Idiots you know

[skidmark77]

just thinking about a funny story so i thought id post it here.
Coming home from work on a friday night once, i see a glazier (i think thats how you spell it....glass guy) in the drive and i think what the *&*@ is going on. at that moment i get a call from my housemate saying that glass broke in his room and the guy wouldnt be much longer. Later on i ask him what happened and he said he had tripped and hit the window. a bit later on another mate came over and we went in his room and started grilling him on what happened. "what the hell did you trip over man, there nothing on the ground" we eventually wore his resistance down and he admitted that he saw a fly in his room on the glass and grabbed a rolled up newspaper and took a swing at it. the rest is history. oh apparently he missed the fly, and it took off to freedom though the broken window. it cost him $275 dollars after hours on a friday.

please feel free to share more tales of your run ins with the mentally deficient

[TimNZ]

Idiots I know? Me! I drove for an hour and a half on Friday to fit a part to a machine, pulled into the customers carpark and got that sinking feeling... did I put the part in the car... no..... oh firetruck!

Tim

[DiscoStew]

We are all idiots at times. Some of us are more prone to share our idiocy than others. That's why I like Stevo's posts, he is happy to share all of his.

Probably the stupidest thing I have done was buy a LR without becoming a mechanic first :wasntme::oops2::nazibanned:

[Rangier Rover]

A fly and a paper can cause all that:eek:

Well speek of idiots. I am usualy very patient with people but this one tripped me a bit...

A lady dropped her car off here one morning for an Alpine head unit install. Well.... She came back to pick it up and The job wasn't done..... So then procedded to abuse me for some time:mad:.
I asked if she had finished..... Then I replied ... a bit hard to do an install when you locked the car and kept the keys for the day:mellow:

[V8Landy]

I once left my wife and her friend at the pub and went to another had a few drinks then came home.Being rather drunk i knocked on the door to get in expecting her to open the door no answer so i went around to the bedroom knocked on the window a bit hard and it broke.Climbed in the window and found she wasnt home yet oh thats right i left her at the pub,So i patched my minor cut's up and went to bed(laying in the glass):zzz:.Awoke the next day to a furious wife:bat: and found the key's in my pocket.:blush::blush::blush:

Yes i'm an idiot:TakeABow:

[Panda]

:Rolling::Rolling::Rolling::Rolling:


A fly and a paper can cause all that:eek:

Well speek of idiots. I am usualy very patient with people but this one tripped me a bit...

A lady dropped her car off here one morning for an Alpine head unit install. Well.... She came back to pick it up and The job wasn't done..... So then procedded to abuse me for some time:mad:.
I asked if she had finished..... Then I replied ... a bit hard to do an install when you locked the car and kept the keys for the day:mellow:

[Stuck]

I worked with a rigger (who liked to talk himself up no end) recently and he came back from the ute with a rattle gun. He yelled out to me did I know where the spare battery was for it. Before I had a chance to turn around I heard the site supervisor clue him in that if he plugged the lead that was coming out of the rattler into a power lead it should be ok. Another day he was operating a mobile crane and he noticed the parkbrake was stuck on and had smoke coming from it so he drove it 150 metres to show a leading hand and was told to park it up so he drove it another 250 metres to the smoko shed and parked it there because he wanted to get his drink bottle out of the fridge. I asked him why he didn't leave the machine when he first noticed the problem and his reply was "Tony, how can you expect to have machinery and not have it break down ?". The brake disc ended up like a soup bowl !. I might add that the bloke's 43 years old and it was was nearly worth going to work just to see what he was going to do next.
Cheers,
Anthony.

[Rangier Rover]

I worked with a rigger (who liked to talk himself up no end) recently and he came back from the ute with a rattle gun. He yelled out to me did I know where the spare battery was for it. Before I had a chance to turn around I heard the site supervisor clue him in that if he plugged the lead that was coming out of the rattler into a power lead it should be ok. Another day he was operating a mobile crane and he noticed the parkbrake was stuck on and had smoke coming from it so he drove it 150 metres to show a leading hand and was told to park it up so he drove it another 250 metres to the smoko shed and parked it there because he wanted to get his drink bottle out of the fridge. I asked him why he didn't leave the machine when he first noticed the problem and his reply was "Tony, how can you expect to have machinery and not have it break down ?". The brake disc ended up like a soup bowl !. I might add that the bloke's 43 years old and it was was nearly worth going to work just to see what he was going to do next.
Cheers,
Anthony.

:eek::eek: I thought only I had blokes like that working here.;)

[barney]

we've had a run of brain dead juniors in the office.
we service catering equipment.
one girl, Sarah, had to post a bill off, she asked the address of the customer and was told something like "245 george st" the boss and everyone else in the office knew that meant in the sydney cbd, she said "george st where? and the reply was "in the city"
the letter was addressed;-
XXXXXXXX
245 GEORGE ST
IN THE CITY.

more recently, one of the girls was telling me some job details and told me to contact chef when i got there. then she goes "is that his name?" of course, i went to say yes and ask if she'd ever seen south park and of course it's his name.

and finally, the other junior at work was looking at a report i did on something and signed it Matt Barnes, she said "Matt, is that short for Matthew?" the funniest part of this is that her boyfriend's name is Matt too.

[George130]

Where do I start.
I did a stupid thing, it all began when I was born and I'm still doing them.

I drove the Defender 80km with the hand brake on:eek:.

When drunk one night I walk up to a mates car bent down to the window to talk to him. Had a 30 min argument about how he managed to be on the wrong side of the car:angel:. I still can't live tht one down 15 years later.

[Utemad]

Idiots I know? Me! I drove for an hour and a half on Friday to fit a part to a machine, pulled into the customers carpark and got that sinking feeling... did I put the part in the car... no..... oh firetruck!

Tim


I've done that........twice.

[Frenchie]

I lived in a residential college at uni, one of the girls was sitting on her window sill in a second floor room, leaned backwards, fell out.

Luckily she landed in a shrub and was realtively unhurt.

Later, while describing to someone else how the incident happened, she gave a practical demonstration - sat down, leaned back, fell out. :eek:

[Pedro_The_Swift]

:Rolling::Rolling::Rolling:


I lived in a residential college at uni, one of the girls was sitting on her window sill in a second floor room, leaned backwards, fell out.

Luckily she landed in a shrub and was realtively unhurt.

Later, while describing to someone else how the incident happened, she gave a practical demonstration - sat down, leaned back, fell out. :eek:

[29dinosaur]

My Australian friend and I were visiting an Indian friend in India. Our Indian friend took us around to a hospital where one of his Indian friends was lying covered up with only his head showing. This bed ridden fellow had been involved in a serious motor scooter accident in rural village and was recovering from surgery. It was a indeed a very serious, sombre scene and it was late and night and the lighting was poor. I wasn't sure of the extent of this blokes injuries until someone pulled back the bedsheets to show the extent of this poor blokes injuries.. It was then I wisely stated "Oh he has fractured back leg". My Australian friend and I looked at one another and we both burst into laughter at my foolish veterinarian gaff, (.. well it could have been a front leg I suppose)... but our Hindi speaking friends didn't understand why these crazy Australians were laughing... It looked like we were laughing at this poor bloke lying there with his broken leg.... Fancy these stupid white men laughing at someone in such a bad predicament.... Boy did I feel like an idiot...




(Oh what can you expect from the uni student falling out the window ... she was probably pickled).

[simonl8353]

Many many years ago, riding my pushbike home from school, up a steep hill and past all the other pupils, mates, enemies on foot, head down going as fast as I could to show how tuff I was.....straight into the back of a parked car

:eek2:

[Bigbjorn]

A large cane farming enterprise I once did quite a bit of work for, had a field hand who had so many accidents that the Worker's Compensation Board had declared him accident prone, and struck a special premium for his coverage. The WCB rep indicated that if they had any choice in the matter they would not cover him. He had not been able to get motor vehicle comprehensive insurance for years. The poor bugger was highly regarded as a loyal and industrious employee, but like Second Lieutenants, not to be trusted with live ammunition or machinery. Hard working but thick as two short planks.

[Sly]

I cleaned/serviced the pumps in a sewer pump station,after isolating the power ofcourse.Returned to a near by street 3 days later for a callout to a blocked sewer/property connection. While waiting for the vac truck and jetting unit I ordered to show up,I checked out the pump station and the power was still isolated:toilet:.

Worked with a tanky who after helping me get the battery charging genset (vw donk) going, was standing there with cable in hand and asks me Is it charging ? Try it with your tounge , I replyed !
AND he whent to do it:eek:.

[RobHay]

I pick up the new car around june last year, next day took off for Dubbo to take kids to the zoo. Commented to the good lady wife about the wonderful pick up the vehicle had, just had to touch the pedal and zoooommmmmmm off she would fly very very torquey, and speed ...........had to watch it as vehicle just loved anything over 100 klm / h.

Drove around Dubbo for 3 days and then back home, round trip tad over 2000 klm.

Got home and then eventally sat down to read the manuels that came with the vehicle...it was then that I discovered that it was a 4 speed auto and I had been driving with it in 3rd:angel::wasntme:

[Landy110]

I lived in a residential college at uni, one of the girls was sitting on her window sill in a second floor room, leaned backwards, fell out.

Luckily she landed in a shrub and was realtively unhurt.

Later, while describing to someone else how the incident happened, she gave a practical demonstration - sat down, leaned back, fell out. :eek:

BLONDE ???

I had a boss years ago that wanted me to fax something to Head Office but said " Make a photocopy first because I want to keep it "

A bloke who's brother I knew, stole a new trail bike from a dealer years ago, he took it back a month later for warranty work !!!!!!

[mickashay]

me and stirling,thought it would be a good idea to drive gently annie at night in the rain,a few hours later and a bit of winching and winching and a downhill winch:eek: and a front brake problem we made it .idiots

[stevo68]

We are all idiots at times. Some of us are more prone to share our idiocy than others. That's why I like Stevo's posts, he is happy to share all of his.

Probably the stupidest thing I have done was buy a LR without becoming a mechanic first :wasntme::oops2::nazibanned:Oiii :p, just came across this thread....why I orrtttaaaa.....you coming to AGM on Thursday :twisted:. Can't really argue, I am prone to doing stupid things....so tend to learn heaps as well :D,

Regards

Stevo

[Bigbjorn]

Around 1963, I pulled the stuffed master cylinder out of a 1940 Plymouth. This was built before the days of pendant pedals and had under-floor pivoted pedals. The cylinder was tucked inside the chassis channel. With a crossmember and pedals all in the viciity, getting it out was a real task, tilt it this way, angle it this much, rotate it the required amount, hold the correct facial expression and protrusion of tongue, much bad language and eventually out it comes. Getting it back in proved impossible. no amount of fiddling, pushing, swearing helped. In desperation I called on a mate who did his apprenticeship at the local Chrysler dealer and still worked there. He said that is dead easy, just goes back in no trouble. I assured him this was not so, and he came around after work to see what I was doing wrong. "Why have you not taken the floor out" says he. Never having lifted the front floor mat I was unaware that the whole front floor from side to side came out in one piece after undoing a number of screws. Five minutes to remove the floor and less to put the cylinder back in place.

[Chenz]

Used to take a Halvorsen Cruiser out every August Bank Holiday weekend with a group of blokes for a social boys only bonding session. Saturday afternoon after a couple of cleansing ales at the Anglers Rest in Brooklyn we would head to find a place to anchor up for the night. One popular spot was near a small beach that we used to row into and have a BBQ.

One guy decided that rowing in was too much hassle so proceeded to drive 36 feet of wooden boat falt stick up onto the beach. This would have been OK if it had been low tide as the rising tide would have floated it off. It was however high tide and it was stuck solid.

All hands to the hull pushing and pulling until we realised it was there for the night. As it was high and dry the skipper - read idiot says, "At least it is still upright" at which time it keeled over onto its side.

This meant we had to wait until 4am to try and float if off on a lower tide. Anyway lets have a BBQ to cheer ourselves up. Light the fire, put on the hotplate and on with the snags. Everyone is looking forward to sausage sanga. The fire was however too warm so idiot decides to kick sand onto it to dull it down. You guessed it all over the snags. Now we have no place to sleep and gritty snags.

We got the boat off but not before we all had to get into the water up to our waists and push in the middle of winter.

I really miss those Halvo weekends

[45tr0]

I lived in a residential college at uni, one of the girls was sitting on her window sill in a second floor room, leaned backwards, fell out.


Wouldn't have been Griffith would it?

In my day the game was this:

after a few encouraging beverages, throw on a set of motorbike leathers, gloves and Helmet, then take a flying leap from the second floor window of the dorm out into the gum trees nestled close to the building, and hope you were part Koala.

Was a fun game too, until one night a new american bloke, full of grog and keen to have a go, jumped out a window the wrong side of the building... straight into the open carpark. Luckily for him Hyundai Excel's have a nice soft roof...