"Why do you have so many children?"
"Well Groucho, I love my wife"
"And I love my cigar but I take it out of my mouth every once in a while"
:Rolling:
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"Why do you have so many children?"
"Well Groucho, I love my wife"
"And I love my cigar but I take it out of my mouth every once in a while"
:Rolling:
“For Children: You will need to know the difference between Friday and a fried egg. It's quite a simple difference, but an important one. Friday comes at the end of the week, whereas a fried egg comes out of a chicken. Like most things, of course, it isn't quite that simple. The fried egg isn't properly a fried egg until it's been put in a frying pan and fried. This is something you wouldn't do to a Friday, of course, though you might do it on a Friday. You can also fry eggs on a Thursday, if you like, or on a cooker. It's all rather complicated, but it makes a kind of sense if you think about it for a while.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt
Baz:D
While I sit here on my fourth glass of a cheeky little Shiraz I thought I'd quote some other famous drunks.
'Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk, that will teach you to keep your mouth shut.'
Earnest Hemingway
'Being sober on a bus, like, is totally different to being drunk on a bus.'
Ozzy Osbourne
'I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly'
Winston Churchill
And for something a bit deaper ...Wars are caused by undefended wealth!
Mr E Hemingway
Be yourself, everyone else is already taken
Oscar Wilde
If you see someone crying, ask if it's because of their haircut ....
Winston Churchill, fantastic for quotes...
My favorite from British parliament was apparently as CHURCHILL was aging and yet his reply was apparently very quick...
Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.”
Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”
some of his quotes would be good if read by todays politicians..
Some see private enterprise as a predatory target to be shot, others as a cow to be milked, but few are those who see it as a sturdy horse pulling the wagon.
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.
We contend that for a nation to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
Theres a few more classics:
some funny;
You can always count on Americans to do the right thing—after they’ve tried everything else.
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
some very very famous;
We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and the oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
and
Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this island or lose the war. If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be free and life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands. But if we fall, then the whole world, including the United States, including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new Dark Age made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted science.
Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the British Empire and its Commonwealth lasts for a thousand years, men will still say, “This was their finest hour!”
"In my estimation it was obvious that Jansky had made a fundamental and very important discovery. Furthermore, he had exploited it to the limit of his equipment facilities. If greater progress were to be made it would be necessary to construct new and different equipment especially designed to measure the cosmic static." Grote Reber
"The Big Bang Is Bunk" Grote Reber
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I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?
Bump :) lets have some more words of wisdom folks
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