Thread: Serious help needed

Its a really hard situation and we are seeing similar with family atm.
The only answer is she has to get to a point where she can make a break. First step is an AVO and then consider moving out of the area away from the influence. The problem with this is the victim is the one who has to move and that is not fair, but often the only answer. If they move they often wont have a support network of friends.
Personally I would put the fear of god up them making it quite clear that if they came near or even spoke to her again it would be the last time, of course this would have to be done with no witnesses.
There is one ultimate answer but that may get you 10-20. Look there is a circumstance that we recently found out happened 25 years ago. If I had known what occurred back then there would have been no doubt what I would have done and I would have done time.
The first thing is she really has to realize they are not her family.

I'm with Craig,move her away from her family and start over.To do what they did and the worse thing her mother knowing about it and letting it happen?,the further she is away from them the better. Pat

Agree the above. Probably will be harder to do than say, but it's the only way.

Geez there are some sickos (the parents) out there.

Not good.
It seems to me that the mother is blaming the daughter for what the father did to her. She's the one needs councilling.
if action is taken against the parents that might lead to the daughter
thinking she has to defend them if she is that confused. This would cause her more mental strife.
Would be good if the husband could take control again and move her far away.
Failing all that, run a truck over the parents, dad certainly needs his nuts cut.

Robert.

Is there any chance she could talk to the police about her sexual abuse? I know that's a long shot.

It's difficult when one knows that happened. Should it be reported or not when it's well after the event and difficult to prove — let alone the effects on all concerned? Note that I do not condone this, I'm just not sure if it does any good (for the victim) to rake it all up many years later.

Originally Posted by PAT303

the worse thing her mother knowing about it and letting it happen?

Exactly.

Originally Posted by CraigE

then consider moving out of the area away from the influence. The problem with this is the victim is the one who has to move and that is not fair, but often the only answer. If they move they often wont have a support network of friends.

This is not an option and for the reasons you posted, the best support she has are her friends.

Originally Posted by p38arover

Is there any chance she could talk to the police about her sexual abuse? I know that's a long shot.

She actually filed a complaint with the police and they were going to act on the complaint but she withdrew it.

I can not imagine what must be going through her mind and would hate to be in her position.

I have worked in the field of sexual abuse and its consequences, and research seems to confirm that when mothers are told by a daughter that they are being sexually abused or have been sexually assaulted, that nearly 70% of them will do nothing or will blame the girl.
I have had this account related to me repeatedly by survivors over my years of counselling and working in mental health.
In Australia the research indicates that 1 in 4 girls (and a slightly lesser ratio of males) will have an unwanted sexual experience before they reach puberty, and that 4 in 10 Australian women will have that experience in their lifetimes.
Read the historical accounts of the landing of the First Fleet, or "Damned Whores and God's police", to perhaps look for the origins of this culture in Australia
In the field of drug addiction, research shows that 70% of addicts cite sexual abuse as their starting point, and from working in mental health, I know that is a similar % to the experiences of women with acquired mental health issues.

The most important response one can make to those who report abuse is not to deny their experience. Support them and seek professional help for them.
Regards vbrab

Tim you said a report was made to police,but withdrawn , probably from family pressure. She needs to be removed from the enviroment she is in.
If she can go and get help and get herself into a shelter where she is removed from all this sickness. Maybe she can with the help of a councilor take legal action against the scumbag parents.