Geez am I banana annoyed

[graceysdad]

At home I have this old bubble back ford laser I have been slowly fixing for my middle boy, today the little %@$#$ took the thing for a drive to his mates place, the idea itself was fine but he has no licence, the car has no rego or insurance, I totally blew my fuse and I am still glowing red with anger so I am venting some steam here, I cant for the life of me make this 16 year old @$#@#@ realise what he did was plain wrong, he cant fathom the idea that I am majorly @^#%$ at his ignorance and lack of common sense, I got the old didnt I make stuff ups as a teenager, well I did but I paid for them dearly with my old man being the iron fisted old thing he was and is, we have trouble with this boy on a regular bases, he joydrove our AU when we were away and wrecked the backend trying to drift in inverted commas, left school uneducated, left home and lives with skank and her even skankier mother, comes home 3 mornings a week to deposit washing and scoff as much cornflakes as he can, I just cant see what I need to do with him now, the effect this sort of thing has on my atrial flutter is really unwanted, friggin kids Arrrghhhhh!, someone tell me I am not the only one who has these dramas with teenagers, I cant get over thinking what if he had killed someone, yes the keys were hidden, dont know how he got it going but it needs a new ignition now I put the axe through it in a bout of anger earlier, it wont go anywhere anytime soon!, mind you you dont have to be a rocket scientist to get an old laser going, most stolen car in the world

[Hymie]

How much is the car worth?
Arrange for a wreckers to crush the car in front of him.

[dobbo]

take it down to the wreckers and crush it, make him watch. Then tell him buy his own car.

[RonMcGr]

At home I have this old bubble back ford laser I have been slowly fixing for my middle boy, today the little %@$#$ took the thing for a drive to his mates place, the idea itself was fine but he has no licence, the car has no rego or insurance, I totally blew my fuse and I am still glowing red with anger so I am venting some steam here, I cant for the life of me make this 16 year old @$#@#@ realise what he did was plain wrong, he cant fathom the idea that I am majorly @^#%$ at his ignorance and lack of common sense, I got the old didnt I make stuff ups as a teenager, well I did but I paid for them dearly with my old man being the iron fisted old thing he was and is, we have trouble with this boy on a regular bases, he joydrove our AU when we were away and wrecked the backend trying to drift in inverted commas, left school uneducated, left home and lives with skank and her even skankier mother, comes home 3 mornings a week to deposit washing and scoff as much cornflakes as he can, I just cant see what I need to do with him now, the effect this sort of thing has on my atrial flutter is really unwanted, friggin kids Arrrghhhhh!, someone tell me I am not the only one who has these dramas with teenagers, I cant get over thinking what if he had killed someone, yes the keys were hidden, dont know how he got it going but it needs a new ignition now I put the axe through it in a bout of anger earlier, it wont go anywhere anytime soon!, mind you you dont have to be a rocket scientist to get an old laser going, most stolen car in the world

You get that.
My Son prior to getting his licence, let a mate drive the "Kids Corolla", and ran it into a tree!

When we got home from our holiday, here was the son and his mates in the house with a car out the front sporting a new black guard and lots of other bent pieces.:eek:

I was furious!
The car was almost sold on the spot.
If it were not for the wife, it would have been :twisted:

Cheers,
Ron

[mudmouse]

Well, my boy's not one yet, so I ain't no expert...but

Fix it up then sell it. Tell him the deal to fix it up was for him to get a licence, get a job and start making something of himself and to stop bludging (cornflakes) off you and your family. Since he's demonstrated the inability to give a sh*t about anyone but himself, the Ford goes.

Good luck with him mate. Shame you can't sign him up for the Army - a couple of tune ups for insubordinance never anyone hurt (much).

[Xavie]

I have to admit I did the same thing GD. I realise now how irresponsible it was but several years ago it just happened and as a young person didn't really see the issue.

Your son will never see the issue until he is older and having someone yell at him won't get it across it will just make him close down.

I'm not sure about crushing the car it seems you put in all the work and it would be a waste of your time. If you are going to get rid of it at least get some cash to fix up your series with.

Xav

[cartm58]

yes my 2nd ex teenage son was exactly the same sort attitude and skank girlfriend who had 5 kids with different fathers and only had custody of 1 them as he was negro amercian sailor somewhere else in the world the other 4 she had lost custody of and she was 11 years odler than him.

only solution l find to work was to say stand on your feet and provide for yourself and stop bludging off me as l closed the door on his face.

I havent been happier in not seeing him and the $72,000 l paid to his mother when she left to settle the home ownership issues was cheap purchase of my freedom and sanity.

[p38arover]

comes home 3 mornings a week to deposit washing

Deposit his washing back on the street. If he can't wash it, there's no reason why your wife should.

I am also confused. Was the car being built up for him or another son?

[LR V8]

My son was 17 when he did that.

I was at work, he decided to take his unregistered Scorpion out for a test drive with his mates.... I didn't even notice it gone when I got home.... must of been tired.

Next thing there's a knock at the front door.... the police... for a few seconds my heart stopped. They had an accident and rolled/totaled the scorpion. No injuries, thank God.

The police were good about it. They ripped shredds off him in front of me ( a lesson for both ?) but only booked him for neg driving (could have got him for a few more charges)... The boy sorta smiled at that until I reminded him about the double demerits in force...(lost license for 3 months - I think the police knew this).

I was angry as hell. I didn't yell at him or carry on. Tried to speak to him as an adult and how stupid his actions were... particularly as he had a young son a few months old.

The next day we went to the wreckers to pay the tow truck driver. I nearly lost it when I saw the wreck.... it was totaled. How they survived has amazed me to this day. All I could do was hold him tight and repeatedly tell him how lucky he was.

Perhaps you should see the police and organise for them to have a 'chat' with him.... intervention has got to be far better than worse case....

They grow up.... eventualy....

Good luck mate.

Pete

[simonl8353]

The grey hairs tell it all. You love your kids and you get angry 'cos in an instant it can all suddenly end.

We were all a'holes as kids too. Its now our job to try to improve with each generation. Not easy.

Against us, the biggest threat as I see it is the peer pressure they're under to do something more cooler or insane than their mates.

You can almost forget the advise we give, its surrounding them with the right peer group that the best solution.

Mines only 5, roll on 14! :o
God I love him.

[hiline]

The grey hairs tell it all. You love your kids and you get angry 'cos in an instant it can all suddenly end.

We were all a'holes as kids too. Its now our job to try to improve with each generation. Not easy.

Against us, the biggest threat as I see it is the peer pressure they're under to do something more cooler or insane than their mates.

You can almost forget the advise we give, its surrounding them with the right peer group that the best solution.

Mines only 5, roll on 14! :o
God I love him.

now thats a great valid point ..........

i know i always make sure my older boys always tell me who they are hanging around with
they seem to have a good bunch of mates beside them
well at this stage:angel:

[graceysdad]

Kids think parents just drop out a tree fully grown, they dont think we have done the hard yards too, naturally he thinks I am being totally unreasonable, he said I am a teenager, we do silly things. My immediate reply @#$*&#%@R#@%!*& stuff your @$*&@% car, then I said how would u have felt if you had a prang and killed someone, nup couldnt see the error of his ways, was here I walked away coz i wanted to floor the bugger, even now I am still wearing the cranky pants, stuffed if I know, tomorrows another day.

[hiline]

my oldest boys just tells me .............

i dont care :twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted:

thats gets my blood on the boil

[graceysdad]

To answer Rons question, the car was crap box I picked up cheap through a mate, supposed to have a stuffed head gasket, we dragged it home, I worked on these for ten years and know them like the back of my hand, I have three teenagers, one nearly 18 one were hoping will make 17 the other is only a young mummys boy, the older one has no desire to drive so hes easily fixed but the middle boy was always destined to be independent, I didnt want him going out in the world without knowing the in and outs of a car and he could save himself money as time went on, so we gradually pulled it to bits, the head gasket was ok the thermostat was seiezed, taught him how to do a service and change plugs etc, he aquired a stereo so I taught him the electrical basics, this was sposed to try and enhance our relationship and things were looking brighter the last few months and I was actualy starting to think he might be maturing then pulled this stunt, so back to square one,

[graceysdad]

Thats a good story Pete, you know where I am at, hes been to the copshop several times in 3 years, I have attended 5 official cautions and statements, he was tuned everytime, really made no difference to this one, then last year he really did the wrong thing and ended up in court and now hes on a bond, the thing is they play these computor games where they shoot and out drive cops ina game situation and they become totally desensitised to Police to the stage they have no respect or fear of them, I just cant put any authority on this child he just wont take it, his usual reply is to get all huffy and try and put one over me, knowone puts anything over a 200 plus kilo bouncer, I have run out of ideas ,I have tried the therapy thing, couldnt get him to go, cant really make him.

[Chenz]

It seems interesting that the "I have rights" (but no responsibilty) generation has been created by do-gooder teachers and would be social engineers.

The writing has been on the wall for yonks and yet we seem to be getting softer and more desensitised to this sort of behaviour. I am only 49 but can remember getting a few good clips around the ear from my old man and clearly remember the local cops "having a quiet word" to some of the lads in my district.

I am not advocating flogging kids but the occasional swift kick in the rear end does them the world of good.

I agree with putting his stuff out on the street and selling the car in front of him. May teach him that there are indeed consequences attached to these sorts of actions.

[bblaze]

I was a wild child. 14 to 19 years old was the worst of my behavior. Married at 19, somehow completed my apprentiship as a diesel fitter. Wont discuss the things I did but had little respect for any one or any thing. My parents a wonderful loving people that gave me room to make mistakes, made me take responsability for my mistakes but still supported me in my times of need.
Now all those years later at 47, still married to the same women, 3 kids between ages 20 to 28 that over time have given me less grief than I gave my parents but at time have gave me some grief. I think some of us just need more room to grow than others, regardless of what my familily do I will be there for each and every one of them, there will be times when I may not be proud but I will still be there. I have over the years had a lot of wild kids look to me for support and most of them now have families and have moved one from there past. I suppose what I am trying to say is some of us are just wild children and with time and support we will become great members of our communities
dont give up on them
cheers
blaze

[HAK]

I was a rat bag and the thing about kids is they think there invincable I did any way. I use to grab the old mans keys to his ZJ fairlane which was a V8 and and take of for a thrushing, its how I tought my self to drive so I thought. one day my perents got a knock on the door by police asking where there car keys are. dad apperently said right here on the key hook, ha ha but where they? NO because I took his fairlane and drove it up a tree and legged it with a mate trying to make it out as if the car was stolen mmmmmm with the keys left in the ignition good one.

got charged by the cops for auto theft being a minor it was dropped, the law has been good to me now that I am an adult I think there to soft

the point is trying to impress mates for a teenager is way stronger then trying to impress perents

As for the skenk as you put getting your end wet is just as important get the wife to befriend the skenk as much as she can to read if the girls on contracptives last thing you want is the kid to be a dad as he matures he will realise she a skenk and will move on as long as he isnt TIED DOWN

hang in there I have a daughter who is 3 but wont be three for ever sad but true the moment she brings a boy home I intend on walking around the house in the nud to scare him off ehehehehehe :angel: or the shot gun

[Phoenix]

Perhaps it's as simple as removing all rights and priveladges to the car and washing machine. If need be remove parts so that they don't work till he earns the right to use them?

[solmanic]

What ever you choose to do as a consequence - be sure to follow through.

I'm not a parent, but I am surrounded by psychologists, and the one thing I hear over an over again is that being consistent is the key. If you say you're going to sell the car, make sure you do it, and don't cave in under any circumstances. The flip side is, don't threaten to do anything you are not actually prepared to do. Kids note this and it just further diminishes your authority in the future.

[blitz]

Ah hell this is a tricky one the last couple of points are very good - actually all of them are.

the psychologists that I have rubbed shoulders with over the years tell me that a males brain isnt hard wired until about 25 to 30 years old, that is why we cant see any thing wrong with what we do nor are we able to see the repercussions of what we are about to do.

my son and I are slowly working on rebuilding our relationship after a very very similar story (not the car just the rest) it got so bad that I told him until he grew up and started to respect others he wasnt welcome back.

that was 7 years ago he is still with the girl and I am now a grand father I see them very infrequently much to my dismay. Can I help no I cant all I can say is time is a great healer and when he comes reound be there for him.

Blythe

[graceysdad]

Well today I remained in a calm mood, child wasnt here surprise surprise!, the starter motor dissappeared today, the module inthe dizzy fell out to, he can get all the clever dicky mates he can they wont get it going in a blue fit, wife rang the boy and said well what you got to say, he got nothing to say and hung up, kind of expected that ,how he handles things, just yell abuse and run off. Back to square one again and try again I guess.

[simonl8353]

IMHO and showing massive faith in the positive affermation thing, but what if, you took the offending vehicle to him and took him out to the back and beyond and......

Then, showed him how handbrake turns go, braking distances (skids), doughnuts and all the stuff he'll need to know if the in-insured, un-licenced un-everything situation goes pear shaped on him.

Some slight chance he'll like it, thank you and realise when a cars out of shape your basically buggered!

Did the same with my older bro' (I learnt early) he's always said it taught him more about respect for a car than any of the 4o lessons.

Bold move, but whats to loose.

Know one learns by skidding once into a semi.

I'd reckon the shock of your change in attitude would do wonders.

Big Fat Pologeeees if I stepped on sommint here :):):):)

[graceysdad]

I didnt want to teach any of my kids to drive myself, I made him go through a learning school, with an emphasis on defensive driving, I didnt want them picking up my bad habits, plus I am also shocking passenger and I mean really shocking, I dont even like my wife driving me around, I am funny about this for some reason, I trust my own experience, my own reactions etc, goes back to my one and only accident as a young driver, seen the dont overtake turning vehicle sticker on trucks?, well I had slowed to turn right with blinker on and this crazy nut overtook as I started to turn and he T boned me big time, the car spun around and **** ended into a ditch after takingout some poor cockys fence and we landed on our side, luckily no injuries but had fun getting out, that car was an XB Ford and was in showroom condition, only 6 years old at the time, i still miss the car and think about it quiet often,
I reckon they are better to learn by a professional and do some further training later for defensive driving etc

[simonl8353]

All fair points....

But the other factor is the shock of you assisting/helping/sharing in his extreem behavoir (to us older folk anyway). When I say go so back and beyond, I mean some deserted industrial estate with no public traffic or a paddock somewhere at 8am Sunday morning.

Then you can sit with him and let him trash the vehicles tyres and running gear if necessary. Nothing dangerous. :):):) I wont push this any more ;);) you've been patient.

[graceysdad]

I would like to hope my kids wouldnt be idiots in the car but who am I trying to kid, once he gets his Ps and fills the thing with his dead head mates nd they go cruisin for the first time? well I know he is going to thrash the CV joints out real fast, Laser running gear is quiet strong and will take a hammering, he will give into peer pressure and this is when stupidity comes into play and thats that, weve all seen it over and over again, I have forced the issue until I am blue in the face about not abusing the priveledge of a licence and that a car can and is a deadly weapon, but I spose he has to learn for himself.

[zen300]

At home I have this old bubble back ford laser I have been slowly fixing for my middle boy, today the little %@$#$ took the thing for a drive to his mates place, the idea itself was fine but he has no licence, the car has no rego or insurance, I totally blew my fuse and I am still glowing red with anger so I am venting some steam here, I cant for the life of me make this 16 year old @$#@#@ realise what he did was plain wrong, he cant fathom the idea that I am majorly @^#%$ at his ignorance and lack of common sense, I got the old didnt I make stuff ups as a teenager, well I did but I paid for them dearly with my old man being the iron fisted old thing he was and is, we have trouble with this boy on a regular bases, he joydrove our AU when we were away and wrecked the backend trying to drift in inverted commas, left school uneducated, left home and lives with skank and her even skankier mother, comes home 3 mornings a week to deposit washing and scoff as much cornflakes as he can, I just cant see what I need to do with him now, the effect this sort of thing has on my atrial flutter is really unwanted, friggin kids Arrrghhhhh!, someone tell me I am not the only one who has these dramas with teenagers, I cant get over thinking what if he had killed someone, yes the keys were hidden, dont know how he got it going but it needs a new ignition now I put the axe through it in a bout of anger earlier, it wont go anywhere anytime soon!, mind you you dont have to be a rocket scientist to get an old laser going, most stolen car in the world
yeah, mate.....been there....got six kids (that was BEFORE we got the telly....they stopped after that, ha ha)...four girls, two boys....the girls have been great...the boy's ?....well,.... what can i say....i know what y' going thru'....my boys have been ALMOST as stupid as i was, at the same age....my dad's solution with me ?....tough love...."you obviously don't like it here son, you think your mum and i are idiots '?...." well son, move out, don't come back with your washing for your mum to do....and don't eat my food, either ".....i did the same with my unruly, obstinate, pig-headed sons, no free rides, no free food, no free cars, etc. yeah, it was hard and they went thru' some tough times, but ten years down the tracks and they're different people....yeah, like us, they DO eventually grow up ( well, mostly....)....yes, it's hard to do when you love ém and see them going wrong, but the more you do for them, the weaker they perceive you to be....they don't see your love for what it is...but as weakness, so you get no respect and your car nicked. i may be out of line here, tell him you love him, but your not going to put up with his rubbish and to shoot thru' and don't come back until he can show you RESPECT.....all i can say is it worked ON me, and FOR me.......

[graceysdad]

Well Zenn I hear you in every way, I would dearly love to send the little gremlin packing , this is where mum and I differ and thats the problem.

[VladTepes]

I'm still wondering about the banana.

[Aaron]

Graceys dad - Having been through this trouble, what advice would you give to young parents? Is there a "day one" thats in your mind that trouble started? How would you do things over if you had a chance?

[Scouse]

I'm still wondering about the banana.Being a Mr Mod, you know all about the banana ;).

[moose]

Graceys dad - Having been through this trouble, what advice would you give to young parents? Is there a "day one" thats in your mind that trouble started? How would you do things over if you had a chance?
Ah ha hah hah ha! What makes you think a parent is going to tell you that!:twisted:
Learn for yourself!!:twisted::twisted:

Just jokes!:wasntme: I think if the answer was that easy it would be in a book, and if it is in a book, they probably teach it to the kids in school so they know if they're being hard done by and how to be rotten in new and exciting ways!

[45tr0]

Since I'm feeling a little bit game here GraceysDad, please allow me to share my experience. I'm not trying to lecture, just maybe give some perspective...
I'm 24 now and didn't get along well with my old man as a teen. We lived 15km out of a small country town and the only access I had to seeing my mates was a lift. He didn't like my mates, (drinking, funny smokes) and therefore didn't make with the lift often. :)
At about 15 I started nicking off on my (unregistered) dirtbike and riding it via farm tracks and dirt roads into town, at night, no lights. Dad would blow up, take the ignition off the bike for a few days, then eventually we'd truce, the bike'd be fixed and the whole situation would repeat itself.
Anyway, on one of my trips into town, I came off on a nasty gravel stretch. Nothing broken, but I knocked a fair bit of bark off myself. Dad flipped when I got home and basically did the "until you learn some respect, you're not allowed in my house" bit.
So I flipped him off, got on the bike and buggered off. And being fifteen, the only place I had to go to was the mates my dad hated. THEIR parents didn't give a stuff what we got up to.
Now you can imagine all the things that you don't want your son doing? Within 12 months I did 'em all. And i mean ALL. I figured I wasn't under his roof, I could do what i wanted (which, to my teenage mind, was defined by everything he objected to). I ended up pretty much one (small) step up from dead in a gutter. I started 'borrowing' cars.
My girlfriend died of an overdose.
It could very easily have been me.
I know dad was only doing the "tough love" routine, but thowing me out and giving me free reign was like handing a loaded gun to a mental patient. (i really believe teenagers are hormonally insane!) I might've been a handful, and we might've fought, but I was a hell of a lot safer at home than on the streets.
Anyway, That was when i started to clean up my act. I asked my parents for help. I moved back home, and Dad fixed up mum's old ford festiva for me. We lived on acreage, and dad set the deal from the start - I could treat the thing like a go-kart around the farm, and drive however i liked, but the moment it left the front gate without a licence, it was sold.
Dad used to race mini's, and spent a few hours every weekend teaching me about how a car handles skids etc. The main thing he set out to teach me was that you are allowed to push your car and yourself to your limits, provided you have controlled conditions, never on the road. The first time the car let go I smacked a small tree in our yard. I thought I was completely in control. It scared me witless to know that it could've been an oncoming vehicle.
I've done defensive driving courses since, but the problem with defensive driving is just that - it teaches defence - you know how to avoid sticky situations, not how to handle them if they crop up. Certainly no defensive driving course that i know of encourages young people to learn to "hoon" safely (offroad or on a track, in controlled conditions).
I read how you think that your son might learn your bad habits behind the wheel. I can guarantee, he's much more likely to invent some that are a lot worse if you let his mates be his guide to driving technique. :)

Sorry, that was a bit long winded. I'm no expert - just a kid who is lucky his old man gave him another chance. I nearly went a whole different direction...

(we get on very well these days, by the way...)

[Xavie]

I have to agree with 45tr0. I've had similar experiences. and a note on the tough love thing, it doesn't work it makes matters worse.

Xav

[abaddonxi]

Seems to me, both from my experience, and from what I've read here and elsewhere, that:

all teenagers are mad
punishing them doesn't work
being soft on 'em doesn't work

Best thing to do is get calm about it yourself and ride out the storm.

Cheers
Simon

[Diego Luego]

I'm stunned with the honesty written here, congratulations everybody.

I did some stupid things in my teens, and am still alive (aged 61) because I realised that I couldn't trust myself in any fast car. Hence my first vehicle was an S2A Landrover (things don't get much slower than that).

From personal experience Production Car Rallying at the lower levels is a great way to let off steam.

Parents have to learn to allow kids to make mistakes, even encourage them to make mistakes, but in a a controlled way. That is life's hardest lesson.

Just hang in there folks and wait for the teens to be over.

[rockley12]

the way I see it is that he is rebelling against you. You said that you got the car to get closer to him and share some time with him etc. He wrecked the car and this may have been a way or rebelling against you...or your attempt to get closer to him.

Do not give up!

We have just had to spent the last 5 years dragging a 'child' through courts, rehabs, biths of grand children and stuff which you may not believe.

He is now 24 and still carries on with grog - even though he is way better than he used to be.

Any way, my point is to bring hime closer, say you are going to sell the car and DO IT!. Find some other way of getting closer to him, maybe a sport or something. How about camping...this will have the effect of taking him away from the peer group he is with and giviing him a more family oriented environment. Also, a middle child may feel ignored as with 'middle child syndrome'.

Boys don't grow up as fast as they used to - around mid twenties they are equal to when we were around eighteen I feel. They don't have the responsibilities we had.

I hope this was constructive

[rockley12]

Well Zenn I hear you in every way, I would dearly love to send the little gremlin packing , this is where mum and I differ and thats the problem.

I just noted the above and would like to say that you MUST be on the same wavelength as each other to get this kid through this...

[UncleHo]

G'day Folks :)

I have read this thread with interest, and at a young 64, I have trouble in understanding the Pschycologist's bit about the male brain not being hard wired until they are in their 20's, what about the millions of teenagers that fought in 2 World Wars, and responded to commands and orders, then went on to become good citizens, it is just the popular "Rights not Responsabilities" thing pushed by the current Pscho-Babblers, it is more about "must have now" than if you want it save and buy it, parents are parents not "friends" one only has to look at the lower forms of animal life and realise that the young often get taught by parents in not so gentle manner, IE big cats with young, dogs with pups, that, what a parent should do by instinct, and not by social enginering experiments, a case in hand is "Dr Spock" 40 years after his book he eventually admitted that he was WRONG:eek: and how many Millions of kids/people did his little tombe mentally screw up :confused:

Rant Over

P.S. and yes, I was a sneeking, coniving little sod.
cheers

[incisor]

P.S. and yes, I was a sneeking, coniving little sod.
cheers
rumour has it you still are near a sink full of dirty dishes... ;):D

[LavisLane]

(apologies for the long post - this is all pretty close to my heart)

Well this brings back alot of memories! Guessing it's the same for every bloke on this forum.

I agree on the recurring points here and think back to how the chain of events for me nearly went the wrong way.

The most important things from my personal experience are;

Let him know you'll always be there no matter how angry you get and how much he stuffs up - he needs to know that. Wether he realises it or not, this will keep him from turning to the dark side. Tell it to him straight.

Surround him with good role models - getting caught up with dud mates is the worst thing possible in my experience as their values become your sons values - think of the worst that can happen and it will. However, if he's in contact with hard working people that have strong values that are still fun enough for him, it will rub off on him all day long!

I live in Kings Cross and see the street kids and misery every day and think "why are they like that? Why am I living in a fancy place and not on the street?" I was pretty crazy as a kid but when i think back to all the times things were about to go really pear shaped, my folks were alwasy there to begrudgingly bail me out. Not in a "there there, you'll be ok sweety" way, no no no, my Dad is ex military - an absolute hard ass who believes that if kids are acting up, "you're not smacken em hard enough" i realise now though that he's a bloody legend ;)

Most of the kids on the street in Kings Cross don't have folks to turn to and have never known the feeling of being completely free but knowing that if something goes wrong, they always have Mum and Dad as a backup (not really completely free). It's that knowledge that let me go a bit crazy but also kept my feet on the ground, and since they were always in the background no matter how cool and independant i was, i was always going to need them. I guess i maintained just a few standards for myself without even realising it!

The turning point from being an "independant" cool dude scratching around on part time jobs was a trip north to the Whitsundays with all the change i had (bear with me here) i met a bunch of guys that let me stay with them at Airlie Beach for a couple of weeks and we partied every second night. They'd work their asses off all day and then come home and have money to spend on more partying - that was the turning point for me when i realised "working hard gives these people independance and party money!"

From that day on i worked my ass off and was able to surround myself with similar people that didn't mind a good time but they worked hard for it. This work stuff is really good for the soul! I stayed in Airlie working and after 3 years started my own business at 23yo, employing 6 people! Of course, i spent all the money on parties, it took me a bit longer to learn the lessons of savings and moderated partying.

10 years later and my parents are pretty proud of the son they almost gave up on!

My folks are off on a 6 month grey nomads tour today! Must remember to thank them at the leaving do tonight :)

Best of luck Graceysdad, not looking forward to going through the inevitable with my son!

[spudboy]

What ever you choose to do as a consequence - be sure to follow through.

I'm not a parent, but I am surrounded by psychologists, and the one thing I hear over an over again is that being consistent is the key. If you say you're going to sell the car, make sure you do it, and don't cave in under any circumstances. The flip side is, don't threaten to do anything you are not actually prepared to do. Kids note this and it just further diminishes your authority in the future.

^^^ 100% agree with this. Absolutely no point "threatening" something and then letting it slide. Kids work this out real quick from a very early age.

I wouldn't be doing any washing of his clothes either, unless he is contributing in some other way to your household (mowing the lawns or whatever) in return.

[dobbo]

^^^ 100% agree with this. Absolutely no point "threatening" something and then letting it slide. Kids work this out real quick from a very early age.

I wouldn't be doing any washing of his clothes either, unless he is contributing in some other way to your household (mowing the lawns or whatever) in return.


I agree, if the car isn't been in the crusher by now, your son won't take you seriously.