Serious help needed

The issue is her confidence,she has been instilled with a lack of self worth by her parents, they should be the people in ones life you can depend upon when you are in strife, also the abused feel inadequate to stand up to there abusers, which in effect compounds the effect of the abuse mentally.

If she has the mental fortitude to escape by leaving with her partner she may well be able to get the strength to reflect over time and seek assistance from the law.

Sadly I have seen many cases where peoples inability to stand up to their abuser ends in an extreme circumstance, sometimes with the abused person doing time for an extreme action when they snap and knock off the abuser.

She surely needs to have any psych assistance she can get
Regards Andy

As you have indicated moving is out of the question, is it possible for her to change her habits or routine, by this I mean if the town is big enough she could change shopping centers, service stations and other outlets so as to avoid bumping into the parents.

Keep up the good work though mate.

I agree with all that has been said so far. But unfortunatly your friend has to be ready to make the break from her parents. AVO yes, Charges yes, Move possibly. She has to make the descision. And until she is ready all you can do is be there for her. Know what you would like to do but you would end up up going time.

I have a friend where 2 out of 3 sisters were molested by stepfather. She rearly speaks with her mother or sisters. The **** head was also a friend , now have nothing to do with him. If others had known at the time he wouldn't be around now thats for sure.

In the long run your friend has to decide which is more important, Her sanity or her parents. Only she can make that decision & only when she is ready.

Gary

Thanks for all the replies and a bit more detail.

My wife and a number of this woman’s friends were talking about ( I’ll call her Sheila ) Sheila about 3 or 4 years ago, when Sheila had to go back to hospital again.

None of her friends could understand why she was having so many problems when she didn’t seem to have a care in the world and because she was always helping her friends, they were always there for her.

Then, during the chat her friends were having, one of the girls let it slip that her father had molested her when her was 11.

At that time, that was all that was known.

Then last night was a girls only night and after what her mother had done yesterday after, last night Sheila broke down and told all her friends the full store.

Now as I posted earlier, Sheila did go to the police, not long after the incidents took place, but back then, things were done differently and she was asked what she wanted to do while her mother was present.

You get the picture.

On top of everything else, she lives only a few doors from her parents and her mother is doing everything in her power to poison her 10 year old son against her.

A lot of phone calls have been made today and moving may now be a real option as she has a number of friends in another city, way down south, so her friends up here are trying to see what can be arranged without Sheila being aware, at this stage.

With just a bit of luck, her mothers latest rage may very well bring her mother and father down once and for all.

Moving is a must, even if its only to the other side of town. Sheila wont be able to build a better life while she lives down the road. She will have enough with what's going on in her head without constantly running into them.
She also has to be strong and cut the boy from her parents and fill his life with love and support, otherwise he will be be confused and problematic later on. The divorce will have enough impact on its own without her parents chipping in. It sounds like she has enough good mates to love and support her. It can be a long and tireing road and sometimes the load needs sharing. So good on you Tim.
Can she mend things with her ex? I know that is two battles and with a move perhaps 3. However would be a good outcome but a big risk and big ask. Or at best keep there relationship positive as she will need to get his consent to take the boy away interstate.

good on you Tim for being there, I can only wish for you and Sheila good luck and a happy and long lasting outcome.

People who are molested rarely wish to go through with the prosecution of the person who did it, it's a bit of a minefield, time does not heal it and don't think the victim will think rational about it or the offender

I've been through the aftermath of an unsettled victim, with the wonderful mental health issues that go with it, hard work albeit, moved away from the offender some years ago, but as it was a family member and kept hush, her choice, was still seen at Xmas etc

Anyhow, my theory of through an aulro fund raiser we get someone like that, both of them wacked is actually not a good idea

She probably does not want to be alone, which makes moving difficult, it's the times she's alone it will be the worst, stuck in her own thoughts

All I could really to was offer support and try convince that isolating this person from ones life is a good idea, it's amazing how these things can be around many years after the fact, so don't expect it all to be logical, otherwise we'd be cutting these dudes cocks off;)

Lots of positive answers here but she needs to talk to a councilor who can specialise in this sort of thing asap
she needs to know in herself that she has not done anything wrong and to distance herself from the offenders, hard but must be done.
you cannot bump into these people at random, it will leave no room for healing
give me a PM Tim i might know of someone

Hi again folks and thanks again for the great replies.

Big Dog, thanks for you offer but, luckily for her, she has an excellent practitioner and he in turn put her on to a top specialist ( I hate using the word psyiatrist because of the connotations it musters ) who has, for the last few years been her biggest support.

Now that her friends know more, they can work in better ways of helping her.

One of Sheila’s biggest supporters has been the company she works for. They have been very understanding, but then again, I suppose it comes back to them trying to keep a good worker.

I don’t know where this is going to lead but it was just such a hit to hear what had really been going on and I am obviously quite naive, because of all the similar situations that have been posted here and in PMs to me, these have shown me how little I knew of this kind of thing.

One thing though, had I been present at the rage attack on Saturday, ( if there had have been friend present I bet her mother wouldn’t have done a thing ), as someone posted above, I’d be looking at a 10-20 stretch.