MELBOURNE OBSESSION WITH TOILET PAPER

[Roverlord off road spares]

WHY IS IT EVERY TIME THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON IN MELB THERE'S PANIC BUYING OF TOILET PAPER?
IT'S ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU THE ****:soapbox:

[Fatso]

WHY IS IT EVERY TIME THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON IN MELB THERE'S PANIC BUYING OF TOILET PAPER?
IT'S ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU THE ****:soapbox:

Oxymoron , that's why theirs panic buying . [bigrolf]

[theelms66]

If we are all so hygienic why is this spreading? What's wrong with newspaper!

[Roverlord off road spares]

If we are all so hygienic why is this spreading? What's wrong with newspaper!
or leaves and grass lol

[RobMichelle]

Horsham has sold out to.
Only 2 bags of grated cheese left on shelf in supermarket, so cheese binds ones insides up so why the shortage of toilet paper for **** Sake.

[W&KO]

**** happens.......

[Homestar]

I did our normal weekly shop this morning and apart from dunny roll everything was in plentiful supply. Did score a 6 pack of poo tickets though but not much left. When I went past at lunch time on my way to donate plasma there were queues out the door - glad I got in before the announcement although blind freddy could have seen it coming.

[NavyDiver]

Just changed the wording on my phone system to say we have no toilet paper. 400 + calls from 40-50 year olds many of whom thought it worth arguing when told we do not have any Pzer vaccines [bigrolf] OMG panic can be fun. I am solo on the phones tonight as my usual crew are away. I wonder how long I can go before letting rip?

No sir/madam- your correct I was joking about not having any at all. You can have the fizzer vaccine you insist we have. Please park at ***&878a and i will be right there to give it to you. Please wait for me might be a little delayed as it may not arrive for several months [thumbsupbig]
https://www.candytime.com.au/media/catalog/product/cache/2/image/362x/db978388cfd007780066eaab38556cef/f/i/fizzer-strawberry-loose.png

[350RRC]

Knew it was an omen while waiting to pay for a litre of milk at the supermarket just after 7 this morning when it opened.

Woman in front of me only had one item............. the mega pack of dunny paper.

DL

[windsock]

You can have the fizzer vaccine you insist we have.
https://www.candytime.com.au/media/catalog/product/cache/2/image/362x/db978388cfd007780066eaab38556cef/f/i/fizzer-strawberry-loose.png

Need different raw materials for fizzer shots.

https://media1.tenor.com/images/1146d6deedce193fe1b32cece3235b4c/tenor.gif?itemid=20912928

[4bee]

Just changed the wording on my phone system to say we have no toilet paper. 400 + calls from 40-50 year olds many of whom thought it worth arguing when told we do not have any Pzer vaccines [bigrolf] OMG panic can be fun. I am solo on the phones tonight as my usual crew are away. I wonder how long I can go before letting rip?

No sir/madam- your correct I was joking about not having any at all. You can have the fizzer vaccine you insist we have. Please park at ***&878a and i will be right there to give it to you. Please wait for me might be a little delayed as it may not arrive for several months [thumbsupbig]
https://www.candytime.com.au/media/catalog/product/cache/2/image/362x/db978388cfd007780066eaab38556cef/f/i/fizzer-strawberry-loose.png

As Bernard Wooley (from Yes Prime Minister) would say....."Just changed the wording on my phone system to say" we have no toilet paper Today"

Sung to the tune of "Yes we have no bananas")[bigrolf]

[NavyDiver]

As Bernard Wooley (from Yes Prime Minister) would say....."Just changed the wording on my phone system to say" we have no toilet paper Today"

Sung to the tune of "Yes we have no bananas")[bigrolf]

I did hum for a bit for a most unexpected reason during the chaos tonight. My usual pathology collection driver has an occasional stand in. She is nice enough. Yesterday I could see she wanted a chat but I was flat chat. She bailed me up tonight. Apparently a esteemed German lawyer is aware the boss is lying thieving and more on PCR results. Not entirely sure what the hell she was on. I did suggest a Navy mate flat earther might me masquerading as a German Lawyer and she might need to double check the sources?

She assured me his sources are impeccable high level doctor and scientists I did ask for one of the esteemed references. They are of course secret so they do not get tossed in a secret prison. Her statement she has intuition on these topics plus left me speechlessly thrilled she chose to leave before I fell on the floor or called the CAT team. Psychiatric crises support for her or me?

To adjust your song to "[B]Yes we have bananas"

[DiscoMick]

This toilet paper obsession is a good argument for ìnstalling bum-washing toilets, which are more hygienic anyway and would save a huge amount of paper.

[BradC]

To adjust your song to "Yes we have bananas"

That sounded more like "Yes we are bananas". Never knock a good conspiracy theory when you need a laugh.

[Tins]

This toilet paper obsession is a good argument for ìnstalling bum-washing toilets, which are more hygienic anyway and would save a huge amount of paper.

The whole we're in a drought due to AGW and we have to save water thing is so yesterday. Or have we forgotten? FFS.

[NavyDiver]

The whole we're in a drought due to AGW and we have to save water thing is so yesterday. Or have we forgotten? FFS.

Water savings are needed. I wish the plumbers I called would turn up! One of my loo's is leaking a bi. The cistern into the loo not on the floor happily.

Not lazy just to busy to fix it myself over the last week. Just found two hours I did last night at work last night I cannot get back that would have given me time to fix the leak[bigrolf]

The tree fairy's might bite my bum again despite moving from 10 boxes of paper per month to sub 1 now. I spent a few hours last night making Permits to get to and from work for my staff and Doctors. Just read they are not required for people who have permits for the prior times here. Wiping my bum has a sheet or two if the dunny paper chaos really did make the highly unlikely bumaggedon :)

[Saitch]

The whole we're in a drought due to AGW and we have to save water thing is so yesterday. Or have we forgotten? FFS.

How about a non-stick, aerosol spray for the anus (did 'Aerosol cover that?) which would be left in the toilet and applied before each bowel evacuation?

"Dag Off", 'Dagex', 'ShinyRs' or something may be the go.

[4bee]

I did hum for a bit for a most unexpected reason during the chaos tonight. My usual pathology collection driver has an occasional stand in. She is nice enough. Yesterday I could see she wanted a chat but I was flat chat. She bailed me up tonight. Apparently a esteemed German lawyer is aware the boss is lying thieving and more on PCR results. Not entirely sure what the hell she was on. I did suggest a Navy mate flat earther might me masquerading as a German Lawyer and she might need to double check the sources?

She assured me his sources are impeccable high level doctor and scientists I did ask for one of the esteemed references. They are of course secret so they do not get tossed in a secret prison. Her statement she has intuition on these topics plus left me speechlessly thrilled she chose to leave before I fell on the floor or called the CAT team. Psychiatric crises support for her or me?

To adjust your song to "[B]Yes we have bananas"


JEEEZAS James, it is a game of Russian Roulette when you go to work each day. [bigrolf][bigrolf][bigrolf]



It was a shame that TELSTRA discontinued issuing Phone Directories as they were very convenient at times like this, although the use of the yellow pages made one's arris look like one was on a course of Quinine. White Pages just gave one's arris the appearance of just been through a Bush Fire.. It is the black ink you see, it smeared all over the shop, & one's arse.[bigrolf]

The Spreadsheet "News" papers were handy if torn into small (6") squares whilst sitting astride the Crapper wiling the time away & gazing out of the door & pondering life. They were as bad as the White Pages.

Both of the above mostly always hung on a 3" Flathead nail hammered into a Mortar Joint in the dunny or if you were posh & skilled with the hands, a piece of cleverly twisted fencing wire to make a holder.

It was very important to use a Flat head nail & not a Round head, as the first gust of wind through the left opened door could see all your hard graft in Mrs /Ms Jones back garden with the chooks.


Hand crumpling made them more acceptable though.


I reckon we have lost a lot of Life's Important Skills with this Covid crap.


The good olde days, eh?[bigsad]

[DiscoMick]

I suppose we could just adopt the Indian system and use our left hand. [emoji15]

Sent from my A1601 using AULRO mobile app (http://r.tapatalk.com/byo?rid=78345)

[4bee]

I suppose we could just adopt the Indian system and use our left hand. [emoji15]

Sent from my A1601 using AULRO mobile app (http://r.tapatalk.com/byo?rid=78345)


Why bother at all, just do it in one's DAKS without all the fuss & worry? Far classier to have ****ty Daks with Cycle clips at the ankles than a ****ty hand just as you were just about to shake hands with the local Mayor/Mayoress, besides, where would you wipe it?

Of course, on your Daks, so back to square 1.


NB. DECLARATION> I have not, nor have had any affiliation with DAKS Clothing Manufacturers in respect of backhanders while mentioning their goods ****ty or otherwise.[bigrolf]



o a polo-playing chum of mine, [B]DAKS always represented good, solid English quality. ... Some of the chaps you half expect to be holding a well-worn teddy bear in true Seb Flyte fashion, some of them look more like erstwhile companions of Max Beerbohm but the brand message is strong: DAKS is now very serious about design.2 Apr 2008

[4bee]

How about a non-stick, aerosol spray for the anus (did 'Aerosol cover that?) which would be left in the toilet and applied before each bowel evacuation?

"Dag Off", 'Dagex', 'ShinyRs' or something may be the go.


It just wouldn't do to get it mixed up with "Spray on Fast Setting Upholstery Glue" though or you wouldn't be going anywhere.

[Old Farang]

This toilet paper obsession is a good argument for ìnstalling bum-washing toilets, which are more hygienic anyway and would save a huge amount of paper.

Ah, but can the water supply grid stand the extra load? I dont think it is Solar powered! [biggrin]

[Arapiles]

The whole we're in a drought due to AGW and we have to save water thing is so yesterday. Or have we forgotten? FFS.

[Edit: Toto apparently claims that the water usage in a Washlet is about 5 litres a day for the average family. On the other hand, a couple of years ago Citylink were using about a million litres of mains water a day to keep the Burnley tunnel from collapsing ....]

My toilet runs on rainwater. As does everything else in the house other than the cold taps in the kitchen and bathrooms. According to Yarra Water we use just 36 litres of mains water per day for a family of 5, so just under 7 litres per person per day. So for us installing a washlet won't have the slightest effect on public water resources.

[Saitch]

[Edit: Toto apparently claims that the water usage in a Washlet is about 5 litres a day for the average family. On the other hand, a couple of years ago Citylink were using about a million litres of mains water a day to keep the Burnley tunnel from collapsing ....]

My toilet runs on rainwater. As does everything else in the house other than the cold taps in the kitchen and bathrooms. According to Yarra Water we use just 36 litres of mains water per day for a family of 5, so just under 7 litres per person per day. So for us installing a washlet won't have the slightest effect on public water resources.

You're not drinking enough water per day.

[V8Ian]

Urgent delivery of bum fodder. [bigwhistle]


https://youtu.be/1LPsHiSJmUg

[4bee]

Urgent delivery of bum fodder. [bigwhistle]


https://youtu.be/1LPsHiSJmUg


I thought this was going to be about a Flight of RAAF C-17s flying in formation over Melbourne with the rear ramp open & blokes literally shoveling rolls of Dunny paper out randomly.

Well who could blame me?

[ramblingboy42]

you've posted some stupid things 4bee

[4bee]

you've posted some stupid things 4bee

I know. It takes some effort & imagination to keep up with the throng. [bigrolf]

That is my excuse what is yours?