A card for all occasions

[fernockulated]

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........







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M y tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!








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H eard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.









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L ooking back over the years

That we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"









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C ongratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.









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H ow could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?









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I 've always wanted to have

Someone to hold,

Someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.









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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.









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A s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.









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C ongratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.









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H appy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)









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H appy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!









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W hen we were together,

You always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.









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W e have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?









++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++


I 'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.









================================================== ===


C ongratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?









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Y our friends and I wanted to do

Something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.









)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))







S o your daughter's a hooker,

And it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

[Relay]

Priceless!

[Timmo]

Nice ferno, Now just to print some of those out for the ex.......

[fernockulated]

Gday Timmo,you ole grasshopper you,wheree ya been hiding?
now ya mention it i could send a few of them of to my ex as well:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[B92 8NW]

I've filed those in the event that I need to rapidly destroy any given future relationship... and also used one as an msn name:D