Huge Thanks to the AULRO Community.

[Basil135]

Hi Dannie,

Depression is something that has become more out in the open in recent times. People like Jeff Kennett have made statements, and that seems to be breaking down the stigma attached.

As Wardy said, the first step is to realise that depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It is not something that you can control, nor is it something you can "snap out of" as some people assume you can. To put it another way, if you had a bad kidney, liver, heart etc, you would seek medial treatment.

Depression is no different. It needs to be treated. It may or may not include medication, but only a doctor can really make that call. If the chosen path, chosen by you AND the doctor, is medication, then it might take a little trial and error to find the right one. But, in the long run, it will be worth it.

I sometimes think that depression could be genetic. The women on both sides of my family have being diagnosed with it. This means that we keep an eye on the younger ones, to be aware of any signs.

Mate, if you have an appointment with a doctor, do yourself, your wife & your son a big favour, and keep it.

And dont EVER think that the world would be better without you. It wont. One final word of advice - if you are feeling low, go & sit with your son as he sleeps. The simple sound of his breathing can do wonders...

[poleonpom]

Hi Dannie,

I have clinical depression in the form of bi-polar disorder. I tell everyone I work with and meet and let them decide if their limitations stop them from continuing, so far no-one that matters has. I am on medication for life but I am not a zombie nor am I limited in my life or work.

When I was diagnosed I told everyone, including my clients, one of them said they thought I was bi-polar when they engaged me! Even my wife said she wasn't surprised - so my initial anxiety to see the doctor was only because I thought people would notice; they already knew!

As a condition, depression plays havoc with your mind, it is a disease and it will not allow you to think straight - your normal self would be engaged with your son and wife, your depressed self counters this yet there is no clear reason. Deep down you'll know this, so when you feel down, a trick I use is to say that I don't normally feel this way and it is the "disease" talking.

YOU MUST SEE your Doctor and tell them these thoughts. Your Doctor must give you a referral to a Clinical Psychologist (make sure it is a Clinical Psychologist) and get a prescription. You then MUST SEE the CP asap.

I've had the most amazing positive results and have learnt how to recognise the problems and manage them. I'm going to pm you my number and you can call me if you'd like support.

You can get on tip of it.

As Churchill, another great depressive, said: KBO, which means Keep Buggering On,

Jonathan

[superquag]

... Apart from some interesting and non-conventional (ie, drugs/medications) treatments from the 'Alternate' side of the tracks, I know that several of my friends use exercise to counter the worst of it. Not just a 10 minute amble for them but running or cycling., - One enters Iron-Man competitions and finishes with respectable times...

I've never believed that depression reduces your innate capacity to 'do' things, or function, but it erodes YOUR own opinion of your value, and performance. Does'nt make much of a differance to OTHER people... - as Jonathan mentioned, one client engaged his services, 'suspecting' he was bi-polar... Obviously did'nt think that would affect his value & performance.

"...As Churchill, another great depressive, said: KBO, which means Keep Buggering On..."

Got to admit, that I feel loads better for it. - When I do it ...

[newhue]

Dannie, I would think sharing this with your wife can only bring you closer. If you cant tell her perhaps pop here in front of your post.

Re your dad, I know when I said I love you to mine and gave him a huge he just de solved and lots it. I was not expecting that at all and I didn't know how to handle it really. I just kept hugging him but I haven't done it since, and that was several years ago now. We see each other a fair bit, get along well, but nothing much more or deeper.

So if you think you are not worth much, you just gave me idea, and i think two people will be better of because of you.

[SimonM]

Hi mate,

As others have said writing about your experience on here is a great thing to do, not just for you but for others.

I would really encourage you to seek out some form of help. As a psychologist and someone who has also seen a psychologist for depression and panic attacks many years ago I know that it can help. However, everyone is different so you need to source someone or soemthing that works for you. Do some research of the different treatment methods out there and pick one that sits well with you.

For me personally Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and also practicing Buddhism was my way to live my life as best as I could, but you need to find your own path that works for you. What works for one wont work for all.

Many people talk about depression as a disease and chemical imbalance, maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Anti depressants work for some people, but they don't work for everyone, the research is out there. The drug companies have a vested interest in the medical model of depression. To me this leads to disempowerment and leads people to beleive that there is nothing they can do about it as they are sick, and they have "bad" thoughts and "bad" feelings which they must get rid of before they can get "better". People then spend a great deal of time and energy trying to get rid of these thoughts and feelings and therefore have difficulty focusing and doing what is important in their life.

Sorry mate for my rant i have more to say but perhaps we shoud start a depression treatment thread so that people are aware of the different options open to them.

Best of luck mate, remember to LIVE life, DO what is important and dont live life too much in your head. Life exists in what we DO not what we think we SHOULD do or SHOULD have done. Mind you I have just told you what you SHOULD do lol.

[sashadidi]

... Apart from some interesting and non-conventional (ie, drugs/medications) treatments from the 'Alternate' side of the tracks, I know that several of my friends use exercise to counter the worst of it. Not just a 10 minute amble for them but running or cycling., - One enters Iron-Man competitions and finishes with respectable times...

I've never believed that depression reduces your innate capacity to 'do' things, or function, but it erodes YOUR own opinion of your value, and performance. Does'nt make much of a differance to OTHER people... - as Jonathan mentioned, one client engaged his services, 'suspecting' he was bi-polar... Obviously did'nt think that would affect his value & performance.

"...As Churchill, another great depressive, said: KBO, which means Keep Buggering On..."

Got to admit, that I feel loads better for it. - When I do it ...

Great post Exercise certainly helps, being a kiwi you might relate to this about John Kirwan the All Black
John Kirwan's All Black's Don't Cry: A Story of Hope Book - Buy it at Mighty Ape NZ

[Beckford]

Siska,

Posting on here is a massive step in the right direction.

My brother kept all of his problems to himself, until the unthinkable happened at age 23. Some people with the Black Dog are very good at hiding what is really going on.

The appointment with the doctor may seem awkward, but it gets much easier after that. It is your choice to see a Psychologist or a Clinical Psychologist (with drugs). Medicare covers 6 visits and a further 6 visits if you go back to GP again.

I have not suffered depression personally, so I can only imagine what the Black Dog is like. I have / do suffer from anxiety and are happy to share my experiences with anyone.

Please PM me if you want to talk about anything.

Beckford.

[isuzurover]

Dannie,

Hang in there mate. You are one of the best blokes I have met in the LR community over the years.

I agree with LandyAndy's (and other) comments - if the black dog descends - seek help rather than contemplating drastic actions.

Ben.

[Siska]

Thanks to everyone for their words of support. One of the reasons for posting this was so that I would have to tell my wife. I've never been good at communicating feelings and expressing what is going on personally. I'd written the opening message a couple of times over the past few months, but always deleted it before sending to her. So by posting it here it forced my hand to sit her down and show her. She was quite upset at first, but after a bit of time to digest what I had said we've had a good talk about things. I think this is definitely the closest we've been in years.

Thanks again everyone!

[superquag]

Dear Mrs Siska,

On behalf of your husband, all of us blokes would like to apologise,,,... 'cos we're pretty useless when it comes to emoshins, um 'emow-shuns', er...emooshends... ahhh, those 'weird touchy-feely thingy feeelings'.
Sorry.,

- But we know heaps about Land Rovers... and opening lids on jars and squishing monster spiders lurking in the dunny.

Cheers,

James.