Inapropriate movie line quotes

[dobbo]

Can anyone think of any? Plus when is the worst time to quote them aswell.

The ones that instantly spring to mind


The Bedroom

Scarface: "Say hello to my little friend"

When a workmate gets that promotion you wanted.

Saturday night fever "Congratulations, your now a c*** "

[bluetongue]

Dumb and dumber...
... main characters Harry and Lloyd are sitting in a spa-bath talking about old girlfriends and Harry says...

"Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention"

I've used this a couple of times eg talking about my wife or ex-girlfriend.... sometimes gets a reaction sometimes not but when it does it can provide a few chuckles

[dobbo]

Not really a quote but I was caught out the other week whistling "the imperial march" whilst upper management were having a walk though of the office. I never even realised I was whistling at the time. Subliminal I guess.

[MickS]

Zoolander:



Derek: "I think I'm falling for Matilda, Hansel."
Hansel: "Dude, I wasn't gonna say anything but it was like crazy energy flying back and forth between you guys. It was like, whoa, look out!"
Derek: "There was a moment last night when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesman..."
Hansel: "Oh, yeah."
Derek: "...where I thought 'Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman.'"

[roverfj1200]

Sh*t
what
rollers
no
yeah
sh*t

Does any one know which movie this exchange comes from..

[MickS]

Blues Bros....too easy!!

I bet these cops have got SMODS...

SMODS?

[MickS]

State Municipal Offender Data Systems

Brilliant flick

[barney]

here's one for the hitch hikers fans;-
"it's times like this when i really wish i'd listened to what my mother told me when i was young"
then your innocent victim says "why? what did she tell you?"
"i don't know, i didn't listen".
i tend to use this one more than i should with people who have no sense of humour, i get the strangest looks.

[roverfj1200]

Is it not SCMODS State County Municipal Offender Data Systems

It has a 440 cubic inch plant its got cop tires cop shocks its the model made before catalitic convertors so it runs good an regular gas

Is it the new Blues mobile or what

Fix the cigarette lighter..:D

[roverfj1200]

here's one for the hitch hikers fans;-
"it's times like this when i really wish i'd listened to what my mother told me when i was young"
then your innocent victim says "why? what did she tell you?"
"i don't know, i didn't listen".
i tend to use this one more than i should with people who have no sense of humour, i get the strangest looks.

Love the old BBc show so much that I bought it on DVD....

Resistance is useless.....

[Maggot4x4]

*South African Voice* Kafer Loffer

Lethal Wepon II

MMMMMMMM Patsy Kensit

[barney]

Love the old BBc show so much that I bought it on DVD....

Resistance is useless.....
my missus bought me the cd of the first book as read by douglas adams, and i have the TV series on dvd too

[MickS]

Is it not SCMODS State County Municipal Offender Data Systems

It has a 440 cubic inch plant its got cop tires cop shocks its the model made before catalitic convertors so it runs good an regular gas

Is it the new Blues mobile or what

Fix the cigarette lighter..:D

That's it!!!

Look at you in those candy assed monkey suits...Merve and the Magic Tones?

How much for the leetle girrrl??

:)

[landyfromanuthaland]

"The whole thing runs like a well oiled machine u know!" from the late great Captian Mainwaring of Dads Army fame

[landyfromanuthaland]

Who wants an orange whip?
funny how the blues bros still rocks after all these years

[Pedro_The_Swift]

"I thought you were dead?"

"yea, I get that a lot!"

[FenianEel]

THis could be used anytime, and it's gotta go close to the best last line of any movie

"Off with his head, and don't forget the scrotum."

Mad Dog Morgan

[Capstan]

"You were only suppossed to blow the bloody doors off!"

[dobbo]

"You were only suppossed to blow the bloody doors off!"

come on that movie produced heaps of better lines than that one

Try these out for size

"I could eat a horse hu hu"

Mr. Bridger (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0002021/): We've come here to pay our respects to Great Aunt Nellie. She brought us up properly and taught us loyalty. Now I want you to remember that during these next few days. I also want you to remember that if you don't come back with the goods, Nellie here will turn in her grave, and, likely as not, jump right out of it and kick your teeth in.

'Camp' Freddie (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0065777/): But Mr. Bridger, what if the Professor's not bent?
Mr. Bridger (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0002021/): Camp Freddie, everyone in the *world* is bent!


Charlie Croker (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000323/): You wouldn't hit a man with no trousers on, would you?

Professor Simon Peach (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001350/): Are they big? I like 'em big!

BIG"

Charlie Croker (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000323/): Just remember this - in this country they drive on the wrong side of the road.

Garage Manager (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0166979/): You must have shot an awful lot of tigers, sir.
Charlie Croker (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000323/): Yes, I use a machine gun.

And the best till last

Charlie Croker (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000323/): It's a very difficult job and the only way to get through it is we all work together as a team. And that means you do everything I say.

[MickS]

7 minute abs - Something About Mary......

[Tote]

In any situation when one of your mates looks like he's doing alright with the Ladies:
Dad, he's going to pork her

To confuse an annoying desk hoverer:
Go home, Your Igloo is on fire

Regards,
Tote

[Gug]

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

INIGO
I admit it -- you are better than I am.MAN IN BLACK
Then why are you smiling?Inches from defeat, Inigo is, in fact, all smiles.
INIGO
Because I know something you don't know.MAN IN BLACK
And what is that?INIGO
I am not left-handed.

And he throws the sword into his right hand and immediately, the tide of battle turns.

MAN IN BLACK
You're amazing!INIGO
I ought to be after twenty years.And now the Man In Black is smashed into a stone pillar, pinned there under the six fingered sword.
MAN IN BLACK(hollering it out)
There's something I ought to tell you.INIGO
Tell me.MAN IN BLACK
I am not left-handed either.And now he changes hands, and at last, the battle is fully joined.

[dobbo]

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

INIGO
I admit it -- you are better than I am.MAN IN BLACK
Then why are you smiling?Inches from defeat, Inigo is, in fact, all smiles.
INIGO
Because I know something you don't know.MAN IN BLACK
And what is that?INIGO
I am not left-handed.

And he throws the sword into his right hand and immediately, the tide of battle turns.

MAN IN BLACK
You're amazing!INIGO
I ought to be after twenty years.And now the Man In Black is smashed into a stone pillar, pinned there under the six fingered sword.
MAN IN BLACK(hollering it out)
There's something I ought to tell you.INIGO
Tell me.MAN IN BLACK
I am not left-handed either.And now he changes hands, and at last, the battle is fully joined.


The princess Bride?

[Ben]

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels has plenty of quotable lines:

Nick the Greek: What else does it come with?
Tom: It comes with a gold-plated Rolls Royce, as long as you pay for it.


Hatchet Harry: I don't want to know who you use, as long as they're not complete muppets.


Gary: Shotguns? What, like guns that fire shot?
Barry the Baptist: Oh, you must be the brains of the operation. Yes, guns that fire shot.

Gary: So who's the gov'? Who we doing this for?
Barry the Baptist: You're doing it for me, that's all you need to know. You know because you need to know.
Gary: I see. One of them "on a need to know basis" things is it. Like one of them James Bond films.


Rory Breaker: If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya.


And Snatch followed in fine form:

Avi: Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary f*cking Poppins... LONDON.


Brick Top: Do you know what 'nemesis' means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by a 'orrible c*nt... me.

[Blknight.aus]

all from one or other incarnations of the same movie/tv series

drinking one is the equivelent of having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.

Here I am, brain the size of a planet and....

you think youve got problems? what are you supposed to do if you are a depressive robot?

Hey guys Its marvin He just phoned up to wash his head at us.

"what do you mean theres no escape pods did you count them?" "Yep Twice"

and some other faves

"You know what I'd like to do?"

-" Yeah I know what you'd like to do. Find the guy that did it, rip his still-beating heart out, and hold it in his face so he can see how black it is before he dies."

"actually I was thinking about filing a grievance with the union."

-"well the world's a twisted place."

and

And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun...
And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" Written down the side of mine...
Should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... F#ck off!

[jsp]

"When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!"

[Ben]

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels:

"Oh, Lawrence! This is the happiest day of my life! I think my testicles are dropping!"

"Freddy, as a younger man, I was a sculptor, a painter, and a musician. There was just one problem: I wasn't very good. As a matter of fact, I was dreadful. I finally came to the frustrating conclusion that I had taste and style, but not talent. I knew my limitations. We all have our limitations, Freddy. Fortunately, I discovered that taste and style were commodities that people desired. Freddy, what I am saying is: know your limitations. You are a moron."

[crump]

"I have a Turkey in the oven that is that undercooked, a skilled veternarian could bring it back to life."

[Redback]

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy, now pi$$ off:D

Baz.

[MickS]

Mayor: Now Drebin, I don't want any trouble like you had on the South Side like last year, that's my policy.
Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards, that's my policy.
Mayor: That was a Shakespeare In The Park Production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!


Frank: Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he's behind bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eat


Frank: A good cop - needlessly cut down by some cowardly hoodlums.
Ed: No way for a man to die.
Frank: No... you're right, Ed. A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go.
Wilma Nordberg: [cries] Oh... Frank. This is terrible.
Ed: Don't you worry Wilma. Your husband is going to be alright. Don't you worry about anything. Just think positive. Never let a doubt enter your mind.
Frank: He's right, Wilma. But I wouldn't wait until the last minute to fill out those organ donor cards.
[Wilma cries again]
Ed: What I'm trying to say is that Wilma, as soon as Nordburg is better, he's welcome back at Police Squad.
Frank: Unless he's a drooling vegetable. But I think that's only common sense...
[Wilma cries again]

Frank: Nordburg...it's me, Frank. Now who did this to you??Nordburg: I...Love You?Frank: I love you too, Nordburg. Who were they??Nordburg: Ship...boat?Frank: That's right, Nordburg, a boat. Now, when you're better we'll go sailing together, on a boat. We'll take a cruise just like last year.?Nordburg: drugs...?Frank: Hey Nurse. Give this man some drugs, quick...can't you see he's in pain? Give him a shot, quickly.?Nordburg: no...heroin...heroin, Frank...?Frank: Nordburg...that's a pretty tall order. You're gonna have to give me a couple a days on that one.

[Dave110]

"I'm so hungry my ar$e is snapping at the grass" in King Arthur the other night on the telly

[MrsMcRover]

Please See the Mudpit for my Quotes.....


Jay and Silent Bob too Blue for here.

BooBooKitty**** :D

[markyc]

My signature line.
Inappropriate at, say, a bikies' club house?

[JamesH]

"I've been waiting a long time for this moment and now I've got you right where I want you...."

BAM!
[He falls down dead. Pans to the other guy...]

[blowing the smoke and suds off his gun] "If you're gonna shoot, shoot, don't talk"

[Gug]

"Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit drinkin'"

[Fusion]

" I'm to old for this $h1t " ... lethal weapon:D

[Blknight.aus]

since some one already picked up on my sci fi likes one of eryn suns top lines ina convo with chryton

Chryton: "Erin, Be nice"

Erin;" Im not good at nice"

[Ben]

A sci-fi Kryten of another sort:

Lister: I'm just sayin', there's 79 more days to go.
Kryten: And if you still want to be alive when there is only 78 more days to go, I suggest you do not blow your nose.
Lister: Do you mind if I ask why?
Kryten: Well, let's forego the noise and the revolting burbling sound and go straight to the really gross part, when you always, and I mean always, having blown your nose, have to open up your handkerchief and take a look at the contents. I mean, why? What do you expect to see in there? A Turner seascape, perhaps? The face of the Madonna? An undiscovered Shakespearian sonnet?


Holly: I am Holly, the ship's computer, with an I.Q. of 6000 - the same I.Q. as 6000 P.E. teachers.


Rimmer: My mind is so numb and brain-dead, I feel like I've just attended a three day seminar entitled 'The Future of Plumbing'. Have you any idea how irritating you have just been? You're a master, there are things you could teach to tropical skin diseases.


Rimmer: Look, I'm not much good at big speeches, and I know I haven't always been an easy guy to get on with. And I know that, given the choice, I probably wouldn't have chosen you as friends. But, I just want to say ... that over the years, ... I have come to regard you ... as ... people ... I met.


Rimmer: Look, we all have something to bring to this discussion. But I think from now on the thing you should bring is silence.


Lister: Love is what separates us from animals.
Rimmer: No, Lister - what separates us from animals is that we don't use our tongues to clean our own genitals.