stevo68
7th April 2007, 09:28 AM
Last night a part of me died when I held my best mate in my arms as he took his last breaths. It was almost as if he waited for me to get to him before he past on. The how's and why's won't bring him back, suffice to say "the escapist" in the family led him to an adventure he won't come back from. If only the latch had been on the gate for her, he would still be here, as out of the 10 times she nicked off he went maybe once. This time he was silly enough to follow her.
So there I was driving around looking for them last night, when my partner rang to say she had a call from people up the road and that they had the "escapist" and that Benzy looked like he had been hit. Worst possible feeling, as I drove up I could see him on the side of the road, not moving. I jumped out and thought he was already gone. Not till I lifted his head in my arms did he make a gasp, body arching. I felt his back, his spine was snapped, I knew he was almost gone. He tried to turn to look at me then he was gone.
Maybe Im fortunate in that as an adult I have not experienced any real loss, for sure Ive been through divorce and seperation from my children, but they were still there and are. He is gone and I have never been so devastated. I sit here now, eyes blurred, as normally he would be right next to me on the verandah. The sound of his collar and he would walk around the verandah to whereever I would be. The sound of his bark as he see's the cat ( never been a cat dog this one), just his prescence. He was also a big part of my childrens life and they are equally upset, seeing my 10,8 and 4 yr old last night sobbing only added to the scene. My partner, who sometimes found him to be a big boof head was just as upset.
Benzy came into my life after my marriage brokedown, previous to that I had to sadly put my other shepherd down, as she had a condition that couldnt be rectified. So after the breakdown, living by myself, my father took me to a breeder where my previous shepherd had come from and we got Benzy. He was named after the Merc that I used to have and "lost' through marriage etc. 10 houses we have lived in together, always my companion, always my protector, just always there through the good and the bad times. Never a dog so loyal, to others chagrin as he only really listened to me :D , a large dog that was so gentle with the children with my 2 from previous since they were 2&3 and Connor with my partner since he was born.
Im not ashamed to say that I cannot remember the last time I cried my eyes out, and still am. The worst was trying to find a spot to bury him, with 8 acres you'd reckon one would find one spot that was soft.....nope. I think that only made things worse, so under the lights of the D3, I dug until it was big enough to lay to rest my best mate. It will be something burned in my memory for years to come, I guess the first time is the hardest. I then had my last beer with him before the dirt went on.
When I have read recently and past of people who have lost their dogs, I twinge in the hope that I do not have to experience that. I had hoped if anything that he would pass on of old age, not the way he did. I love my dog and miss him already, his prescence in my life was always a comfort, something that some people can understand, others not. At least he will have something written about him, like his brothers and sisters before him, whereby one realises you can't take anything for granted and that how these animals bring something truly special to those that love them. Rest In Peace Benzy from Stephen, Sharlea, True, Ashton and Connor,
Regards
Stevo
So there I was driving around looking for them last night, when my partner rang to say she had a call from people up the road and that they had the "escapist" and that Benzy looked like he had been hit. Worst possible feeling, as I drove up I could see him on the side of the road, not moving. I jumped out and thought he was already gone. Not till I lifted his head in my arms did he make a gasp, body arching. I felt his back, his spine was snapped, I knew he was almost gone. He tried to turn to look at me then he was gone.
Maybe Im fortunate in that as an adult I have not experienced any real loss, for sure Ive been through divorce and seperation from my children, but they were still there and are. He is gone and I have never been so devastated. I sit here now, eyes blurred, as normally he would be right next to me on the verandah. The sound of his collar and he would walk around the verandah to whereever I would be. The sound of his bark as he see's the cat ( never been a cat dog this one), just his prescence. He was also a big part of my childrens life and they are equally upset, seeing my 10,8 and 4 yr old last night sobbing only added to the scene. My partner, who sometimes found him to be a big boof head was just as upset.
Benzy came into my life after my marriage brokedown, previous to that I had to sadly put my other shepherd down, as she had a condition that couldnt be rectified. So after the breakdown, living by myself, my father took me to a breeder where my previous shepherd had come from and we got Benzy. He was named after the Merc that I used to have and "lost' through marriage etc. 10 houses we have lived in together, always my companion, always my protector, just always there through the good and the bad times. Never a dog so loyal, to others chagrin as he only really listened to me :D , a large dog that was so gentle with the children with my 2 from previous since they were 2&3 and Connor with my partner since he was born.
Im not ashamed to say that I cannot remember the last time I cried my eyes out, and still am. The worst was trying to find a spot to bury him, with 8 acres you'd reckon one would find one spot that was soft.....nope. I think that only made things worse, so under the lights of the D3, I dug until it was big enough to lay to rest my best mate. It will be something burned in my memory for years to come, I guess the first time is the hardest. I then had my last beer with him before the dirt went on.
When I have read recently and past of people who have lost their dogs, I twinge in the hope that I do not have to experience that. I had hoped if anything that he would pass on of old age, not the way he did. I love my dog and miss him already, his prescence in my life was always a comfort, something that some people can understand, others not. At least he will have something written about him, like his brothers and sisters before him, whereby one realises you can't take anything for granted and that how these animals bring something truly special to those that love them. Rest In Peace Benzy from Stephen, Sharlea, True, Ashton and Connor,
Regards
Stevo