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View Full Version : I mean...How dumb can ya wife be


RobHay
23rd November 2009, 01:57 AM
This morning was up at 0330 hours to go to work ( 15 minutes away, I know some of you may know that we work 0700-1900 or 0600-1800) but it is a long storey and I had to be there early, got home at 1830 (6:30pm for all you civilian types and for all you RAAF boys the little hand is on the 6 and the big hand is on the 6 too, as well, hard to comprehend, :( I know) .....anyway I digress, got home had to roll around on the floor just inside the door with the dog......he insists on it, finally was able to satisfy his desire to give me a great WELCOME HOME BOSS......managed to pat the wife on the head then had to go back out as she spent most of the day down at the shops.....but had forgotten to get what it was she went down there to get. Get back home, after being abused by 2 'gentlemen' decorated in tats, (Note to self: Check the mug shots when next on duty)
get just inside the front door and the dog insists I roll around on the floor with him so he can welcome me home as he forgot he had just done that, well after all he is blonde.......Spent hour on phone to internal secret police describing two gentlemen and make and number plates on car.....they gonna be in for a big surprise, geeezzzzzzz I hope they on parole:nazilock:.

Managed to get into bedroom without any of the daughters wanting to discuss the most of important things with me and divested myself of my uniform, retrieved my comfy shorts from under the bed where I hid them to stop the 'little lady' from washing them. Wife and daughters all in lounge room eyes glued to TV ( Australian Idol...last show)...... Wife calls out "Darling! I put your coffe mug on the kitchen counter....and your dinner is in a can in the cupboard"......'Oh Thank You... Turtle Dove! " says I....well ya have to talk this way to any woman who can out shoot you with your own weapon of choice....I mean I am not completely stupid.

I note that MY COMPUTER does not have a female version of myself attached to it so I take the opportunity of sitting at MY DESK and I turn on MY COMPUTER, spend some time surfing through Queensland Courts....Supreme Courts Trial transcripts.... Yep I was right the decorated ones are in for big big surprise......I am not all that mean....I will ensure that they get extra scoop of ice-cream for Xmas Lunch:D;)

Swing over to AULRO and have a troll around.... put up post about rosters and by this stage it is 2345 ( Quarter to Midnight for all you civilans and for all you RAAF boys ...well its 5 hours past your bedtime.)

Eyes are starting to bulge out of my head by this stage, brain is attempting to shut down unbidden, but I am off work to-morrow so am enjoying uninterrupted access to MY COMPUTER... Aaaaahhhh Haaaaaa says I... a nice cup of coffee will hit the spot... go to kitchen, observe very distinctive coffee cup on kitchen counter where ever loving and long stuffering wife stated that she had left it for me, turn on jug, get teaspoon from drawer and take up coffee container, spoon out one heaped teaspoon of coffee, replace coffee container and take up sugar canister....two teaspoons of sugar follow the coffee....replace sugar canister...go to 'fridge retrieve milk (3 litre variety) remove cap and go to pour milk into very distintive coffe mug.....at back of brain alarm bell starting to tinkle....something not quite right...not sure what.....then it hits me...the little lady, the love of my life, sweetpea , she of the perfect score :mad:....placed my coffee cup on the friggin counter UPSIDE DOWN.........I mean! WTF! I think I will clean up the mess in the morning after I have had some sleep
Jamo
23rd November 2009, 02:28 AM
I would clean up the mess before anyone notices!
jplambs
23rd November 2009, 03:13 AM
hahahaha, sorry, but that was a great read. Tell me what's with the digs at the RAAF? An internal thing?
Rosscoe68
23rd November 2009, 08:41 AM
bwahah, best post on here for ages :)
Sprint
23rd November 2009, 08:46 AM
well..... the grunts in green generally know what time it is, especially if theres an airstrike called in.... 0630 and 1830 are both dangerous times to be outside a bunker if theres an airstrike planned by EITHER side..... plus the fly boys are usually to immersed in thier brylcreem and mirror to bother with the time!

the navy types generally settle for shelling anyone and everyone regardless of the time of day, hence the lack of an explaination of the times for them.....

civilians generally dont recognise a 24hr clock....
Cap
23rd November 2009, 09:58 AM
RAAF - Rarely Available After Five as my mate, who is in the RAAF, would say :)

Nice read, you can still have coffee, but it will be a VERY quick drink..
p38arover
23rd November 2009, 10:17 AM
Bloody women!

Mine does something similar - she insists on leaving the clear, domed plastic top on the coffee grinder. When I go to put in a scoop of beans, they scatter all over the floor! :mad:
clean32
23rd November 2009, 10:24 AM
Bloody women!

Mine does something similar - she insists on leaving the clear, domed plastic top on the coffee grinder. When I go to put in a scoop of beans, they scatter all over the floor! :mad:

just like leaving the toilet seat down, leaving a small orifice to aim though, THEN they complain if the seat is wet.

illogical at best
incisor
23rd November 2009, 10:42 AM
I mean...How dumb can ya wife be


answered your own question i think :p:angel:
p38arover
23rd November 2009, 10:50 AM
answered your own question i think :p:angel:


'Cos she married Rob? :D
Bigbjorn
23rd November 2009, 11:03 AM
RAAF - Rarely Available After Five as my mate, who is in the RAAF, would say :)



In my youth I worked with a number of former ex-2nd AIF veterans. They all reckoned if they had to go again it would be as a blue orchid. Orchids lived in huts not holes in the ground, got three hot squares a day, clean uniforms, kept office hours, took umbrage at afterhours call-outs, or when asked to perform in inclement weather.
Jamo
23rd November 2009, 03:32 PM
My Grandad used to say "Never question your wife's judgement! Look who she married!"
vnx205
23rd November 2009, 03:51 PM
I mean...How dumb can ya wife be?

You're right. She would have to be pretty dumb to forget that she is married to someone who can't tell whether a mug has been placed on the bench right way up or upside down. :p
Pedro_The_Swift
23rd November 2009, 05:57 PM
I mean...How dumb can ya wife be?

You're right. She would have to be pretty dumb to forget that she is married to someone who can't tell whether a mug has been placed on the bench right way up or upside down. :p


He's got you there Rob:p
disco_mitch
23rd November 2009, 06:07 PM
hate to be the bearer of bad news but the rant about your wife has kinda shot yourself down in flames

but either way i had a bloody good laugh at it
vnx205
23rd November 2009, 06:17 PM
hate to be the bearer of bad news but the rant about your wife has kinda shot yourself down in flames

but either way i had a bloody good laugh at it

To be fair to Rob, I'm sure he was quite aware when he posted his amusing anecdote, that he was letting us all have a laugh at his expense.

However that shouldn't stop any of us having a shot at him while we have the chance. :p
muddy
23rd November 2009, 07:52 PM
Where do we place the cardboard cutout for the next shoot out !!!!!!!!:angel:
subasurf
23rd November 2009, 10:16 PM
Beat your wife tonight. Not to badly, but enough to teach her a lesson.
If it happens again...kill her.

Do NOT tolerate this kind of crap.
p38arover
23rd November 2009, 11:04 PM
Beat your wife tonight. Not to badly, but enough to teach her a lesson.
If it happens again...kill her.

Do NOT tolerate this kind of crap.

Pfft! There speaks a man who is either (a) not married or (b) out of earshot of his wife!
LandyAndy
23rd November 2009, 11:35 PM
OR HAS A SET OF BRASS BALLS:cool::cool::cool::cool:
Andrew
Pedro_The_Swift
24th November 2009, 07:22 AM
Pfft! There speaks a man who is either (a) not married or (b) out of earshot of his wife!

or has never seen Robs missus shoot!!!:o:rocket:
Shonky
24th November 2009, 07:48 AM
Beat your wife tonight. Not to badly, but enough to teach her a lesson.
If it happens again...kill her.

Do NOT tolerate this kind of crap.

You want to try and beat up a lass who packs a handgun?

...after you! :lol2:
Blknight.aus
24th November 2009, 07:48 AM
remember

the Army sleeps under them
The navy navigates by them
and the RAAF? well we choose our accomodation based on them.

I like sticking it to the adgies and the grunts when they call us out to go play on exercise with them.

hootchie whats one of those, oh you mean a swag?

hexamine? thats a gas cooker right.

Canteen? oh yeah Ive been there, its just down the road a bit the cokes really cold and IF I ring ahead they put a couple in the freezer for me.

Yep certainly a lot better than the way I used to operate.

The female support staff seriously hate me when I arc up the shower.
Zute
24th November 2009, 07:50 AM
How dumb is she ? well, are you sure she didn't do it on purpose ?

Some where on another forum; "How dumb is he, Got hubby a beuty yesterday. Too stupid to see which way he's coffe cup is sitting.
Benny_IIA
24th November 2009, 10:17 AM
How dumb is she ? well, are you sure she didn't do it on purpose ?

Some where on another forum; "How dumb is he, Got hubby a beuty yesterday. Too stupid to see which way he's coffe cup is sitting.
:Rolling:
vnx205
24th November 2009, 11:16 AM
remember

the Army sleeps under them
The navy navigates by them
and the RAAF? well we choose our accomodation based on them.

I like sticking it to the adgies and the grunts when they call us out to go play on exercise with them.

hootchie whats one of those, oh you mean a swag?

hexamine? thats a gas cooker right.

Canteen? oh yeah Ive been there, its just down the road a bit the cokes really cold and IF I ring ahead they put a couple in the freezer for me.

Yep certainly a lot better than the way I used to operate.

The female support staff seriously hate me when I arc up the shower.

Maybe things have always been a bit different for the RAAF and other Air Forces.

My father-in-law was a member of the Empire Air Force during WWII, recruited in Australia, trained in Canada and based in England. He flew as a navigator on bombing raids over Germany.

He didn't talk much about the war, but he did mention that it was quite a strange existence. He said that often he returned from a raid with all of its attendant risks to life and limb and then went to the theatre in London that night. The two experiences seemed worlds apart.

Looks like nothing has changed. :p
DiscoStew
26th November 2009, 01:27 AM
My question is why are you patting your wife on the head and rolling on the floor with your dog. Should be the other way around:p