Wish me luck, please..

[Tins]

Sorry to post this here, but I feel that I am among friends in a way, here. I have spent the last Twelve months becoming a more and more full time carer for my mum, who is 99. I in no way resent this, but has become harder and harder to do. I have been fighting with bureaucrats over her care, seems that a legally blind, deaf, urinary incontinent woman who cannot get out of bed is a low priority to our Aged Care people. Meanwhile, the headlines are dominated by SSM, Energy and Citizenship. Is anyone governing this country?

OK, that might fall foul of the Mods, but I hope it doesn't, as it is NOT political, and should not be relegated to CA. It is a statement on society, if in fact we have one any more.

Yesterday, I took my wife of 25 years for a scan, for a condition that has been scaring me for only a week, but it IS scary. We went from a CAT scan locally to the ED of Maroondah Hospital in about 30 minutes, and she is still there. I have no way of knowing if I am ever going to bring her home. I hope that I do. We never had plans, we came together a bit late and broken for that, other than to grow old(er) together. We have great kids ( youngest is 32, so maybe not "kids" ), none together. But, we all love each other, and are a family.

I am posting this in hope: my personal hope is obvious, but I hope that others realise their mortality and get on with life. I didn't, and now it may be too late. No, I'll rephrase that: I didn't ever do what I really wanted, and neither did Jan. She is a mother of three wonderful people, has loved and is content. I brought less to the relationship, and have regrets.

Make the most of your time, folks, it won't last as long as you think.

Once again, I am sorry. It has been emotional, but I am going to post this before I chicken out.

[Disco Muppet]

Best of luck mate, and I hope your wife comes out the other side unscathed. Don't forget, we're all just a keyboard away if you need to talk

[Tins]

Best of luck mate, and I hope your wife comes out the other side unscathed. Don't forget, we're all just a keyboard away if you need to talk

Thanks for reading my ramble, Muppet, and double thanks for your thoughts. It' sa little lonely here ATM.

[Bytemrk]

Hey John,

You are right.... you are among friends. If you need a chat flick me a PM with your number....

Hope things turn out Ok.... times like this the human brain has a nasty habit of coming up with worst case scenarios......well I know mine does.

Hopefully the wizards at Maroondah will find things aren't as grim as you think....

Hang in there mate...

[Pedro_The_Swift]

Life is short.
Nobody knows that better than a son or daughter with sick Parent.
I hope your wife comes home,,,

[Wraithe]

Yes John, you can be a chicken but you are not alone in that regard..

We all fear different things...

I got asked to look after a friend when I stopped working early last year... None of us knew he was in the late stages of Alzheimers, so by November last yr, I could no longer cope with him...

He is the last of his generation in his family, now I am putting up with the gold diggers causing grief... At the same time as finding out that I am lucky to have lived past 25 and now into my 50's, i am still going...

Talking about chicken, if it was not for my kids(and grandchildren) I would have taken a one way ticket, knowing what was in store for my future now...

But hey, no regrets.. We all passed up opportunites, no point crying over them... Just enjoy every minute from now on, if you can make plans then do so, if you never complete those plans, oh well you tried, thats what counts now...

Chin up and if you need a private conversation so you can swear and get things off your chest, your more than welcome to chat with me...

All the best to you and yours...

[V8Ian]

You've got my number, John, anytime mate. My thoughts are with you and Jan, all the best.

[Disco Muppet]

There's always someone listening mate

[Tins]

Funny thing about this place.. I have to balance so many things in the day to day, I really only have the family to bounce off, and, as most of you will know, that only leads to more bouncing, so I thank you all. Sometimes close is too close, and sometimes the distance we have becomes close enough. Good folk, all of you. I thank you.

Yes, Ian and Mark, a talk may be in the offing, but not now. Right now I need to stop drinking and get some sleep so thay I can be of some use tomorrow, but I am so wired I dunno if I can.

However, unlike Fakebook, I knew that I had real friends here. ................ If she comes home on Thursday with a clean slate, don't hate me, OK?

[cuppabillytea]

I wish you all the best of luck John. Hope Jan proves it was nothing to worry about.
All the very best.

[Bytemrk]

John... if she comes home on Thursday with a clean slate... I'll have a beer for the two of you [biggrin]

Glad you posted..... chat soon.

[cuppabillytea]

X2 or three.

[V8Ian]

We won't hate you John, we'll be as happy as you if Jan comes home on Thursday with a clean slate.

[jspyle]

Good luck sport. Keep us informed.

[Tins]

Hey John,

You are right.... you are among friends. If you need a chat flick me a PM with your number....

Hope things turn out Ok.... times like this the human brain has a nasty habit of coming up with worst case scenarios......well I know mine does.

Hopefully the wizards at Maroondah will find things aren't as grim as you think....

Hang in there mate...

I don't want to think about worst case scenarios, Mark, but of course that is exactly what I'm doing. Funny, I have been accepting of the WCS regarding mum; who wouldn't be, given her age, but it is still a huge cost emotionally, as I made the choice to keep her at home, and stand by it. BUT, four weeks ago Jan went, courtesy of her ( our ) daughter, to Scotland for ten days, in rude health. She came home Friday week ago. And now this. What happened?

[Tins]

We won't hate you John, we'll be as happy as you if Jan comes home on Thursday with a clean slate.

Can I bring her home in a Scania?? Sorry, out of good jokes Ian. Not my best day. I'll call you when I can, I think you are still blocked.......

[V8Ian]

Can I bring her home in a Scania?? Sorry, out of good jokes Ian. Not my best day. I'll call you when I can, I think you are still blocked.......
Just bring her home mate, you can use a J..J..Jeep if that blows her frock up. [biggrin]

[Tins]

I am going to try and sleep now, but I cannot go without saying this: People seem to live their lives on something called "Social Media" . Now, that term could be used to describe AULRO. It is a medium, and it is social. Fortunately, AULRO is populated by people. Of all the people who have commented on my post at this time, the only one I have met in the flesh is Bytemrk. Take a bow, Mark. But, somehow I feel close to so many of you. I would do anything to help you, as some have done tonight to help me. I thank you, and I won't forget.


I hope to post good news in the coming days. But don't be surprised if I am quiet again. Regardless of what happens with Jan, Mum is still here!

[rangieman]

Chin up mate we are all ears and shoulders[wink11]
My thoughts are with you.

[rar110]

Good luck to you John.
Life is short no matter how many years it is. The breaker said something like live every day like it’s your last cause one day you’re sure to be right.
Easier said than done.

[Tins]

Chin up mate we are all ears and shoulders[wink11]
My thoughts are with you.

Not sure I want manual ears and shoulders, Chris.

Sorry, you can see that even my jokes are lame ATM. I appreciate your thoughts, both of you.

I really need to put the whisky away and get on, or tomorrow is going to be hell. Goodnight, Chris, thanks for the thoughts.

[SBD4]

John, sorry to read of the difficulties you are having, one thing is for sure, you never have to apologise for reaching out. That's what your mates want you to do when you are going through tough times.

Crazy thing is, I just had dinner tonight with a very old friend who I haven't seen for 7 years or so. Over that seven years I had tried reach out to him to try and get in touch without success until about 6 months ago. It's taken until tonight to finally catch up with (with much hounding). I am just stunned at what he has been through in that time. Any one of the many things would turn anyone's life upside down so he's really been through the ringer - turned a man who was well on top of his game into a broken wreck. Needless to say we spent many hours talking. Anyway, the reason I tell this story is to point out that he chose to deal with it all on his own, whether because of embarrassment or stoicism or other, it has caused him a great deal of suffering and loneliness. His journey was much the more difficult for it - it just kills me that I was not there for my mate when he most needed me.

Whatever happens keep reaching out, any one of us would gladly lend a sympathetic ear for you off load (or anything else you might need).

All my best wishes to you and Jan for the best possible outcome.

[Tins]

John, sorry to read of the difficulties you are having, one thing is for sure, you never have to apologise for reaching out. That's what your mates want you to do when you are going through tough times.

Crazy thing is, I just had dinner tonight with a very old friend who I haven't seen for 7 years or so. Over that seven years I had tried reach out to him to try and get in touch without success until about 6 months ago. It's taken until tonight to finally catch up with (with much hounding). I am just stunned at what he has been through in that time. Any one of the many things would turn anyone's life upside down so he's really been through the ringer - turned a man who was well on top of his game into a broken wreck. Needless to say we spent many hours talking. Anyway, the reason I tell this story is to point out that he chose to deal with it all on his own, whether because of embarrassment or stoicism or other, it has caused him a great deal of suffering and loneliness. His journey was much the more difficult for it - it just kills me that I was not there for my mate when he most needed me.

Whatever happens keep reaching out, any one of us would gladly lend a sympathetic ear for you off load (or anything else you might need).

All my best wishes to you and Jan for the best possible outcome.

I thank you so much for your post. It is indeed why I reached out on this forum. I feel, rightly or wrongly, that I have a connection here. I am not interested in "likes"

Your story is a true example of the disconnect that many of us experience. Not in my case this time, but I have to say that there have been serious withdrawal from FB issues for the younger gen to deal wth. Not sure we've jumped those hurdles yet, and it's their MOTHER they are dealing with. I am not for ONE second saying that they don't care, but thry have learned not to express. THAT I hate. One less whisky and that might make sense. Sorry.

[Milton477]

Good luck mate, heaven knows you need it.

[Tins]

Thanks folks. News maybe tomorrow, good or bad.

Youngsters, live it...

I'll never forget AULRO. Who needs FakeFriends?

[rocmic]

John,
I hope everything goes well for you and Jan. I know what you are going through and it can be horrible, especially the feelings of helpless ness and loneliness. I know what you mean about the forum, the people on here seem to have more than just a shared interest in a particular marque, they show a great degree of care and humanity time and again.
If you would like to talk albeit with a stranger then please PM me for my number.
Again, I hope all goes well.
Cheers
Mike

[DiscoMick]

Very sorry to hear about this situation. Reaching out is absolutely the right thing to do, I can say from experience. Focus on the positives, deal with the negatives. Prayer is a therapeutic conversation. PM me any time you need to chat.

[Tote]

Hi, reading this and thinking of you this morning. Wishing you the best outcome on both fronts and remember that with the benefit of distance things generally sort themselves out. The best policy is to learn from the hard times and work on changing those regrets that you mentioned above into positive experiences and happy memories.

All the best,

Tote

[strangy]

Hope the day brings brighter news for you John.
So many things to be shared and talked about.
Know that others have been there and all of us will be there in one way or another.
A shoulder to lean on or cry on can make such a difference and if those shoulders need to carry you, then let them take the weight.

[Chops]

Sorry to hear of your situation John.
As others have said, we're only a PM/phone call away,, you know the drill.
Here's hoping its good news for Jan in the coming days.

Cheers, Marcus.

[Gordie]

Like the lyric in a song, I can't remember which..."life is what happens while you are busy making other plans",.... don't we know it, the older we get. All the best, hope everything goes ok.

[Tins]

Like the lyric in a song, I can't remember which..."life is what happens while you are busy making other plans",.... don't we know it, the older we get. All the best, hope everything goes ok.

Beautiful Boy, John Lennon.

[VladTepes]

John, I hope things work out well.

There's not much I can say that hasn't been said by numerous others here.

I am on numerous forums and there are two where I feel that there are real 'friends' there, despite never having met most of them. AULRO is certainly one such forum!

Thoughts are with you.

[tact]

Best wishes John, hoping it all works out for you and mrs. Kudos to you for your bravery in reaching out!! Good Man!

[Bigbjorn]

I asked a Spoecialist Aged Care Director of Nursing for any advice she could give you. Here is her reply.


Uhmmm with the gentleman and caring for his mother.
Is he linked in with Carers Australia?
They will give him support IE in home and residential respite funding, recreational activities for him

Has he applied for a Consumer Directed Care Package?
Application through the Aged Care site
This will provide him with funding and Case management to access services, ACAS will make a determination of what level...for his mother be a level 4.

Is he receiving any services through his local council ie HACC services...they provide personal Care, home help, MOW
and home maintenance at a subsidised cost based on his mother's income.

He has been caring for mum for sometime, carers stress is well known and if he links into the above-mentioned services especially carers Australia..he will get some assistance .

He must apply for cdc package through the Aged Care site ..the case management will assist him

Hope this helps


Second e-mail from my nursing friend.

also add he is eligible for carers allowance even of he should be working, if not working, carers pension and allowance.

His mother will not be removed from the home unless she agrees, there is evidence of abuse or it is for respite purposes.
The more be is seen to be coping with existing services insitu...nothing will be done.
He needs to say HE needs respite.

[onebob]

I’ve been where you are at now - you will come through this cobber

Cheers - onebob

[akula]

I thank you so much for your post. It is indeed why I reached out on this forum. I feel, rightly or wrongly, that I have a connection here. I am not interested in "likes"

Your story is a true example of the disconnect that many of us experience. Not in my case this time, but I have to say that there have been serious withdrawal from FB issues for the younger gen to deal wth. Not sure we've jumped those hurdles yet, and it's their MOTHER they are dealing with. I am not for ONE second saying that they don't care, but thry have learned not to express. THAT I hate. One less whisky and that might make sense. Sorry.

As others have very well said, you have made the right choice to reach out to others. Keep it up! It is important that you share the burden of the situation you find yourself in with others. It will greatly assist you in navigating and processing one of the most difficult situations that a person can experience.

With regards to the kids, if I have read you right, it may be that they are in shock and having a hard time comprehending or coping with the I assume sudden question of mortality for their mum. I was in this exact situation as her kids when I was in my 30's. For me, it was all quite horribly unreal for some time as I clung to my routines (work, uni etc) as a way to cope with unexpected and awful news. It was my mum (with the benefit of life experience) who kept on reminding me that 'this is serious' who eventually coaxed me out of denial/avoidance-land and into actually being there with dad. My older sister never quite got there at all, much to her later regret.

Hang in there. I hope that you and Jan have a good outcome with this.

[Tins]

I knew this was a good place, this AULRO thing. I feel sincerity in all the posts, all the messages, and I thank you all.

Bigbjorn, I especially want to thank you for that info. I am aware of some of it, but certainly not all. I will explore it tomorrow. Mum had the doctor visit today ( A GP who does home visits and bulk bills; in the immortal words of Basil Fawlty, " we should have him stuffed". ). Her BP and heart are fine. She smoked like a chimney until I talked her into giving it up when I was 15. She has always enjoyed a wine or two, or more recently brandy, and she has the constitution of an elephant. I am considering the possibility of her outliving me. But, caring for her and being on call is a 24/7 proposition, which means full time work is out of the question at present, which of course adds financial pressure into the mix.

And, now there is Jan.

Folks, I know that my stuff is easy compared to things faced by others. I am truly grateful, however, to be able to share. I cannot burden her kids, or mine, with this, as they all have to deal with it as well. But, apart from one daughter, they all have families that need to keep going no matter what. Here, in my house that is far to big for us now, it gets lonely at night. This place, AULRO, is good for when that happens, so, again, I thank you all.

[Tins]

As others have very well said, you have made the right choice to reach out to others. Keep it up! It is important that you share the burden of the situation you find yourself in with others. It will greatly assist you in navigating and processing one of the most difficult situations that a person can experience.

With regards to the kids, if I have read you right, it may be that they are in shock and having a hard time comprehending or coping with the I assume sudden question of mortality for their mum. I was in this exact situation as her kids when I was in my 30's. For me, it was all quite horribly unreal for some time as I clung to my routines (work, uni etc) as a way to cope with unexpected and awful news. It was my mum (with the benefit of life experience) who kept on reminding me that 'this is serious' who eventually coaxed me out of denial/avoidance-land and into actually being there with dad. My older sister never quite got there at all, much to her later regret.

Hang in there. I hope that you and Jan have a good outcome with this.

You are right, her kids are in total shock. Jan always seemed eternal in some way. Now, I have to be a better person than I have ever managed to be, in order to help them, and it ain't easy. Still, there is always tomorrow. Sure, tomorrow brings new tests, new procedures, but where there's life, there's hope. Right?

[Pedro_The_Swift]

Right.[thumbsupbig]

[V8Ian]

Very right John. You have many prepared to support you here, for what it's worth. I wish we could do more.

[Tins]

Very right John. You have many prepared to support you here, for what it's worth. I wish we could do more.

We got Kenley to Canada, Ian. That'll do for now. But thank you for the thoughts.

[Ean Austral]

Gday JOHN,

wishing you and Jan a good outcome and hopefully you have her back home soon. I hope that you sort out more help with your mum.

best wishes to you all.

cheers Ean

[NavyDiver]

Sorry to post this here, but I feel that I am among friends in a way, here. I have spent the last Twelve months becoming a more and more full time carer for my mum, who is 99. I in no way resent this, but has become harder and harder to do. I have been fighting with bureaucrats over her care, seems that a legally blind, deaf, urinary incontinent woman who cannot get out of bed is a low priority to our Aged Care people. Meanwhile, the headlines are dominated by SSM, Energy and Citizenship. Is anyone governing this country?

OK, that might fall foul of the Mods, but I hope it doesn't, as it is NOT political, and should not be relegated to CA. It is a statement on society, if in fact we have one any more.

Yesterday, I took my wife of 25 years for a scan, for a condition that has been scaring me for only a week, but it IS scary. We went from a CAT scan locally to the ED of Maroondah Hospital in about 30 minutes, and she is still there. I have no way of knowing if I am ever going to bring her home. I hope that I do. We never had plans, we came together a bit late and broken for that, other than to grow old(er) together. We have great kids ( youngest is 32, so maybe not "kids" ), none together. But, we all love each other, and are a family.

I am posting this in hope: my personal hope is obvious, but I hope that others realise their mortality and get on with life. I didn't, and now it may be too late. No, I'll rephrase that: I didn't ever do what I really wanted, and neither did Jan. She is a mother of three wonderful people, has loved and is content. I brought less to the relationship, and have regrets.

Make the most of your time, folks, it won't last as long as you think.

Once again, I am sorry. It has been emotional, but I am going to post this before I chicken out.

Cheers mate. no need to appologise. Wishing your other half and you the best. Have you asked you mums Dr of a ACAS assesment? It might have a different name in some states but can mobilise state based support services. Edit- Vic based State care packages are a significant!!! help I will PM you soon with details. My sister does this for elderly in Central Vic. You do need to know how to engage the system. Not all GPs know about it in Vic.

[akula]

You are right, her kids are in total shock. Jan always seemed eternal in some way. Now, I have to be a better person than I have ever managed to be, in order to help them, and it ain't easy. Still, there is always tomorrow. Sure, tomorrow brings new tests, new procedures, but where there's life, there's hope. Right?

Right. Hold on to hope and keep doing the great job that you are doing with the support of your friends and family.

[Markf]

For what it's worth I hope that everything all works out for the better. I only have a couple of small snippets.

An old mate in his late nineties told me YEARS ago (about 50 of em in fact) to only worry about the things that you can control and let those best placed worry about the rest. For me when things seem to be going pear shaped (at a couple of stages REALLY pear shaped) that piece of advice always comes to me and if acted on the pear shapedness becomes as if by magic a lot easier to deal with.

The other snippet is. If you hold any sort of health care card or are receiving any sort of benefit from Centrelink there are some pretty good social workers available if you go to Centrelink and explain your circumstances and ask to see one.

[Tins]

Cheers mate. no need to appologise. Wishing your other half and you the best. Have you asked you mums Dr of a ACAS assesment? It might have a different name in some states but can mobilise state based support services. Edit- Vic based State care packages are a significant!!! help I will PM you soon with details. My sister does this for elderly in Central Vic. You do need to know how to engage the system. Not all GPs know about it in Vic.

ND, mum was assessed by ACAS as level 4, three years ago. She received confirmation of a level 2 package three months ago. I am seriously beginning to believe that the "Lucky Country" thing was BS. Well, it is now. Dad lived to 94, mum is 99. They paid good taxes all their lives, and this is how they are rewarded. It's despicable. My own fiscal stupidity means that I can't bail her out.

[BathurstTom]

Hi John, thank you for posting. Not enough of us men are brave enough to reach out. I hope that Jan is going to be ok and that you get a lot longer to share each others lives. Chin up!

You, Jan and your mother are in my prayers.

Tom

[Tins]

Hi John, thank you for posting. Not enough of us men are brave enough to reach out. I hope that Jan is going to be ok and that you get a lot longer to share each others lives. Chin up!

You, Jan and your mother are in my prayers.

Tom.

Thanks, Tom. I see that you have been on this place for around 5 years, and have only posted about 100 times a year. With what you posted today in response to my post, please can we hear more from you?

Maybe you are busy and all that. Never mind, Tom, thank you. I'm glad I reached you. And I am glad for your response.


Funny, I am always encouraging people to join in this place. Now, the reason for doing so has become obvious, at least to me. FB has friends. Here, we have mates.

[DiscoMick]

As others have said:
Carers allowance through Centrelink
Meals and house cleaning, probably connect through local council
They can help a lot.

[Erik68]

All the best, my wife and I have just won our own three and a half year battle with center link for the disability pension. So we no longer have to run around for job interviews and center link appointments, spending a day or two trying to ease her pain and mental issues with feeling useless.
So I hope everything works out for you and you can get help with your Mum so you can spend time with the wife.

[350RRC]

John, the care issue will get sorted, especially with all the help offered by the erudite members who've responded.

I wish you and your wife all the best with her problem!

take care, DL

[Ausfree]

John, you certainly have a load to carry there. Isn't it strange how some people can breeze through life without any major troubles and other people are confronted with one hurdle after another to climb over. Yes, I agree with you about the direction this country is going, but my thoughts are not for this Thread. Keep going mate, all the best and I know things will look up.

[jonesfam]

John
Just read this, nothing I can really add to what's been said except
You have our best wishes & hope for a good outcome.
Jonesfam

[rangieman]

Here`s hoping No New`s is Good News.

[DeeJay]

Fingers crossed for the best outcome John.
Life goes on. my dad always said that & it really is deep & meaning in intent.
David

[Tins]

So, who's had liver cancer?

[V8Ian]

I don't even know anybody who's had it, but I'm hoping for the best on Jan's behalf.

[incisor]

Matt Cook (aka fenianeel) is fighting it at the moment i believe

thoughts are with You and yours John...

[V8Ian]

Reinstated at John's request.

[Ausfree]

Hope everything is OK, good luck John.

[Tins]

We had a little fright today and are back at ( another) hospital. I believe that tomorrow is news day, so here’s hoping.

I just wanted to thank you all again for your support. I will save comments about the raffle until it is drawn, except to say that I am humbled.

John

[LRT]

Hoping you recieve a good report John.

My thoughts & prayers for you & your family in this uncertain time.

[V8Ian]

You and Jan will be in my thoughts today, John.

[Tins]

Thanks guys. Jan is back in hospital today, after 7 hours in the ED. The new computer system crashed, so every time we spoke to someone we had to go through everything again, which was fun. More tests today, beats me why, she's had so many. Hope you guys all have your Mediscare levies up to date. This must be costing a fortune, not that I care.

[Tins]

OK. News just in, well, a few hours ago... I have weeks, at best months, to say goodbye to my life partner.. It is less than two months since I bid her farewell on her trip to Scotland with her daughter, and now this.

I am probably going to be gone for a bit, while I cope with the news. I thank everyone who has supported me. I thank AULRO.

Tom, Grey Ghost, has a sign on his 101 truck. Look hard at it. I thought Jan and I were forever. We weren't.

This thread has served a particular purpose. It has been worthwhile. I doubt I will contribute to it from now, but maybe it's worth something.

Goodnight.

[V8Ian]

You know you can phone me, John.

[rocmic]

John,
as Ian said. Try to make the most of the time you have left. I know it sounds trite, but some of my best memories of my beautiful Rocio are from those last few months. Take care and remember to look after yourself and the rest of the family.

[rangieman]

Word`s can not explain ,
But our thoughts are with you mate.

[donh54]

Best wishes for the times ahead, mate.

[justinc]

John, my utmost best wishes to you. So sad to hear this and it seems so futile from A computer keyboard to try and express what i and many others want to say. Stay strong and we're thinking of you and your family.
J

[Bearman]

Same here John. Our thoughts are with you and Jan and we at AULRO are here to fall back on if we can help with anything.

[Ausfree]

Yes John, I like the others here are thinking of you and Jan. Make the most of the precious times ahead mate.:(

[LRT]

Oh John how shattering for you - my condolences to you and your family.

I know what its like as my grandmother was given 3 days to 3 months to live and now my mum is currently having treatment for a head tumour - you will cherish every moment.

Regards,
Caleb

[Tins]

Oh John how shattering for you - my condolences to you and your family.

I know what its like as my grandmother was given 3 days to 3 months to live and now my mum is currently having treatment for a head tumour - you will cherish every moment.

Regards,
Caleb

Caleb, here is a site I found helpful when my sister was diagnosed with a brain tumour. I posted there a few times. Maybe you'll find it of use.

Brain Tumour Survivor • View forum - Personal stories (http://btsurvivor.com/bb/viewforum.php?f=7)

[LRT]

Many thanks John - I'll have a look. Mum's been given 15 years at this stage but things change overnight as you know.

[Tins]

Many thanks John - I'll have a look. Mum's been given 15 years at this stage but things change overnight as you know.

My sister was given three months. She got six years. So, yeah...

[Tote]

There's nothing I can post here that hasn't been said. Suffice to say that I'm thinking of you and wish the best for you and your loved ones.

Regards

Tote

[strangy]

Sorry John.
Similar but different with my Mum and mate and so on...
My thoughts and prayers for you and family.

Leave nothing unsaid- let her know how much she means and enriches your world.
Every wonderful moment that we so often just “think”- let it be said.

Al the best and see you whenever you feel you need to.

[Homestar]

So sorry to hear mate, not much else I can say...[bigsad]

[67hardtop]

I can only echo what has already been said.

All the best,

Rodney

[Disco Muppet]

As above, terribly sorry to hear that news.
We’re always here if you need us mate

[BigBlackDog]

John, although I don't know you your story has touched me.
Your words at the beginning about family and the roles of social media, the political agenda being persued resonate with me. There are so many people bad situations thst need help, support, guidance.
John, dont put yourself down. We all make mistakes, I have made some really bad ones and I understand when you say it is lonely. But, what your have been doing for your mum is nothing short of heroic, even if you dont feel that. And I know that you will pour your generosity to your Jan in the time you have together.
Remember to be kind to yourself, you are doing everything you can.
My wife and I will pray for you and your family.

Good luck

Rod

[DiscoMick]

So sad to hear this. No words can make it right. Cherish the time you have and hang onto the good memories.

[Gordie]

Don't personally know you John, but am aware of the pain of loss. Thoughts are with you brother.

[Bytemrk]

John,

So sad to read your news....

I have a horrible habit of being an optimist, I always try to find something good, no matter how crap life feels.

It's never going to make it right.... or make it seem fair, but the one positive I can see in your terrible news, it seems like a good thing Jan was able to take that trip with her daughter....

Make the most of your time.... focus on the present rather than the future....

I can't even start to understand how you must be feeling, but we are here when you need us ... [bigsad]

[Grumbles]

An absolute tragedy. Wishing you well.

[Tins]

Update. MyAgedCare came through today with a higher level of care for Mum, which is a huge relief.

I brought Jan home today from hospital. Now, we need to live. Time's a'wasting.

I want to thank you all for listening, and for your support. It has been a great help, and I would encourage anyone who has personal issues or traumas to speak out. You will find that you are among friends.

Could a moderator please close this thread?

[Tins]

At 9:45 PM, yesterday, 16/01/2018, my lovely soul mate, Jan, passed away in my arms.

I want to thank everyone for their support.

John.

[Ean Austral]

At 9:45 PM, yesterday, 16/01/2018, my lovely soul mate, Jan, passed away in my arms.

I want to thank everyone for their support.

John.

Very sorry for your loss John.

Rest in peace Jan.

Cheers Ean

[LRT]

My condolences to you and your family at this difficult time John.

Kind regards,
Caleb

[67hardtop]

So sorry for you're loss John. My thoughts are with you in this difficult time. At least Jan is at peace now

Rod

[grey_ghost]

My condolences to you and your family at this difficult time John.

Tom & Julia

[ozscott]

My condolences John. There are no words for this. Oz

[Homestar]

Very sorry to hear John, my condolences.

[donh54]

Our thoughts are with you as well, John. I know everyone here is ready and willing to help in any way we can. All the best, Mate.

[Bytemrk]

So sorry to hear John, my thoughts are with you and the rest of the family.

You know my number - if you need anything , please call.

[Roverlord off road spares]

John, very saddened by the news mate, our thoughts are with you, condolences to you and your family.
Love Mario & Heather

[justinc]

No words i can think of. Thinking of you at this time John.

J.

[SPROVER]

Sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[V8Ian]

Sorry to hear John, remember the good times and enjoy the memories.
I have no words that will ease your journey at this sad time.
I'll be home any time after five if you want to phone.

[Chops]

Sorry to hear John,,

Leeanne and myself are thinking of you, take care, and if you need anything, get in touch mate.

[DiscoMick]

So sorry about this news mate. Words can't do much, but know you really are in my prayers.

I recommend you have a think about grief counselling. At the least, do some reading about the stages of grief. You will experience them all, I expect.

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kubler Ross & David Kessler (https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/)

[Ausfree]

John, the pain of the loss of a loved one is unbearable, in 1974 I was 28 years old and my late wife was 27, she collapsed in my arms with a massive asthma attack and died in the ICU of the local hospital several days later. John.........................the pain and gut wrenching feeling is the worst sensation you can have, I have never gotten over it after all these years even though I have remarried (happily I might add, but that is a different story) and I REALLY know what you are going through. My thoughts are with you at this dreadful time and hope you have the strength to carry on with life.[bigsad] RIP Jan, you are now at peace!!!!!

[Tote]

Deepest condolences mate, so very sorry

Regards,
Tote

[loanrangie]

So sorry to hear mate, our condolences to you and your family.

[Saitch]

My condolences, John.

Steve

[Redback]

Sorry to hear John, keep strong and my condolences to you, family and close friends.

[tact]

Sad news, John. "Condolences" just doesn't cut it. Thanks for sharing - Your journey, even the very little of it shared here, has touched me deeply. Privileged.

[SBD4]

John, words will fail to ease the deep sorrow and hurt you must be experiencing. Still, you have my most sincere condolences and perhaps the only good thing to come of Jans passing is that she is no longer suffering. Although incredibly sad and distressing, it is truly touching and inspiring to witness the bravery and stoicism shown by the ones we love in their hour of reckoning. I hope you and your family find peace soon so that these terrible times will fade in to the past to be replaced by the memories of happier times with her.

[Disco Muppet]

So sorry to hear of Jans passing John, I hope she is at peace and that you have all the support you need at this difficult time

[gusthedog]

Sorry for your loss John.

[cuppabillytea]

Very sorry for your loss John. I'm here if you need me.

[rar110]

Sorry to here John. But at least there was one more Christmas together.

[rangieman]

Our Deepest Condolences mate words can not describe how you feel .

Would you feel up to some Aulro moral support on the day of the service .
Im sure a few of us vic`s could make the effort for you on the day mate .
Send me a Pm if you like .

[incisor]

am deeply saddened to hear of your loss John

thoughts are with you and yours.

[87County]

Our condolences John, but words seem inadequate. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

[BathurstTom]

Pretty devastating news John. My heart goes out to you and your loved ones. You are all in my prayers. May God's peace be with you all. Here if you want to message me.

Tom.

[Grumbles]

My condolences to you.

In time you might take some comfort from the fact that at least you were with her to say goodbye....many don't get that opportunity.

[Tins]

My condolences to you.

many don't get that opportunity.

Shout that out. This stuff doesn't warn you. It doesn't wait for you to finish your call or for you to put your shopping away.

[rocmic]

So sorry John. My condolences to you and your family.
Please PM me if you feel the need to talk over the next months/years. The journey ahead is different and emotional at times.
Again my condolences
Mike

[rick130]

I'm really sorry to hear this John.

There are no words for this.

[DiscoMick]

Yep, at my work a year ago we had a tragic loss when a really lovely person was diagnosed with terminal cancer and three months later we were at her funeral. It shocked everyone.
My response was the future is unpredictable so don't delay making those important decisions, and love the ones you're with, as the song says. Money doesn't buy happiness.

[strangy]

Thoughts and payers with you John.

[Tins]

Sorry to hear John,,

Leeanne and myself are thinking of you, take care, and if you need anything, get in touch mate.

Marcus and Leeanne, Jan sent you an email to the address you gave me. Did you get it? She was very grateful for the effort you made. If you didn't get it I will re-send it. She was very upset that you didn't meet her that day. I will remember you always for what you did that day. I will get to a Wombat again one day. We can chat then.

AULRO is incredible. I love this place.

[Tins]

John, the pain of the loss of a loved one is unbearable, in 1974 I was 28 years old and my late wife was 27, she collapsed in my arms with a massive asthma attack and died in the ICU of the local hospital several days later. John.........................the pain and gut wrenching feeling is the worst sensation you can have, I have never gotten over it after all these years even though I have remarried (happily I might add, but that is a different story) and I REALLY know what you are going through. My thoughts are with you at this dreadful time and hope you have the strength to carry on with life.[bigsad] RIP Jan, you are now at peace!!!!!

I have so much to say, things that came from this post... When the dust settles I will try and respond, but don't hate me if I don't.

[bob10]

Mere words are not enough , only time will ease the grief. Even then , a smell, a sound , some small thing will bring the memories back. She will always be with you, I pray the burden of grief will not be too heavy to carry on the road ahead. Stay strong, John.

[Ausfree]

I have so much to say, things that came from this post... When the dust settles I will try and respond, but don't hate me if I don't. Yes mate, I fully understand, you will know when you are ready, it does take time..............................lots of it!!!! Take care, John.

[Chops]

Marcus and Leeanne, Jan sent you an email to the address you gave me. Did you get it? She was very grateful for the effort you made. If you didn't get it I will re-send it. She was very upset that you didn't meet her that day. I will remember you always for what you did that day. I will get to a Wombat again one day. We can chat then.

AULRO is incredible. I love this place.


All good John, it was our pleasure. We didn't think we were going to see her on the day anyway,, much more important for family first.
Yes, I did get the email thank you, lovely words too. Reminded me of words from my own parents, which didn't have the effect I was quite ready for upon reading.

We'll catch up soon John, take care.

Marcus & Leeanne.

[Tins]

It's kinda weird. Jan was NOT a LR girl. She came with me, but insisted on getting out if we crossed a creek. She hated hills, such as we get at Wombat, when we get the right leader.

She never met any of you, and yet she gets visitors from this forum. Marcus, and Leeanne, Jan was really sad that she missed you. She sent you an email, but you should have come in. That was my fault, I apologise, I was not doing so well.

Mark, she never met you either. However, she knew how much I love this forum. She was particularly astonished by how there was money raised from people she had never met. She came to understand that a LR is more than a car, it's a life. Not a life she wanted, possibly, but a life she would accept if she must.

I think she was most astonished by the love that this forum engenders. It is not about the cars. Jan was not into cars. It was about the people. There is a love here. I know, because she would have dismissed this place if there wasn't.

[Bytemrk]

Well I reckon I just worked out where I want my funeral service to be held! ( Not for a little while mind you [bighmmm]) The Rhododendron Gardens in Olinda, now called the Dandenong Ranges Botanic Gardens.

I just got back from Jan's funeral and I have to say it was beautiful... I am no fan of funerals... but the spectacular location and real celebration of a life well lived made this one different.

I never met the lady..... but I kind of wish I did now!

Thanks John, you and the family did an awesome job.

[Tins]

Thank you, Mark, for your attendance and these words. I also want to thank whoever it was at AULRO who sent flowers.

John

[Tins]

Well I reckon I just worked out where I want my funeral service to be held! ( Not for a little while mind you [bighmmm]) The Rhododendron Gardens in Olinda, now called the Dandenong Ranges Botanic Gardens.

I just got back from Jan's funeral and I have to say it was beautiful... I am no fan of funerals... but the spectacular location and real celebration of a life well lived made this one different.

I never met the lady..... but I kind of wish I did now!

Thanks John, you and the family did an awesome job.

Just to be clear. After much to and fro with Parks Victoria, who maintained a strict line about NO FUNERALS, we contacted Mist@Olinda, who said "hey, no problem". They were great, except that they took off and failed to turn on the AC. I reckon about 300 bodies ( she was a popular girl ) got the place warm. Jan had a way with stopping things from working. So, Mark, when it's your time, remember that. I can also recommend the Paradise Valley Hotel for your wake. It was always the Paradise in my day, but hey. They treated us superbly. That pub has been a part of my life, off and on, for 40 years.

Once again, I thank AULRO, and all who are here, for your patience and forbearance. There is a fair way to go. I'll pop in and annoy you for a bit longer yet.

[Tombie]

Please do continue to drop in John...

[Tins]

Please do continue to drop in John...

Thank you. Right now, this place is my sanity. It is somewhere that has few memories, but has people who get where I am, because most of you have been there, in some way.

[Hokoman]

John,

I just read this with shock and a heavy heart.
I'm very sorry for your loss, this thread makes for an extremely difficult read.
I don't know you but we might meet in March. I hope so.
All best,
Chris

[DiscoMick]

I, like many, are too far away to have been there, but know you are in the thoughts of many of us.

[Tins]

Twelve months goes so fast. I suppose I'm now a guest on here.

Life has a way of keeping on. Do what you can. It's not working for me, yet, but it will.

[DiscoMick]

Not a guest mate, a friend I hope.

[SBD4]

A tough time of year for you John. It never goes away, you just learn to live with it. No doubt you find her in the most unexpected moments, some make you smile, others not. Keep your friends and family close.

[DiscoMick]

I lost two close relatives within a month earlier this year, so I have some idea of how it feels.

[Tins]

It never goes away, you just learn to live with it. .

Dead right. I am still to get past the first year, which everyone says is the hardest. I don't know, but I'll guess they are right. I'll find out.

My advice, back then and again now, is to TALK about it. I am aware that my posts on this topic were not welcomed by all. However, this forum belongs to us all ( I'll renew my sub, Inc ). I recall pushing to fund a young woman's attempt to get her father to Canada ( 249973-lets-get-kenley-canada-36.html (https://www.aulro.com/afvb/general-chat/249973-lets-get-kenley-canada-36.html) post #4 ). Lots of us got on board with that, with a good result. It was a good thing to do.

I may be wrong, but I always looked upon this place as a kind of LR based online Men's Shed.

Every person alive has issues.

[Tins]

Not a guest mate, a friend I hope.

There have been times when I have doubted that, Mick. Nice to see that people transcend politics.

[Tins]

Re reading this thread, with all of it's sadness and maudlin themes, makes me remember just what a great place this can be. There are lots of opinionated idiots, me included, but we are basically good people.

This is a bad time for me, but I guess it can be a bad time for lots of us. I am not personally a Christian, even though I was raised as one, but Christianity has a message, and that is one of love and compassion. Nothing wrong with that in my view.

Heres a Christmas song for you all: watch (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5l1CS0Jhk90)

[Tins]

At 9:45 PM, yesterday, 16/01/2018, my lovely soul mate, Jan, passed away in my arms.

I want to thank everyone for their support.

John.

Two years tomorrow. How is that possible? it was yesterday and it was a whole lifetime ago.

Jan loved Stephen Stills. One of her faves was "Love the one you're with". Wise words for most people, because that is all you have.

Sorry to bring this up again, but there were many beautiful and salient points raised about the stupidity of men which need to be reiterated, and many wonderful comments from people who I never knew who became my friends, even though I don't talk to them anymore. I live alone now, but I remember each and every one of you. You know who you are.

[Tombie]

May tomorrow be a day of reminiscing of good times and happy memories of your time together.

Be safe John, and remember there are people here for you.

[Tins]

May tomorrow be a day of reminiscing of good times and happy memories of your time together.

Be safe John, and remember there are people here for you.

That is the plan, Mike.

I brought this up again because the message is unchanged.

Oh, and the loneliness is also unchanged. Losing people does not go away. People need reminding. Never let your loved ones go.

[Saitch]

Today, your memories are a treasure!

[67hardtop]

Continuing thoughts and condolences are with you mate. Cheers Rod

[bob10]

Recently we lost our Mother. An aggressive blood cancer. A very strong woman, she didn't want to go. The Priest instructed me , being the eldest, to tell her it was time to go. Dad was waiting for her. Not the hardest thing I've had to do, but close. Death is just part of life's journey, sometimes that's hard to believe. There is a song that helps me on occasion, by Reina Del Cid." Hold me before I'm gone forever. " Tears are optional .

https://youtu.be/nZLji1xy3Uw

[DiscoMick]

We've had some family deaths in the last two years, so I know how hard it can be and I feel for you both.
Two approaches which have helped me are:

1. It's okay to mourn, that's part of the healing process. It's good to remember your shared experiences, good and bad, and treasure them. Be grateful for your times together.

2. Enjoy life. The departed would want the best for you. Get involved. Make what you do now a tribute to the departed. Laugh. Go for it.

Hope that helps.

[Tins]

Recently we lost our Mother. An aggressive blood cancer. A very strong woman, she didn't want to go. The Priest instructed me , being the eldest, to tell her it was time to go. Dad was waiting for her. Not the hardest thing I've had to do, but close. Death is just part of life's journey, sometimes that's hard to believe. There is a song that helps me on occasion, by Reina Del Cid." Hold me before I'm gone forever. " Tears are optional .

https://youtu.be/nZLji1xy3Uw

Thanks, Bob, for the thoughts, and the song. ATM tears are NOT optional.

My condolences to you and yours. Mothers are important.

Funny, isn't it. My mother is 101 (!) and she wants to go and can't.

Death is life's only certainty. Jan faced it with such courage it was humbling. She was not afraid for herself. She was afraid for ME.

On a slightly lighter note. Mum was pronounced dead when she was 6. Obviously she was revived, but I now jokingly tell her " mum, you only die once, and you've had your turn". I'm not sure she is amused.

[Tins]

We've had some family deaths in the last two years, so I know how hard it can be and I feel for you both.
Two approaches which have helped me are:

1. It's okay to mourn, that's part of the healing process. It's good to remember your shared experiences, good and bad, and treasure them. Be grateful for your times together.

2. Enjoy life. The departed would want the best for you. Get involved. Make what you do now a tribute to the departed. Laugh. Go for it.

Hope that helps.


Thanks Mick. It's number 2 that I find difficult. Her kids ( youngest is 32 ) have , in their own grief, have cut me off, so I lost an entire family of 25 years.

The thing I most wanted to get across in this thread was how important it is NOT to be a "man " and to be wise enough to seek help. I saw grief counsellor for nearly a gar, and I am still seeing a psychologist. If I hadn't I doubt I would still be here, and that would not be fair on others. I have had four people close to me suicide and I know what that does to people left behind. Seeking help is not weak, it is strong.

Once again i find that, despite our trivial differences, people here are good and kind.

[Tins]

We've had some family deaths in the last two years, so I know how hard it can be and I feel for you both.
Two approaches which have helped me are:

1. It's okay to mourn, that's part of the healing process. It's good to remember your shared experiences, good and bad, and treasure them. Be grateful for your times together.

2. Enjoy life. The departed would want the best for you. Get involved. Make what you do now a tribute to the departed. Laugh. Go for it.

Hope that helps.


Thanks Mick. It's number 2 that I find difficult. Her kids ( youngest is 32 ) have , in their own grief, cut me off, so I lost an entire family of 25 years.

The thing I most wanted to get across in this thread was how important it is NOT to be a "man " and to be wise enough to seek help. I saw grief counsellor for nearly a year, and I am still seeing a psychologist. If I hadn't I doubt I would still be here, and that would not be fair on others. I have had four people close to me suicide and I know what that does to people left behind. Seeking help is not weak, it is strong.

Once again I find that, despite our trivial differences, people here are good and kind.

[bob10]

You're a strong man John. The Kids will come around, it takes time. Meanwhile, something to bring a smile to your face Edit. Grab a rum, click on " more " you get the words to the song. Sing along. Music is the answer.


YouTube (https://youtu.be/Q3aBTJIanDo)

[DiscoMick]

Thanks Mick. It's number 2 that I find difficult. Her kids ( youngest is 32 ) have , in their own grief, cut me off, so I lost an entire family of 25 years.

The thing I most wanted to get across in this thread was how important it is NOT to be a "man " and to be wise enough to seek help. I saw grief counsellor for nearly a year, and I am still seeing a psychologist. If I hadn't I doubt I would still be here, and that would not be fair on others. I have had four people close to me suicide and I know what that does to people left behind. Seeking help is not weak, it is strong.

Once again I find that, despite our trivial differences, people here are good and kind.Excellent you've had grief counselling, that's great. Respect.

[Tins]

Sorry to post this here, but I feel that I am among friends in a way, here. I have spent the last Twelve months becoming a more and more full time carer for my mum, who is 99. I in no way resent this, but has become harder and harder to do. I have been fighting with bureaucrats over her care, seems that a legally blind, deaf, urinary incontinent woman who cannot get out of bed is a low priority to our Aged Care people. Meanwhile, the headlines are dominated by SSM, Energy and Citizenship. Is anyone governing this country?

OK, that might fall foul of the Mods, but I hope it doesn't, as it is NOT political, and should not be relegated to CA. It is a statement on society, if in fact we have one any more.

Yesterday, I took my wife of 25 years for a scan, for a condition that has been scaring me for only a week, but it IS scary. We went from a CAT scan locally to the ED of Maroondah Hospital in about 30 minutes, and she is still there. I have no way of knowing if I am ever going to bring her home. I hope that I do. We never had plans, we came together a bit late and broken for that, other than to grow old(er) together. We have great kids ( youngest is 32, so maybe not "kids" ), none together. But, we all love each other, and are a family.

I am posting this in hope: my personal hope is obvious, but I hope that others realise their mortality and get on with life. I didn't, and now it may be too late. No, I'll rephrase that: I didn't ever do what I really wanted, and neither did Jan. She is a mother of three wonderful people, has loved and is content. I brought less to the relationship, and have regrets.

Make the most of your time, folks, it won't last as long as you think.

Once again, I am sorry. It has been emotional, but I am going to post this before I chicken out.

Astonishing. I was going to post on Saturday, 16/01/2021, as it would be 3 years, but today an ambulance took mum away to hospital. She is now 102 plus 1/2. How does it work, mum is 102 but my brother was 9?

I apologise. This thread served a purpose 3 years ago. I don't intend to hit you with it forever, but the situation with mum got me going.

Thanks for looking.

[Tins]

today an ambulance took mum away to hospital.

Sometimes letting go is harder than clinging on....

Life only gives you what it gives you. Then it takes away.

[Tins]

Given the circumstances, I just re-read the whole of this thread. Anyone who doubts the community of AULRO should have a look. I'll never forget.

Sure, it's maudlin. But so is life, in the end.

[bob10]

Given the circumstances, I just re-read the whole of this thread. Anyone who doubts the community of AULRO should have a look. I'll never forget.

Sure, it's maudlin. But so is life, in the end.

One for your Mum.

(3) Hold Me Before I'm Gone Forever - Reina del Cid - YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZLji1xy3Uw&list=PLD4X50B3_ot3PCiUhTxizdWe5DBVHIIIZ&index=66)

[67hardtop]

It's a lovely song Bob. Still wishing you the best, Tins, you'll never forget your soul mate. I've met mine but we just can't be together. Sad. I think of her every day. All the best mate.

[Tins]

Sad. I think of her every day. All the best mate.

Ain't that the truth.. All the best to you as well.

[Tins]

One for your Mum.

(3) Hold Me Before I'm Gone Forever - Reina del Cid - YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZLji1xy3Uw&list=PLD4X50B3_ot3PCiUhTxizdWe5DBVHIIIZ&index=66)

"But that old train is boarding one by one"

How does one so young understand it so well??

[bob10]

"But that old train is boarding one by one"

How does one so young understand it so well??

She is my go to when I need an escape. Can't leave you with a sad song, these girls can play a mean guitar.

Dancing in the Moonlight - King Harvest cover - YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LohPrTk98mY&list=PLD4X50B3_ot3PCiUhTxizdWe5DBVHIIIZ&index=69)

[bob10]

Just one more, can't help myself.

You Belong to Me - YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtRdV66Ppks&list=PLD4X50B3_ot3PCiUhTxizdWe5DBVHIIIZ&index=70)

[bob10]

OK, if you insist. But this is the last one. But I'll leave you with this;

May the road rise to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,
the rains fall soft upon your fields,
and until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

[An Irish Blessing.]

Butter and Eggs (cover) - Josh Turner and Toni Lindgren - YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YksSZTrTUuU&list=PLD4X50B3_ot3PCiUhTxizdWe5DBVHIIIZ&index=27)

[67hardtop]

Pinched of Facebook. Very fitting I think. https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210116/d3af76fde47b73575748fe4e3ce783f2.jpg

[Tins]

Ok, I find that once again I have to thank this place, this AULRO community. You have all been very patient and understanding of me and why I started this thread in the first place, and why I have revisited it from time to time. You are fantastic.
It was three years on Saturday. She will always be with me, but it's now time to move on. There is movement on the Disco 2 front, but if it goes then it's gone. Too many problems with that car. I won't advertise it on here. The D1 and the Series will stick around. Easy to work on, both sans ZF auto. I am hoping to find an OKA I can afford, so I can set out and see this country, without having to glance out of a B-Double at 100ks. OKAs have a VE injector pump, so I'll feel at home.
Mum is going into care, at 102 and 1/2, so I feel I have done a good job there, but it's getting close to some ME time.
The love, if I can use that word, I have received from you all is special, and I am humbled by it.
Be safe.

PS. You reckon an OKA could do Wombat?

[Tins]

It's a bit more than four years since I started this thread. When I did I saw no way out. The end. With a lot of help, especially including. some from this place, I maintained, and four! years have passed.
I'm not sure, but I think I may have been the first to open up on such a personal level on this forum. I have no regrets. The support I received was off the charts, to coin a phrase.
I come back to this, the terrible memory that it was, due to love.Because that is what I experienced, what I received from this place.
I have tried to get some sort of 'mental health" thing going here. It's not going to happen, and I understand why it won't. But there's no reason why we can't talk.
This is a tough time for me, and I've maybe had a little too much to drink... But, as I said throughout the preceding thread, people need to learn to talk..

Sorry, I was going to delete this but .........

People NEED to talk.

[I Love My Landy!]

Hi Tins. I’ve only just discovered this thread. Good man for wanting to talk about things, and top job on getting through the past four years. Edward

[Tins]

I have just re read this entire stupid bloody thread and I realised: Where the hell is ByteMrk. What about Chops? Rangieman ( and woman)? Lots of others posted here but are seen no more. I can't name them all. Chops (Marcus and Leanne) made a special journey out here to give us some Christmas cheer in 2017. Mark came to Jan's funeral. Where are these people? I drop out of here from time to time, but not for ever.

[scarry]

Lotza,Ho Hahs are another couple that have dissapeared over the years,for whatever reason.