Printable View
So true.Quote:
Originally Posted by THE BOOGER
And there is a variance between aussie and kiwi humor.
just for It'sNotWorthComplaining!
You know that you are in CH CH
When aussie cops arrest aussie looters. (only happens in CH CH)
When a cop says FREEZE or ill shoot , while pointing a finger at you.
How do you tell the difference between an aussie cop and a kiwi cop? the aussie cop is the short one.
Ill think of some more shortly
Sorry Mate not correct for everyone , I just attended and was a pall bearer of the funeral today of my friend of 22 years today who was killed by Rocks in the earthquake who was buried after a very difficult two weeks for us all and watching both sides of a family cope with that and knowing him well I can say he would have loved that humour.Quote:
Originally Posted by It'sNotWorthComplaining!
He was a great Landrover man also and used his Defender in a last act of kindness that was him all over
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/ar...ectid=10710702
Good on ya Jimbo, that you can laugh at yourself in the face of adversity is great instead of dooming and glooming. Humour is never too early.
There is a bloke who gave 4wding a good name!
A terrible shame, but good to know that a bloke has showed everyone
far and wide how good a bloke he truely was when he was needed.
RIP.
The coffin and the use of the defender is a great touch by friends and family... obviously a man well loved/liked.
(PS:- SADLY SPELL CHECK MISSES SOME BITS (UNDERSTANDABLY) IN ARTICLES SUCH AS THIS BUT EDITORS ETC YOU THINK WOULD PICK IT UP -- He was driven through a guard of honour in his much loved Land Drover - made famous for the lives it saved.)
[QUOTE=85 county;1440737]
How do you tell the difference between an aussie cop and a kiwi cop? the aussie cop is the short one.
The Aussie cop will be working at catching the looters as instructed, whilst the Kiwi cop (allegedly taller) will be dealing with his instructions, "at his traffic point" like he was told.... making all the ewes turn!! :angel:
OK sorry! (but you started it "county!!" you kiwi lads are pretty proud so I hope you can forgive me, I couldnt resist)
(I wont even contemplate putting the joke EARTHQUAKE SAFETY tips another Kiwi mate sent me (he's in Wanganui) )
EARTHQUAKE SAFETY TIPS
Earthquakes can strike without warning, and being prepared for such a disaster can mean the difference between life and death.
Here are some tips to help you and your loved ones make it through a quake:
- Those living in areas not prone to earthquakes can respond quickly to the plight of disaster victims in quake zones by complacently smirking and saying, "I told you so."
- To minimize loss and damage in a quake, try not to own things.
- Experiencing an earthquake is terrifying, but a majority of people caught in one do survive. During the tremors, try to resist the temptation to have sex with pets or houseplants.
- Practice your burrowing-out-from-under-40-tons-of-rubble skills ahead of time.
- Look out your window often. If you see a large, zig-zag-shaped crevasse moving rapidly from the horizon toward your home, step either to the right or the left.
- Do you have a treasured childhood toy? Perhaps a stuffed animal, such as a teddy bear? Well, let's see Mr. Bear help you now.
- For those who fear earthquakes, it may comfort you to know that a majority of the damage during the 1906 San Francisco earthquake did not come from the tremors themselves. Instead, it was from the raging, out-of-control fires that consumed most of the city.
- A doorway is the safest place to be during a quake. Eat, sleep and work in doorways.
- Be sure to mail your house insurance payments a full five business days before a major earthquake strikes.
- In the event of a quake, get under something heavy, such as a desk, a table or your uncle.
I remember when the earthquake hit Port Adelaide...
EARTHQUAKE ROCKS PORT ADELAIDE:
A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit in the early hours of yesterday morning, with the epicentre in Port Adelaide, SA.
The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately $30 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from the Torana Appreciation Society and the Port Adelaide Progress Hall were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.
Many locals were woken well before their welfare cheques arrived. one resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying.
My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Jerry Springer the next morning".
Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime carried on as normal.
The Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Vegemite and 70,000 bottles of Home Brew to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, Port Power jerseys,
jewellery from Priceline and bone china from Go Lo.
HOW YOU CAN HELP
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after.
Items most needed include: baseball caps, flannelette shirts, thongs and tracksuits.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include, Yiros' , McDonalds, KFC, ice cream and cans of Woodstock Bourbon or Bacardi Breezers.
If you would prefer to donate money, 25c buys a biro for filling in
compensation forms; $5.00 buys chips, battered fish, crisps and fizzy drinks for a family of 9; $10.00 will pay for a packet of Winfield Blues and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
PLEASE do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population of the neighbouring areas
[quote=digger;1440936]Nah the Ozzie cops over here in christchurch do not make Ewes turn, they make the Ewes eyes roll the back of their heads, typical Ozzies abroad, shagging all the sheep!!!:wasntme:Quote:
Originally Posted by 85 county
[quote=sashadidi;1440940]you know what they say.... women are OK but they arent as good as the real thing!!:eek::angel::angel::angel:Quote:
Originally Posted by digger
OK Im finished now!
Fair Cop........... odviously not an SA oneQuote:
Originally Posted by digger
all good.
the aussie cops are pulling night shifts, with the kiwi cops doing a lot of the PR pat on the back cry on my sholder stuff. neather job i would like to do. ADD to that. Many off the kiwi cops have losed friends ( 1/2 doz lost partners & family)
there is a lot of day light hours at this time of year. which always makes it harder to get a good nights sleep as well as the stress, as you would exspect. domestic strife is though the roof, the aussie cops are aquiting them selfs exceddingly well in this respect. there was a bit of disscustion before hand along the lines of only having the kiwis handle these types of instances. i think the lower stress levels in the aussie cops ( not personly involved) and the fact that there is a general fealing of thankfulenees towords the aussie cops. puts them in good steed.
Lastly the SA cops that i have had dealings with seem to be awoed to excersise more descrestion than a kiwi cop. good qualitys in this sort of sanerio
and yes SA aussie cops are shorter, i have only meet one SA cop who could stand over me. SS at Norwood. nice guy but a bit of a Rupert. Makes me write my own Dear Coroners Letters
ewes may do Ewe turn for a kiw cop. but thay just tun around and smile for an aussie cop
Why, we had jokes going round about the space shuttle before the thing hit the water...Quote:
Originally Posted by It'sNotWorthComplaining!
I saw some of that list inside of 48 hours
Maybe we Cantabrians are different;)
Where else would you get someone willing to pay $60,000 for a rock that rolled through a house.
Landscape Rocks for Sale in ChCh for sale - TradeMe.co.nz - New Zealand
The story http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/ar...ectid=10710713
Have a read of the auction questions and answers, you will p*** your self.
If we don't laugh we will cry, we are sick to death of crying...........:(