for me 30 - 87 are perpendicular(contact) and 85 - 86 parallel(coil) if on R4 INTERIOR FUSEBOX you dont have power across 85 - 86 while you crank it that's the reason to not have sparks as that relay feeds the ignition coils and this relay is completely managed by the ECU which if misses the crank signal(no rpm reading) it inhibits the sparks and injectors... a complex electrical trouboeshooing is needed done by somebody know how it works and can follow the diagram to see if the signal doesnt leave the ECU or it does but not reaching the relay and why the rpm is not shown, i can't help more from distance with this fault sorry... the ECU is quite suspect at this point but nanocom or similar is needed to rule it out
in a nutshell, you must get about 250 rpm reading with scanner while cranking otherwise it will never start but i can't tell how to achieve that without being there myself

