to say, "LOVE", which means so much.
True love can solve just about anything, I think.
Pickles.

Pickles, having different points of view and do not agree with things have a very positive outcome we learn from each other. :)
At our age we have a view based in our experience in life and that have to worth something.
Cheers

[p38arover]

We've been married 44 years and I have no idea.

I've heard the cry from wives on terrible American TV programmes to their partner "You weren't there for me!" Not being a woman, I'm not sure what it means but I think my wife and I are there for each other.

Actually, the cry has become a regular part if our conversation for silly things like not helping to make the bed so only one of us does it, or when one of us has to make our own cup of tea.

Maybe it helps that I still love my wife and still think she's beautiful.

[simmo]

my 2 cents worth, genuine admiration for you partners character

[olbod]

Morning all,

What do you think is at the 'heart' of marriage? What's the most important thing to have in a marriage?

Any opinion welcome.

(I'm doing some talks on marriage).

Cheers,
Rick


For me it would have to be a wife.

[Boxhead63]

Understanding of your peculiarities and idiosyncrasies. Ohhhhhh and a good solid sex life.

Cheers
Rob

[DiscoMick]

After 34 years, I'd say you start off as friends and then fall 'in love' (whatever that means). Then hopefully you share a lot of common interests, give your partner the support to fulfill themself, work together to achieve common aims such as having and raising children, and grow together through shared interests. You don't have to be identical - in fact, I think being different makes it more interesting - but you do need to be flexible, open, honest and supportive. Admitting when you're wrong or have stuffed up helps a lot too, because nothing kills a relationship more than insisting you're always right, when obviously no-one is always right.
Maybe I could jokingly sum it up as:
Rule A: Your partner is always right.
Rule B: See rule A.



Sent from my GT-P5210 using AULRO mobile app

[RichardK]

I am in my second marriage (now 24 years)and these are some things which I think are relevant. Some of these have been mentioned.

Total respect for each other
Allowing each other personal space
Emotional support
Love, emotional and physical
Ability to discuss problems without judgement
Acceptance of each other as they are

[Sitec]

After 46 years married I can just say true love.

Yup, you're on the money there! 'Love' and within that love comes all the little things that you admire.. Touch, sound, character, humor, oh and of course sex..... You also include those little things that you see in your partner that others don't.. I'm currently sat around a camp fire having a lazy morning with a group of friends.. My wife is sat beside me with Welles on reading her E.Book and Im pleased as punch to be sat beside her! Love her to bits for who she is and wouldn't have her any other way!! :)

[spudboy]

So am I doing it wrong, by trying to find a seriously rich blonde with really big norks then?

[p38arover]

So am I doing it wrong, by trying to find a seriously rich blonde with really big norks then?

If you find one, ask if she has a twin sister. :p

[Disco Muppet]

Love :)

[korg20000bc]

Princess Bride - The Wedding - YouTube

[bob10]

Being a great cook doesn't hurt, [ swmbo, I mean] Bob

[Gullible]

Respect.

and an understanding that you are going to grow old together. That means hair growing where it didn't, not growing where it did and firm bits getting saggy.

If you can still float each others boat with all that going on you'll be sorted.

[Trundle]

Acceptance. Originally my wife wanted me to change, dress up to go down the street, now she accepts that I'm a slob (what's wrong with stubbies and a stained flannel?), and I'm not going to change. She still loves me, but has also accepted me. Everyone has something that will irk someone else, and if you/they can't accept it then it will become an issue. Accept what the other person is, don't try and change something because you don't like it, accept it or move on.

[sheerluck]

Laugh together. Laugh a lot, laugh often, in the good times and in the bad.

Learn to take criticism, and how to change.

[korg20000bc]

Being a great cook doesn't hurt, [ swmbo, I mean] Bob
Was that a reference to Peter Cook in the post above yours?

[jonesfam]

For the bloke - Knowing when to just shut-up.
For the lady - Knowing when to leave a bloke alone.

[mikehzz]

I first saw my wife at school when she walked past me. I thought holy crap, that girl is impossibly attractive. Well that was 42 years ago and we have been best friends ever since. I think you really need a good sense of humour for the long haul...nature is cruel. Her new moustache that she has started growing is a real hoot..... :D

[Hoges]

there's the strategic basis of successful marriage : a genuine desire on the part of both to make it work and to work at it ...continuous improvement every day! Unconditional love and shared values which support unconditional love ...then the rest ...equality, mateship, trust, respect, mutual support, anticipation of the other's needs etc all follow...

then there are the tactical issues: a bloke needs to step up and show "leadership"... not the command and control model... rather leadership through taking responsibility in a manly way... , which leads to maturity, active listening, empathy, wisdom, tolerance...

[TasD90]

Ain't got mutual trust/honesty, ain't got nothin' !!!

Cheers, Peter.

[superquag]

Men need respect ... and Women need to feel cherished .

When either feels starved, they can,t readily give to the other...

Simple. - feed each other.:D

[67hardtop]

And they better love land rovers too:D:D:D:D

Cheers Rod:wasntme:

[benji]

Rick, have you read a book called 'The 5 Love Languages' by Garry Chapman?

Can't really add anything- we've only been married 7 years.

But so far, it's about omnipotent love and commitment, and absolute communication.

[Basil135]

Just saw this, and it makes a lot of sense...

https://www.aulro.com/afvb/images/imported/2014/05/564.jpg