Thread: The best insults...

I think I have to include these infamous sledges!

Top ten sledging incidents from world of cricket:


1) Rodney Marsh (Australia) and Ian Botham (England)



Rodney Marsh to Ian Botham in an Ashes match: “So how’s your wife and my kids?” Ian Botham’s reply - “The wife’s fine. The kids are retarded !”


2) Javed Miandad (Pakistan) and Merv Hughes (Australia)



Javed Miandad called Hughes a fat bus conductor during a match. A few balls later, Hughes dismissed Miandad. “Tickets please,” said Huges, as he ran past the departing batsman.


3) Glenn McGrath (Ausrtralia) and Ramnaresh Sarwan (West Indies)



McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: “So what does Brian Lara’s di*k taste like?”Sarwan: “I don’t know. Ask your wife.


McGrath (lost his cool): “If you ever F**king mention my wife again, I’ll F**king rip your F**ing throat out.”


4) Douglas Jardine (England) and Bill Woodfull (Australia)



England player Jardine complained that one of the Australian players called him a bastard. Australian captain Bill Woodfull turns to his team, points to Jardine and asked “Which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard?”


5) Mark Waugh (Australia) and Adam Parore (New Zealand)



Mark Waugh standing at second slip, Adam Parore played & missed the first ball. Mark - “Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were **** then, you’re ••••••• useless now”. Parore- (Turning around) “Yeah, that’s me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly **** & now I hear you’ve married her. You dumb ••••”.


6) Steve Waugh (Australia) and Parthiv Patel (India)



When Steve came (Steve’s last test match) to bat, Parthiv said, “Come on, just one more of the famous slog-sweeps before you finish” Steve-”Respect Me…for when i made my test debut You were still in your nappies”.


7) Glen McGrath (Australia) and Eddo Brandes (Zimbabwe)



Aussie paceman Glenn McGrath was bowling to Zimbabwe number 11 Eddo Brandes - who was just missing each ball. McGrath, frustrated, went to him and inquired: “Why are you so fat?”Quick as a flash, Brandes replied, “Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit.”


Ravi Shastri (India) and Mike Whitney (Australia)



Shastri hits the ball towards Mike Whitney (the 12th man in the game) and looked for a single. Whitney said, “If you leave the crease i’ll break your f***ing head”. Without battling an eyelid, Shastri retorted, “If you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn’t be the f***ing 12th man”.


9) Sunil Gavaskar (India) and Viv Richards (West Indies)



To ease the pressure on himself, Sunil Gavaskar had decided to come lower down the order and bat at No 4 for that particular match. But, Malcolm Marshall fired out Anshuman Gaekwad and Dilip Vengsarkar for ducks, setting the stage for Gavaskar to walk in at 0/2. Viv Richards said “Man, it don’t matter where you come in to bat, the score is still zero.”


10) Viv Richards (West Indies) and Merv Hughes (Australia)


Viv Richards hit Merv Hughes for four consecutive boundaries in one over. Merv stops halfway down the pitch, farted loudly, and said to Viv: “let’s see you hit that to the boundary!” Viv was dumb-founded.

Some insult quotes:

"Prince looks like a dwarf who's been dipped in a bucket of public hair" - Boy George.

"His ears make him look like a taxi with both doors open"- Howard Hughes on Clark Gable.

"Mick Jagger is about as sexy as a ****ing toad" - Truman Capote.

"She's so hairy, when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit" - Joan Rivers on Madonna.

"I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll make an exception" - Groucho Marx, target unknown.

"Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad." - Donald Trump to Larry King.

Originally Posted by DiscoMick

"She's so hairy, when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit" - Joan Rivers on Madonna.

"Adele is one of the very few women in pop music that I want my daughter to look up to, and you're making jokes about the way she looks when you're so insecure about your own face, you've spent more money on it than the producers of Life of Pi spent on that tiger!"
He continued: "I've met Adele and she was lovely, and hot.
"You Joan Rivers have become a jaded, bitter old mole.
"Get a plastic surgeon to manufacture yourself a new soul. Stop being an enormous, hypocritical, insensitive dick!"

Adam Hills to Joan Rivers after she mocked Adele on her weight.
I'm inclined to agree.

Originally Posted by DiscoMick

"Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad." - Donald Trump to Larry King.

Oh No They Didn't! - Donald Trump got TRUMPED on Twitter by Danny Zuker

you would struggle to pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

[ame="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reply_of_the_Zaporozhian_Cossacks"]Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/ame]

its like working with an idiot savant.


only you lake the savant bit.

Merv stops halfway down the pitch, farted loudly, and said to Viv: “let’s see you hit that to the boundary!” Viv was dumb-founded.

Gotta love a true Aussie! Cheer's

Does anyone know the origin of the 'must've crawled out from under a hollow log' insults? Just curious...