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To put my 20cents worth in the lolly jar.... I'm in hiring/firing in education and theres a few things I've learnt from many industries and its ALL the same regardless.
1. If they want someone internal, already lined up, no matter how good you are, the internal has it.
2. Companies these days, due to the changing ideals and short-term-ness of Gen X,Y and Z's, are looking to secure the business culture and reputation for the long term and as current Generations chop and change jobs and career so much, stability and long term commitement is SO important as it save big $$$$ in the long run and also save management HEAPS of time in training and support and development of new staff. So, in short, if theres someone internal who already has shown loyalty and trust etc, they will get it over someone external even with better qualifications and experience. Theres a huge push for "succession planning" these days and it has its benefits for those in the company, not those outside wanting to get in or move up from another company into a new one.
3. Compaines look for a person they like and if you dont fit that bill, regardless of your training, experience or anything else, its the "person". They say 80% of a job is interpersonal and the other 20% is technical. ANyone can learn the 20% so again it comes down to a personality/persona/character/connection.
Comes back to the age old adage... Its not what you know, its WHO you know. Very Very true and good for those in the inner circle, bad for those not.
Finally, we had a guy hear who couldnt teach or organise himself out of a wet paper bag. He left, worked at another school down the road for 3 years. They advertised for a Senior Management position basically organising the whole 1500 student school. One of our current management went for it, so did the other guy who had been here previously and then went there for a few years. Guess what...he got it even with NO management experience.
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Although I'm not in that industry, I have taught people how to write these things, and would be happy to have a look if you send it to me. I would be focussing on the language aspects.