The average mole...

[Grockle]

...can dig a hole 300 feet long in one night !

[V8Ian]

...can dig a hole 300 feet long in one night !
Horizontal or vertical? Straight or curved? Are the corners banked? I cannot stand being fed snippets, if you are desirous of sharing facts/showing off your knowledge, then give us all the relevant details please.:confused::angel::p

[V8Ian]

Is that before or after he's spotted the mole catcher?
Darned good point NM:D

[miky]

Photos... we need photos :rulez:

[Basil135]

I knew this mole once that managed to dig it's way right thru my savings account :eek:

[clean32]

Is that before or after he's spotted the mole catcher?

silly question, Moles are blind

[It'sNotWorthComplaining!]

Photos... we need photos :rulez:
Photos... we need photos :rulez:
Photos... we need photos :rulez:

[Ferret]

What species of mole are you talking about.

[Outlaw]

I knew this mole once that managed to dig it's way right thru my savings account :eek:
:Rolling:

[carjunkieanon]

If one mole can dig a hole in a night, how long does it take two moles to dig half a hole?





r

[Basil135]

I knew this Scottish mole once.

He would spend all night singing - "Mole of Kintyre"....:p








Sorry about that, it had to be done...:D

[Yorkie]

YouTube - Jasper Carrott - The Mole - Animated

cheers
yorkie :D

[Landy Smurf]

[QUOTE=cooper;1059885]Hey G-rock,I can call him that,we are buddies
:Rolling:

[Chucaro]

Q: What do you get when you have a Company of moles acting like idiots in their Citadels?
A: MoleAsses

[Grockle]

Horizontal or vertical? Straight or curved? Are the corners banked? I cannot stand being fed snippets, if you are desirous of sharing facts/showing off your knowledge, then give us all the relevant details please.:confused::angel::p

Well it depends on where the mole comes from,one from the north side of Kinder Scout is measured from just behind it's nostrils to the tip of it's tail and from it's outstreched front feet to just before the nail.

Weight is determined by the size of it's head,ie a 4" diameter one approx 3 lbs is called a 'Kinger' going down by Queenie,Butler to a Waster which is 1"

The 'hole' should be as straight as possible buttressed where needed along with steel banding simular to that used in the Butterly Tunnel (where the Cromford Canal goes under Butterly Foundry) any deviation ie slight bend will be measured by the string method,the time allowed is from sun set to sun rise(in the event of poor visabilty for the judges,the time allowed is by the time taken to walk from Bakewell to Buxton carring a weeks shopping for two people) on the 23 of November 1954 a Kinger from the Alport Castles area did 306' without a break,only then stopping when a small worm fell into his left ear.

Other areas could be different.

[The ho har's]

Just a quick question






















do we now have the star...skulls...and now the mole thread to contend with:o


Mrs ho har:angel:

[snowbound]

Hey G-rock,I can call him that,we are buddies,who got the government grant to define"average" in the mole world.How did they do it?Did they have a mole olympics or just conduct a mole poll.

That information was top secret, don't tell me there is a mole!

[snowbound]

:p
Well it depends on where the mole comes from,one from the north side of Kinder Scout is measured from just behind it's nostrils to the tip of it's tail and from it's outstreched front feet to just before the nail.

Weight is determined by the size of it's head,ie a 4" diameter one approx 3 lbs is called a 'Kinger' going down by Queenie,Butler to a Waster which is 1"

The 'hole' should be as straight as possible buttressed where needed along with steel banding simular to that used in the Butterly Tunnel (where the Cromford Canal goes under Butterly Foundry) any deviation ie slight bend will be measured by the string method,the time allowed is from sun set to sun rise(in the event of poor visabilty for the judges,the time allowed is by the time taken to walk from Bakewell to Buxton carring a weeks shopping for two people) on the 23 of November 1954 a Kinger from the Alport Castles area did 306' without a break,only then stopping when a small worm fell into his left ear.

Other areas could be different.

LMFAO!

[Grockle]

And we cannot blame Panda for this onehttps://www.aulro.com/afvb/ (http://freesmileyface.net)

I think they'll all just molealong together:wasntme:

[Chucaro]

Some of the "Brains" in AULRO are going to expand on this:
A mole is defined as the quantity of a substance that has the same number of particles as are found in 12.000 grams of carbon-12. :D

[Grockle]

You could keep them together by wrapping them in self amoleating tape.http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-char020.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

And don't forget the famous saying by ex mole racer Ted Jervis of
Heptonstall West Yorkshire.

Theirs no mole like an old mole.

Thanks Ted.

[Grockle]

Did not the legend known as Ted get suspended from racing because he was using illegal see through blinkers?http://freesmileyface.net/smiley/Surprise/surprised-021.gif (http://freesmileyface.net/Free-Surprise-Smileys.html)

Not far off me owd mucker,he was caught fitting his champion 'Ivan 11' with a high powered hearing aid,which in it's self is allowed on moles of 63 and above as long as they are registered as 'partially eared'with the committee, but Ted being Ted used his own hearing aids which he got through the NHS and as such got excomunicated from all events from that day on.(3 March 1975).

He said on leaving the Old Bailey in London,after being bound over for 6 months and having to give his hearing aids back."what"

[Grockle]

I'm assuming Ted was allowed to take his moles with him even if he did have to hand in the hearing aids.

Not that they were much use though as they were later seen gracing the smelly feet of the old mole catcher

https://www.aulro.com/afvb/images/imported/2009/09/1580.jpg

The mole catcher was one of the court ushers(the swine)he did this after they were made award of court!

PS, they were Kingers too !

[loanrangie]

And the average (very average ) rural mole can produce 4 offspring before they turn 21 :D.

[willem]

Some of the "Brains" in AULRO are going to expand on this:
A mole is defined as the quantity of a substance that has the same number of particles as are found in 12.000 grams of carbon-12. :D

I knew someone would start with the molecular science sooner or later! :D

Willem

[Grockle]

And the average (very average ) rural mole can produce 4 offspring before they turn 21 :D.

Standard or 2" lift,90 or 110 ?

[Grockle]

Had to let a small family in last night after there hole was flooded,poor little buggers were half frozen,after making them some bacon butties they settled down in the vacuum hose,god they don't half snore.

[Grockle]

Must have been pygmy moles to get in the vac. hose. Very rare the pygmy mole,was believed extinct until Prince Charles found one in his Y-fronts.

It was his bathing and nether region man servant(Sir Angus mcNulty),who spotted it whilst His Horseness was being releaved of some of the royal wee

[Grockle]

Are we using the royal'We',or are we weeing the royal wee?Or just taking the wee out of royalty?

Er, all the above.

[V8Landy]

I believe i have one:eek::p

[V8Ian]

JOHN(MOLE)HOLMES.http://freesmileyface.net/smiley/Laughing/lol-060.gif (http://freesmileyface.net/Free-Laughing-Smileys.html)
Have they turned him into a pair of slippers too? :o:cool:

[V8Landy]

one what? :eek:

Not game to say now.:p:p:p

[V8Ian]

Maybe just as well.......how about one of these in your pants
http://freesmileyface.net/smiley/MSN-Emoticons/MSN-Emoticon-trex-071.gif (http://freesmileyface.net)
How old do you think he is?:twisted:

[V8Ian]

V8Landy? or me old mate tyanny?
You have an old tranny mate?:o

[Grockle]

Probably just as well it was the pygmy mole and not a Kinger! Imagine walking around with 3lbs of mole in your Y fronts :eek: besides which HRH his Horsiness doesn't qualify as King as yet


You have an old tranny mate?:o

Uncle Potter has a 1970(H rego) ex Lancashire Police Ford (Trany)Transit Custom Cab long wheelbase once used on a royal visit to transport HRH Horsiness's dinner and the corgi's around,does that count ?