Loo Papper

[landy63]

Just wondering how much more thinner can they make loo papper:eek: , getting to be like Ham Sandwitchs , 2 slices of bread and a thin red line where the Ham is suposed to be.:mad:

I know we are all suposed to be doing it tough but is nothing sacred ?,think i might go back to using the old Phonebook . At least it will be Digitaly remastered.::twisted:

[dobbo]

Just wondering how much more thinner can they make loo papper:eek: , getting to be like Ham Sandwitchs , 2 slices of bread and a thin red line where the Ham is suposed to be.:mad:

I know we are all suposed to be doing it tough but is nothing sacred ?,think i might go back to using the old Phonebook . At least it will be Digitaly remastered.::twisted:

Good that you mentioned the phonebook in your post, cause in the Telstra call centre "Kevin from Melbourne" has to use his right hand for eating and his left hand for wiping. How does he hold his handset whilst he is on the phone to me???????????????


I was told by a pharmacist years ago that any less than 6 sheets between your hand and your bum and you might as well be using your fingers (germ wise)

[cartm58]

handset is strapped to his head so no problems

put the wrong hand in the communal feeding bowl in some countries and it gets loped off with bloody big sword

[Tommy]

Soon we'll all be using 'environmentally freindly' Arabic dunny paper.....it's so thin you can't see it :(

Any left handed people out there :p

[Hymie]

Just wondering how much more thinner can they make loo papper:eek:

Thank heavens it's happening to other people.
I thought there was something wrong with my technique 'till I mentioned the problem to the Mrs.

[dobbo]

Soon we'll all be using 'environmentally freindly' Arabic dunny paper.....it's so thin you can't see it :(

Any left handed people out there :p


I think I'd prefer the french way over the Middle eastern way. Better yet just do it the Kiwi way and wait for it to dry and crack it off.

[p38arover]

Just wondering how much more thinner can they make loo papper:eek: ,

Not as thin as they make loo paper! :D

[dobbo]

More than that I think ;)....but why worry? It's your poo in your hands, no-one else's :twisted:

Stop buying the cheap brands.....at the cost of dunny paper these days the free local rag is looking good eh? :D


Just wait till you get to work and use theirs

[Slunnie]

You lot must be buying Boarding house 1/2ply budget loo paper. Admittedly its probably good value with 600m of loo paper per roll for 25c at Aldi.... but lashing out on some Sorbent 12ply will bring soothing comfort and reassurance to your bum and conscripted hand. :D

[Hucksta]

Ha Ha,

reminds me of a friend of ours who was a WWII veteran (RIP mate):(, great bloke who could yarn like the best of them.:D:D:D

Anyway, many years ago when i was a tacker he used to tell me that as they had no dunny paper on the front line they used to use the tally-ho rollies paper. He said even that was in short supply so they would poke a hole in it, put his finger in the hole, wipe :o:o:o and then pull the paper off his finger in a cleaning type motion :o:o....... man I used to laugh so hard when he used to tell me that, never was sure if it was true or not though:D:D:D:D.

Anyway, maybe it was true and we are going that way again ....

Gee, I just read my post and got a tear in my eye about this bloke :(:(.... he was a bloody legend. Jack was his name and when he died we were his only family, my old man paid for his funeral and we were the only people there, sad really but my brothers and I were glad we knew him. He used to work for the old man droving cattle and was just a knock about sort of bloke ...... sorry for that little hijack of the post .......


Back to the loo paper ..... I have discovered the secret ... baby wipes, the Curash brand seems to be the best. Magnificent man, gets you real clean, makes it smell nice and no fingers busting through to the business area and finish off with a bit of loo paper to dry it all up ....... I'm off right know in fact.. see ya:D:D:D:D

[crump]

I find for a real good clean the "dog" method where you drag yourself along the carpet with your front legs the best, but I generally save it for staying at friends and motel rooms.:D

[dobbo]

Ha ha....one step ahead....chux mate!! chux!!

Either that or........

http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n74/numpty_01/nursesfiredrill2.jpg



Sponge on a stick or an alternative use for a toilet brush.

Considering how thin todays paper is I wonder what persons visiting the fedral funded hotels use to make rollies once they use their weekly allowance of rolling papers?

[Fusion]

Might be a good thing to go out and buy a cat scratch pole ..... no hands required but the dry bits might get a little scratchy :eek::D:D:D:wasntme:.

[Disco95]

Might be a good thing to go out and buy a cat scratch pole ..... no hands required but the dry bits might get a little scratchy :eek::D:D:D:wasntme:.


That's why you get the cat to go with it, he'll scratch it off for you;)
I agree, we seem to be "breaking through" more often lately. It's easy fixed though,






I usually just lick 'em clean:D

[CowsGoMoo]

I find for a real good clean the "dog" method where you drag yourself along the carpet with your front legs the best, but I generally save it for staying at friends and motel rooms.:D

:eek::eek::eek:

:Rolling::Rolling::Rolling: Nearly fell off my chair then!

[Ralph1Malph]

I have read it all now!:eek:
How is this related to Landy's?:angel:

You people give me the S***s :D:D:D:D

:wasntme:

Ralph

[graceysdad]

You could try a wooden scraper and your **** will have a taper .

[graceysdad]

My grandad said the same joke, reckons in the Army during the war you only got one sheet of paper per visit so poke your finger through, wipe/scrape, fold up and use to clean finger nail.

[graceysdad]

So whilst cleaning your quoit on the carpet using the dog method, dont u get ball burn?

[Tommy]

I have read it all now!:eek:
How is this related to Landy's?:angel:

You people give me the S***s :D:D:D:D

:wasntme:

Ralph

Can't you see a connection Ralph :(

How many times has someone told you that Land Rovers are a pile of cr@p :p :D

[rovercare]

Stop buying the cheap brands.....at the cost of dunny paper these days the free local rag is looking good eh? :D

I worked with an electrical tester from the Ukraine, he said that was the norm, never seen toilet paper till he came to Aus:eek:

[stirlsilver]

Geez guys, just reading the posts here just makes my jaw drop!

We must be buying the premium stuff? As I have never even considered starting a thread on the topic :D

[carjunkieanon]

Rather than a phone book, try using an encyclopedia or almanac or something informative.

Sit down, relax, have a read, learn something new and interesting, tear it off, wipe, rejoin the world as a more educated man.

[300+]

Toilet paper is for technophobes.

NEW COMPUTERIZED HYGIENE SYSTEM TOILET SEAT BIDET - eBay Bidets, Toilet, Bathroom, Home. (end time 18-Oct-08 21:00:32 AEST) (http://cgi.ebay.com.au/NEW-COMPUTERIZED-HYGIENE-SYSTEM-TOILET-SEAT-BIDET_W0QQitemZ110300052615QQcmdZViewItem?hash=ite m110300052615&_trkparms=39%3A1|66%3A2|65%3A1|240%3A1318&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14)

:p

Steve

[spudboy]

You guys crack me up!

I never know what I'm going to read about when I log in :eek:

[DiscoStew]

My grandad said the same joke, reckons in the Army during the war you only got one sheet of paper per visit so poke your finger through, wipe/scrape, fold up and use to clean finger nail.

I have seen it demonstrated on one of the TV talk shows, well not the actual cleaning, but the way to fold the paper.

1. Fold sheet diagonally in half, twice.
2. Tear off about 1cm from the apex and keep aside
3. Unfold sheet which now has a finger sized hole in the middle
4. Place finger through hole and use finger to clean
5. Discard paper
6. Get the apex piece out, which is pointy and firm. Use this to clean under the fingernail

May still be an old army joke:D

[Slunnie]

I have seen it demonstrated on one of the TV talk shows, well not the actual cleaning, but the way to fold the paper.

1. Fold sheet diagonally in half, twice.
2. Tear off about 1cm from the apex and keep aside
3. Unfold sheet which now has a finger sized hole in the middle
4. Place finger through hole and use finger to clean
5. Discard paper
6. Get the apex piece out, which is pointy and firm. Use this to clean under the fingernail

May still be an old army joke:D
I guess you find it funny that I also use a FRED as a tin opener too. :(

:D

[Quarks]

Rather than a phone book, try using an encyclopedia or almanac or something informative.

Sit down, relax, have a read, learn something new and interesting, tear it off, wipe, rejoin the world as a more educated man.

That's better than my long-time suggestion of printing the books you'd normally find beside a loo on the paper!!

(Although you would still only read it once, and then put it where it belongs afterward!) ;)

:)
Geoff

[landy63]

Not as thin as they make loo paper! :D

Thanks mate , just seeing if you were on the ball ,:):)

[Tank]

More than that I think ;)....but why worry? It's your poo in your hands, no-one else's :twisted:

Stop buying the cheap brands.....at the cost of dunny paper these days the free local rag is looking good eh? :D
Hospitals have the worst Loo Paper in the world, I'm sure it is made of Grease proof paper that has zero absorption, and is so rough you could sand your wooden floors with it, Regards Frank.

[Shonky]

LOL!

[stevo68]

Geez guys, just reading the posts here just makes my jaw drop!

We must be buying the premium stuff? As I have never even considered starting a thread on the topic :D X 2....the only time is if you have to go at a local park and you get the rice paper thin sheets, that instead of a nice wipe...you just get a smear and have to use the equivalent of a tree to get it back to normal again ;). Surprised the old "whose a scruncher and a folder" hasn't come up :D,

Regards

Stevo....a folder if you needed to know :p

[blurryone]

Rather than a phone book, try using an encyclopedia or almanac or something informative.

Sit down, relax, have a read, learn something new and interesting, tear it off, wipe, rejoin the world as a more educated man.

holy macril, i nearly wet me pants. :Rolling::Rolling::Rolling:

a scruncher. want a good inch worth between your hand and the business end.

[Shonky]

Scruncher. I used to get in trouble as a kid for scrunching a massive bundle almost the size of my backside itself!

[stevo68]

Scruncher. I used to get in trouble as a kid for scrunching a massive bundle almost the size of my backside itself! Sounds like my youngest, almost a whole frikin roll topped of with the obligitory bend over and "Daddy is my bum clean"...ah the pleasures of being a parent,

Regards

Stevo

[29dinosaur]

I think the Indian owners of LR will expect LR owners to do as they do: (all defenders will come with a new bucket):

https://www.aulro.com/afvb/

[stevo68]

I think the Indian owners of LR will expect LR owners to do as they do: (all defenders will come with a new bucket):

http://img2.travelblog.org/Photos/30306/142027/t/1005787-Indian-toilet-0.jpg Having been watching Kennys world and his pooescapades around the world, the dunny in the floor is the best way to take a crap....apparently. Something to do with the intestine and positioning, comes out better whereas our typical dunny we are bent over and therefore not as free flowing.........just thought some may find that interesting :angel::). Oh and you cant have a thread on Loo Paper without mentioning the good ol "Poo tickets" :D

Regards

Stevo

[stage1slave]

[quote=stevo68;834804]X 2....the only time is if you have to go at a local park and you get the rice paper thin sheets, that instead of a nice wipe... :D,


Yep, that sounds like the 'slip and miss' variety!
My ex navy father also used to talk of the tally ho method and then fold it right and you could then clean your finger nails, lol:D
cheers

[Bushie]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGc-1fuTQ2A


Martyn

[scarry]

http://img185.imageshack.us/img185/525/1141430ue7.jpg (http://imageshack.us)



These ones must be the good quality soft stuff:p