Here's a bit of very important advice

[justinc]

If you know or are related to somebody who is a bad driver due to age/ infirmity or just plain inattentive and reckless then it is your civic and moral duty to urge them to hand in their license.

Jc

[pop058]

Great advice but not as simple as it sounds. My (now passed) FIL was a nightmare on the road and insisted on keeping his licence despite years of family effort to the contrary. One of the biggest issues was that all he needed to renew it was an eye test which he had no issues with.

One other consideration was his perception of independence. We believe if he was forced to hand his licence in, he would have just given up on life and spent the rest of his time sitting on the couch watching TV. All we could do was to make sure someone was able to drive him where he wanted to go (mostly shopping and the RSL).

[roverrescue]

Are you and yours okay JC?

[justinc]

Yeah thanks Steve. Just discovered this morning that i am totally, totally over the pain. Had to try and focus on the root cause to gain perspective as over 30years ago i had a serious MVA caused by an elderly person who by their families admission ' shouldn't have been driving and maybe we should have insisted she hand her licence in'. Bit bloody late now.
I shan't dwell on all the ifs and what ifs but i can 100% say it was a life changing event that nearly took my life.

I'm allowed to be angry about this subject and i strongly suggest people weigh up whether or not someones indepence may be worth killing or worse maiming another road user who has to live with the results.

I cannot even begin to explain how it has impacted me personally and those around me, and sure i know there are far worse off than me and i do count myself 'lucky' however i wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Jc

[pop058]

Not disagreeing at all JC, just voicing another angle to the story. Our (Nan's really) solution was to not argue about his licence and just re-arrange his/our social schedule. We made sure we our shopping days lined up and there was always milk and bread in their house, which was probably the most common reason for him getting behind the wheel.

Misplaced car keys, another vehicle parking him in, etc. were all ways of stopping him driving. At the end of the day it was a win win situation as our efforts kept him off the road and it was finally his decision to stop driving.

[Eevo]

One other consideration was his perception of independence. We believe if he was forced to hand his licence in, he would have just given up on life and spent the rest of his time sitting on the couch watching TV.

this is the number 1 thing.

[Pedro_The_Swift]

Mate, there are LOTS of stories about car accidents where the people that come off second best decide to curl up in a ball and die.

but thats not you.

never has been you.

never will be you.

[justinc]

Not disagreeing at all JC, just voicing another angle to the story. Our (Nan's really) solution was to not argue about his licence and just re-arrange his/our social schedule. We made sure we our shopping days lined up and there was always milk and bread in their house, which was probably the most common reason for him getting behind the wheel.

Misplaced car keys, another vehicle parking him in, etc. were all ways of stopping him driving. At the end of the day it was a win win situation as our efforts kept him off the road and it was finally his decision to stop driving.

I'm just getting grumpier the more pain i get and the older i get. Had some bad news about pain relief that basically means injections and nerve blocks won't work for me. Had enough of oral meds and really fed up. I made the 'mistake' of 'reminiscing' about the original injury and just felt i had to say something about how these things can effect people.
Eevo yes it is a complex issue and i wouldn't want to push the elderly into a life of total boredom etc however if they WERE to cause a traffic accident or a fatality their twilight years would be frought with guilt.

Like i said a complex and very emotional issue.

[justinc]

Mate, there are LOTS of stories about car accidents where the people that come off second best decide to curl up in a ball and die.

but thats not you.

never has been you.

never will be you.

Thanks Pete, just feeling it today, more than usual, is all.

[alien]

Sounds like you need a break JC amongst some good folk, go get on the boat already!

[justinc]

Sounds like you need a break JC amongst some good folk, go get on the boat already!

Kyle, just opened my cabin door 3 mins ago. Feeling like the holiday is actually beginning. ☺

[Bearman]

I feel for you JC. Nothing worse than being affected for the rest of your life by someones else's actions especially if they shouldn't have been behind the wheel in the first place. I acknowledge as others have said that it is a hard decision for them to give it up and most likely it is their only way of getting around but the overriding factor that has to come into the equation is whether they are safe on the road. Some oldies are and some aren't. A lot of the time the ones who think they are safe are not and actually a problem on the road due to being slow (driving safe in their mind) and holding up the traffic. Some years ago when I did a bit of a stint with the Transport Dept as a driving examiner I had to retest a couple of oldies who had been reported to the Police by members of the public for bad driving - one of them was fine, in fact better than most drivers and the other was downright dangerous - I had no option but to take her license off her. It caused a lot of tears and grief at the time but I put it to her that she would feel worse if she hit and killed someone especially a child. Hang in there old mate - as you say, there is always someone worse off.

[trout1105]

I too was involved in a serious MVA 2 years ago, It was a high speed head on collision that took the life of my Mate and left me in hospital for 18 days with a smashed hand and arm along with broken ribs and foot.
My left arm and hand are now pretty much useless now as a result.
It was caused by an overseas tourist that wandered onto the wrong side of the road at the wrong time.
Blaming and banning Old people, tourists or simply the inexperienced drivers won't help you or myself in our recovery nor is banning them from the roads ever going to happen.
I DO know Exactly where you are coming from and when everything starts to get a bit too much for me I usually just go bush fishing for a few days/weeks and this seems to work for me.
Like Alian said "Go get the boat ready" [thumbsupbig]

[DiscoMick]

I know what you mean as I went through this with my father. Eventually just took his car keys off him. Not easy.
Loss of independence is the main issue I think.
We are about to have the same issue with the mother in law, who has Parkinson's.
Incidentally it may be possible to get the person's doctor to declare them unfit to drive.
Don't they have to sit annual driving tests in NSW from, is it 85?

[Eevo]

Blaming and banning Old people, tourists or simply the inexperienced drivers

but having bi-annual driving test might help our driving standards if implemented right.

[Hall]

My sister in law`s mum was a danger on the road. Turned out she had dementia like condition. Took some doing to get her to give up her car as she was not that old. I took one fro the team as well and got a ninety year old of the road. Thankfully it was a low speed accident and it only cost me my vehicle. Problem with aged drivers is they start to drive by habit and any change to there routine is where the accidents occur. Should be some sort of cogitative testing after 70 years old to make sure drivers are up to the mental challenges of driving.
Cheers Hall

[Pocket Rocket]

I feel for you JC.

The hardest bit is not getting sucked into the vortex of dark 'don't want to be here' type thoughts that excruciating pain tends to rouse.

I hope you can get some relief from it somehow.

Talking helps so it's good that you posted here. Beats suffering in silence.

[justinc]

Thanks everyone.

Strangely enough, just the act of typing it out and reading these responses has made me feel a lot more tolerant of the whole situation. Got a bit to do with getting on the boat tonight to Melbourne and then melrose road trip too i guess. A change in environmental stresses is a big help☺.
And Trout1105 what a terrible situation you have had to endure. Keep YOUR chin up too☺

I'm 100% certain that a 10 day break from work and the drive to Melrose and meeting some of you lot who so far have only been names to me will be a huge help!☺

Thankyou all.

JC

[Vern]

I know what you need to do JC! And how is that coming along?😉

[Vern]

My mum (70 years young) has handed her keys in for now! With the chemo she is on she has constant pins and needles in her feet and doesn't trust herself behind the wheel. Lucky for her though this will subside in a year or so and they can travel once again.

[LandyAndy]

After Deb had her stroke,she dearly wanted to drive again.
It took quite a few tense arguments but reality finally sunk in.She recently didn't renew her drivers licence.Hasnt driven since the stroke,I don't believe she can think quickly enough when needed to.
Andrew

[Eevo]

the system is funny.
i know a bloke in his 70's who had a stroke. they took away his MR licence and give him a LR licence instead. madness.

[BigJon]

Only a few more sleeps JC, then you can meet me in person. I promise to give you a big hug and make it all better! (everything will seem better if I am not hugging you!).

[pop058]

Only a few more sleeps JC, then you can meet me in person. I promise to give you a big hug and make it all better! (everything will seem better if I am not hugging you!).

:rulez: [biggrin]

[blitz]

hey Justin
im hearing you, after pushing myself for 29 year after my accident now I can't work, had to close my business, lost my house because I couldn't meet repayments, too much stress for relationship and now I have no alternative than to go bankrupt and an operation that would be rather life changing the insurance company have said no to. All because a trucks indicators didn't work.

im doing my best not to let it get to me but my goodness it can be bloody hard at times

take care

Blythe

[Pedro_The_Swift]

Only a few more sleeps JC, then you can meet me in person. I promise to give you a big hug and make it all better! (everything will seem better if I am not hugging you!).


:rulez:[biggrin]

[scarry]

I chef at one of the sites we work at had a history of seizures.

I didn't know of this until after the incident,and still don't know whether he had a license or not.

He had a seizure driving home and hit another vehicle,driven by an off duty police woman,she had just picked her two children.

One didn't survive the accident,the other was very badly injured.

The chef got 5yrs jail.

Doesn't really help the innocent people that had their lives changed for ever,but i suppose it is what he deserved.

[BigBlackDog]

Hi Justin, sorry to hear you are feeling the pain.
i followed a guy through Kingston months ago who just put of site of me plowed through the roundabout outside my kids school. Knocked down a quite big sign. I didn't get his rego cause too far away but I went back down to have a look after picking up my boy, got his rego before he drove off. I asked he other people standing there, including 2 council workers, if anyone had called the cops, no one even had thought too! I said I would because I had seem him do some other vague things like almost drive off a straight bit of the highway. The police lady said they'd give him a visit, sad when people get to that point in life but it sure as anything is NOT worth risking anyone else's life so they can have 'independence'. There are other ways to get around.

Rod

[DiscoMick]

The 85 year old father in law just had his compulsory driving test and passed easily, so he's happy.