Racism at School

[Road Stone]

Touchy subject I guess.


I have three mixed race children. Two from a PNG ex partner and one is from my Ugandan wife.


My PNG daughter who is 12 goes to a fee paying school near Windaroo, half way between the Gold Coast and Brisbane. She is Australian and has a very strong QLD accent.


This week she rang me to complaint that for the last few weeks she has been racially abused by her peers in the same school year. Her mother has taken this up but the long and short of it is seems to be the school want to keep it quiet.


So what do I do? Contact the school again and ask what is their course of further action or go higher, and where is that?


I'm a little surprised, as when I meet her friends and kids the same age, they all seem non plussed about race/colour/creed etc and also thought that as they had mixed from a young age it did not matter.


Not sure how to proceed.


Cheers, Jerry

[George130]

From your part send an email and make it clear you expect a response with exactly what they have and will do about it. Suggest you will take it further.

Your wife if she can take your daughter to school then she should and insist on speaking with the headmaster. Again insist in writing what they have done and will or it will be taken further.
Do not take no for an answer and don't brushed aside.
I either of you are not satisfied then push harder and even suggest you will raise with the PNG government about the racist teachings of the school.

Best tactic is start nice and when that fails make it clear you can be their worst nightmare.

[Mick_Marsh]

Yes, very touchy subject. Kids can be very cruel and, at that age, have no concept of consequences.
This is how I would approach it.
Keep a log of instances for possible future reference. Hopefully it won't be needed.
Explain to the Principal, it has to stop.
Swat up on the racial vilification laws.
See what happens.

If the school does nothing (it won't improve over night so give it time), seek legal advice. That is when the keeping a log will come in handy. Nothing launches Principals into action as the prospect of legal action.

Oh, another thing to be wary of is Principals lie.
Let me explain. They are crisis managers. Their modus operandi is to say whatever is necessary to get you to walk out of their office calm so they can move on to the next crisis. If that means lying to your face, then so be it. Keep a record of any discussions you have with the Principal. Again, hopefully it won't be needed but very helpful when legal advice is sought.

Good luck.
There's no place for racism in today's schools.

[Mick_Marsh]

From your part send an email and make it clear you expect a response with exactly what they have and will do about it. Suggest you will take it further.

Your wife if she can take your daughter to school then she should and insist on speaking with the headmaster. Again insist in writing what they have done and will or it will be taken further.
Do not take no for an answer and don't brushed aside.
I either of you are not satisfied then push harder and even suggest you will raise with the PNG government about the racist teachings of the school.

Best tactic is start nice and when that fails make it clear you can be their worst nightmare.
George, I can tell you typed that with feeling.
Might I suggest you read the original post a few more times whilst a little calmer, you may wish to edit one or two things.

[mike123]

I agree with Mick's comments. The log is a very good approach.

Key is to do what is in the best interest of your daughter? The school may want to hush it up but that is them burying their heads in the sand hoping that it will go away. Which is the wrong approach. Since you are paying for schooling then I assume that it is a private school of some form. These schools will have action plans to address all sorts of matters including racial taunts. The school has an opportunity to stomp on the issue early and so they should - perhaps remind them of it. My concern is if they let it go on or turn a blind eye then where does it end - when it becomes physical abuse??

Your daughter calling you is her way to reach out for help. If your ex-partner isn't pursuing it then you should. Schools are use to dealing with separated parents situations. Your daughter is expecting you to be an active supporter of her. You will need to explain to your daughter what you are doing to help her. In discussions with the school keep a level head but be persistent.

The father daughter bond is strong and if it was my daughter in that situation I would seek an acceptable resolution.

[ramblingboy42]

I think I know the school in question and know the school principal (as well as a direct relation of mine being asst principal there for many years)well enough to be able to say that if he has any idea of a problem like this he would address it within his maximum possible means.

The school has a very multi racial student base and the teachers and staff are well versed in dealing with problems like this.

I suggest to you Jerry that you contact the principal with your concerns however small or large they may be and I think you and your daughter will be dealt with with integrity.

[UncleHo]

G'day Road Stone :)

I would suggest that this problem (taunting) is probably caused or instigated by one student who weilds power over her peers,and has trouble accepting that your daughter is of a different hue,I would suggest to you that you get your wife to ask your daughter if she is aware of who is starting the trouble/problem, then your wife can deal with the principal directly and voice her suspicions :)

cheers

[tonic]

Always a tough situation when your child is in trouble of any sort.


We have a special needs boy and expect these bully problems to arise in the future. We have had friends go through what you are going through and had similar slow reactions from senior school staff.


The main thing with anything like this is to be coming from a strong position. Our chosen strategy should the need arise, will be to send out boy off to school with something like this


https://www.google.com.au/shopping/product/14594765803550997742?q=personal+voice+recorder&bav=on.2,or.r_cp.r_qf.&bvm=bv.69837884,d.dGI,pv.xjs.s.en.uXax_bh6Sqg.O&biw=1536&bih=770&tch=1&ech=1&psi=pT-uU4WkGIfskgWd7YDoDw.1403928485956.5&ei=tT-uU8CANcKgkAWi1oHoDg&ved=0CM4CEKYrMBI


Should you use this option the important thing to remember is not to induce a situation for the purpose of using it. The situation has to what has been happening normally, not encouraged.


As had been said earlier, kids at this age can be mean, and their is normally a ring leader who is trying to be the most popular that everybody wants to be around.


Good luck with it, best wishes.

[Slunnie]

Oh, another thing to be wary of is Principals lie.
Let me explain. They are crisis managers. Their modus operandi is to say whatever is necessary to get you to walk out of their office calm so they can move on to the next crisis. If that means lying to your face, then so be it. Keep a record of any discussions you have with the Principal. Again, hopefully it won't be needed but very helpful when legal advice is sought.


:lol2:

Laughable. Make sure the school doesn't delete the kid off the role if seeking legal advice because they can do that and deny all knowledge too. ;)

Just make an appointment with the Principle and have a chat - Principles have this way of getting things done and problems resolved.

[rangietragic]

While bullying needs to be stamped out,it seems to me people are becoming very thin skinned.When i was at school way back in the sixties,we were taught"Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me".Back then i was fat,and was called many derogatory names.Idid not go to the principal,or to my parents,or try to slash my wrists.Some students were skinny,short,tall,or had red hair.One had dark skin.They all copped it too,just part of growing up.However,there was no faceplant back then,so name calling stopped till next day,unlike these days.Kids need to harden up and realise the bullys are usually the ones with the real problem.low self esteem.Kids will be kids,and sometimes they are proper little arseholes:mad:

[benji]

Unfortunately I've lost friends who've taken their life due to bullying. Some kids do have a thick skin; but others just can't brush it off. You're right, kids have changed, but so has bullying.

Other people are on the money, speak with the principal. From 15 years as a leader of youth and now a teacher, kids don't tell their parents about bullying until it's quite bad; and you should commended that you have that kind of relationship where she can tell you ' because many can't.


Sent from my GT-I9305T using AULRO mobile app

[bob10]

My daughter is a teacher, in the country. She is down for the holidays. I will ask her advice, & PM you, Bob

[snowbound]

While bullying needs to be stamped out,it seems to me people are becoming very thin skinned.When i was at school way back in the sixties,we were taught"Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me".Back then i was fat,and was called many derogatory names.Idid not go to the principal,or to my parents,or try to slash my wrists.Some students were skinny,short,tall,or had red hair.One had dark skin.They all copped it too,just part of growing up.However,there was no faceplant back then,so name calling stopped till next day,unlike these days.Kids need to harden up and realise the bullys are usually the ones with the real problem.low self esteem.Kids will be kids,and sometimes they are proper little arseholes:mad:
You may have well hit the nail on the head rangietragic, it's just the way kids are. And to the OP I say if your mixed race PNG daughter is anything like mine she is probably a "bit of a looker" and there is jealousy?? Girls are way worse than boys too I think? If its any help to her, PM me and I will pass my daughters email on to you for her (My girl is 20 now) and I know Claira will be more than happy to have a chat, It will do more good than winging to the school IMO

[UncleHo]

I was one of those kids and teenager who wasn't good looking, but I built a shell around myself and used the expression "When the Lord was handing out Looks I thought he said "Chooks" and I wasn't hungry,but when he was handing out Brains I thought he said Trains and I caught the Express" :D

It was a simple retaught which often left the person giving me a hard time no answer :)

[Road Stone]

First off, thanks All.

The correct coarse of action is indeed to speak to the school again. I had asked my daughter if she wanted me to get involved but have not got a direct answer. Your interpretation is correct Mike123, she is looking for help in some way.

The school is indeed very multi racial, which is why I was so taken aback. My daughter does say that her mother feels the school is trying to hide the issue.

Rangietragic, thanks that would be okay, I'll ask and see what she wants, through social media maybe a way.

I agree, 30 years ago we took it on the chin but it's all so politically correct now you have to even be careful where you point a camera now if children are around.

Like most PNG mixed race girls, she is indeed growing up to be a stunner so maybe that is coming into it, given society is so vain now and a permanent "tan" is an advantage?

Bob, would be interested to hear any advice from a teachers prospective.

Cheers, Jerry.

[bob10]

Bob, would be interested to hear any advice from a teachers prospective.

Cheers, Jerry.


Not a problem, I'm curious my self. Our daughter has very high social justice ideals, and is teaching in the Catholic system, I have an idea of what she will say, but I can't speak for her. Interestingly, her first 12 months University were at Q.U. , studying for qualifications to enable her to work with disadvantaged children. When the reality of the job was pointed out to her, and the very high burnout rate of workers in the industry made clear by people in the job, she applied & was accepted at the A.C.U., for a teaching degree. And hasn't looked back. She was born to teach, and any advice from her would be worth listening to, I think [ but I'm her proud Dad, totally biased] Bob

[bob10]

PM sent, Bob

[Road Stone]

Thank you Bob10

[bob10]

Not a problem, Jerry, will pass the message onto the daughter, just remember, this issue may not be as bad as it sounds. Remain calm. BTW, daughter is a bit of a trooper, down from the bush for school holidays, is helping out at the School for Autistic Children at Brighton. [ paid help, of course]. ;) Bob

[Tombie]

Always a tough situation when your child is in trouble of any sort.

We have a special needs boy and expect these bully problems to arise in the future. We have had friends go through what you are going through and had similar slow reactions from senior school staff.

The main thing with anything like this is to be coming from a strong position. Our chosen strategy should the need arise, will be to send out boy off to school with something like this

https://www.google.com.au/shopping/product/14594765803550997742?q=personal+voice+recorder&bav=on.2,or.r_cp.r_qf.&bvm=bv.69837884,d.dGI,pv.xjs.s.en.uXax_bh6Sqg.O&biw=1536&bih=770&tch=1&ech=1&psi=pT-uU4WkGIfskgWd7YDoDw.1403928485956.5&ei=tT-uU8CANcKgkAWi1oHoDg&ved=0CM4CEKYrMBI

Should you use this option the important thing to remember is not to induce a situation for the purpose of using it. The situation has to what has been happening normally, not encouraged.

As had been said earlier, kids at this age can be mean, and their is normally a ring leader who is trying to be the most popular that everybody wants to be around.

Good luck with it, best wishes.

Horrible that such measures must be considered...

Just keep in mind that recording of people without consent or knowledge is also not condoned by law.

[isuzurover]

...

Just keep in mind that recording of people without consent or knowledge is also not condoned by law.

On the contrary, in QLD you can legally record conversations to which you are a party without informing the other party.



... It is not illegal to simply record a telephone conversation if you are a party to the conversation as long as you do not attach anything to or in the phone or its connections.

...
Appropriately obtained recordings can be accepted by a court as evidence.

...
It is not illegal to record a face-to-face conversation that you are involved in but there may be restrictions on how you use it.
Privacy (http://www.legalaid.qld.gov.au/legalinformation/livinginthecommunity/Yourrights/Pages/Privacy.aspx#When%20can%20I%20tell%20somebody%20ab out%20a%20conversation%20or%20publish%20a%20conver sation%20that%20was%20legally%20recorded?)

[JohnF]

I am a white Australian and I hate racism. I have a friend, an e-judge who is parried to a woman from PNG and his family is lovely-- though I do not know his family well, I know him well.

[Ausfree]

I am a white Australian and I hate racism. I have a friend, an e-judge who is parried to a woman from PNG and his family is lovely-- though I do not know his family well, I know him well.
John, what is an e-judge?????

[Andrew D]

Oh, another thing to be wary of is Principals lie.

I think Principals are purposely very selective with their words so as not to offend the Parents more times than not. Generally parents cannot handle the 'cutting to the bone' truth especially about their little cherubs.

Adults are defensive of their offspring (especially in the school environment) and sometimes are not open minded to situations that occur outside of their home.

Regards
Andrew

[BMKal]

I am a white Australian and I hate racism. I have a friend, an e-judge who is parried to a woman from PNG and his family is lovely-- though I do not know his family well, I know him well.


John, what is an e-judge?????

who is "parried" to a woman from PNG........... :o

[solmanic]

The Dutch - YouTube

[JohnF]

John, what is an e-judge?????

OOPS, should have said "ex-judge who is Married to a PNG woman." He quit after the courts were bombed.

[DiscoMick]

Keeping a log is a good idea.
Have a look at the school's bullying policy - it should be on the website or in the school pack received on enrolment. If not, go to the school and ask for a copy.
Sound out the child to find out how serious you think this really is - is it minor or major?
Then ask for a meeting with the principal, explain and ask the principal for a statement of what steps will be taken and when. Follow up on those steps.
Assume the school really does want to deal with this. Act accordingly.
Bullying is always unacceptable.


Sent from my D1 using overweight hamsters.

[NavyDiver]

Racism is happily back front and centre despite a spin doctor view "we should be proud"??? Honestly think anything less than saying sorry and issues will be fixed and offenders will be rehabilitated is rather pathetic. Eddie everywhere spin ( I had Dalmatians and barrack for the black and white team)

"Friday December 11, 2020. It loomed as a landmark day in AFL history.

The board members of the Collingwood Football Club met and took possession of Do Better, an independent review of the club's responses to incidents of racism and cultural safety in the workplace.
For Collingwood, it was a day of reckoning that had been decades in the making, but it was triggered only in recent years, thanks to 2010 premiership star Héritier Lumumba making public his experiences of racism.
From the outset, the club had been clear: The report would be made public, the Pies had entered a new phase of transparency and anti-racism, they were bravely subjecting themselves to an honest and unflinching appraisal of their culture and people.
And yet, for seven weeks … nothing. Barely a peep. First there were denials that it even existed, then denials that Eddie McGuire's resignation of the club presidency on December 14 (https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-12-18/afl-collingwood-eddie-mcguire-picked-the-right-time-to-step-down/12994608) related in any way to what professors Larissa Behrendt and Lindon Coombes had written."

Calling out racism not hiding or allowing others to is fine with me. Spin like Eddies is not helpful. Glad he is going now.

Hope the Kids are fine.