Thread: I can see.......... Stars !

You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you
Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I’ve got no soul to sell
Help me the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself

Cheers
Simon

The 1st Affair:*
A married man was having an affair
with his secretary. One day they went
her place and made love all
afternoon. Exhausted, they fell
asleep and woke up at 8 pm. The man hurriedly
dressed and told his lover to take his
shoes outside and rub them in the
grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and
drove home. "Where have you been?"
his wife demanded. "I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an
affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."
"You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"



*The 2nd Affair:*
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always
talked about having a son. They decided to try one
last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and
delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see
his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He
told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the
two beautiful daughters I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"



*The 3rd Affair:*
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body
of Mr Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling
discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't
allow you to be cremated with such an impressive
private part. It must be saved for posterity."
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it
home.
"I have to show you something you won't believe,"
he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!"



*The 4th Affair:*
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband
opening the front door. "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum
powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I
liked it so much I got one for us, too."
No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM
the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with
a sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two
days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."



*The 5th Affair:*
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly,
"I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

poison mustnt have worked to well if thats the case

There's an awful lot of discourse at the uni I frequent, it usually turns up with a mate, hegemony....

academic jargon...

GQ

Pedro beware the talcum powder and pack a meal just in case.

well the Eagles were too easy, will have to be more obscure i think

oh for Vlad just in case

Hegemony (pronounced [hə.ˈdʒe.mə.ni (Amer.), hɪ.ˈɡe.mə.ni (Brit.)])[1] (Greek: ἡγεμονία hēgemonía) is a concept that has been used to describe the existence of dominance of one social group over another, such that the ruling group -- referred to as a hegemon -- acquires some degree of consent from the subordinate, as opposed to dominance purely by force.[2] The processes by which a dominant culture maintains its dominant position: for example, the use of institutions to formalize power; the employment of a bureaucracy to make power seem abstract (and, therefore, not attached to any one individual); the inculcation of the populace in the ideals of the hegomonic group through education, advertising, publication, etc.; the mobilization of a police force as well as military personnel to subdue opposition

academic jargon, try talking real world sense with a living talking sociology lecturer. Thats a real hoot.


now a song
verse 5
A four week operation when each step could mean your last one on two legs
It was a war within yourself.
But you wouldn't let your mates down til they had you dusted off
So you closed your eyes and thought about something else.


john

Hmm, how old was I?

you were!
and had all the boys chasing you

oops sorry gang iv'e been away in outback nsw everybody beat me to the guesses (they were soooooo easy) something a bit harder is needed john!