Clocks...........

[sclarke]

Proudly showing off her newly leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night, a drunk blonde led the way to her bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall.

"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the friend's asked.

"Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking clock" she drunkenly replied.

"A talking clock - seriously?"

"Yup." "Hmmm (hic)."

"How's it work?" the second friend asked, squinting at it.

"Just watch" she said.

She picked up a hammer, gave the gong an 'ear-shattering bash ' and stepped back. Her three mates stood looking at one another for a moment in astounded silence.

Suddenly, a voice from the other side of the wall screamed "For f*#k's sake you stupid b i t c h it's 3am

[grumpybastard]

lol

[Defender=1st]

hahhahah nice one mate:D

[incisor]

ROFLing....

[barney]

nice one
a blonde is sitting at home by herself trying to do a jigsaw puzzle. out of desperation, she rings her boyfriend to come over and help her. "there's so many pieces and i don't know where to start" she says. her boyfriend says, "well, there's usually a picture of it on the box, does that give you any hint?"
"yeah, there's a picture of a big rooster, but all the pieces look the same".
knowing how hard these things can be, he decides to go around there and give her a hand to shut her up.
she leads him inot the kitchen where she has the pieces strewn all over the kitchen table. "see what i mean?, where do i start?"
"well" he says, "i think the first thing we should do is put all the corn flakes back in the box"

[mcrover]

They are great, in my old flat in Noble park, the old biddy nest door use to be like that.
You could talk to her during the day and she couldnt hear a word you said but if you dropped a pin at night she would bang on the wall with her walking stick.
So being young and stupid we would just turn the TV up and up and up until she knocked on the door and then we would turn it off and open the door like we had been asleep.

[shorty943]

Year ago, serving in the Navy, a mate and I had a flat just off Kings Cross. Dear old biddy one floor up, must have loved her tea. That Bl&$y kettle whistled from sun up to sun down. Took a couple of days to hear the bloke on the top floor banging away on his drum set, we took the cue. The mate and I set up our amplifiers, and started banging out some 12 bar blues. Windows open of course, because we had to hear the drummers beat.:twisted:

Shorty.