Joke thread 2

[fernockulated]

[fernockulated]

[fernockulated]

[fernockulated]

[fernockulated]

[fernockulated]

[[size=18]color=blue]and dont forget to smile,[/color]
[size=24]<span style="color:green">have a good day!</span>

[Knight]

Bubba and Billy Bob were sitting on the tailgates of their pick-ups shooting the breeze.
Bubba asks Billy Bob, "If I snuck ovah to yore house while you wuz out fishin an' made love to your wife, an' she got pregnant, would dat make us kin?"

Billy Bob scratched his head for a bit then said, "No, just even."


I'm ba..a..a..a..a..a..a..a..a..ck!
- Complete sympathy to anyone getting this nasty virus going around!!

Cheers
Knight

[Tyrepower]

Little Monkey sitting in a tree, when a big Rino walks up and asks " What you doing Monkey"
Monkey says "Sitting up here picking my arse, scratching for fleas and waiting for the Lion to come by!........... "
Rino says "What you going to do then monkey......... "
Monkey says " I'm going to jump out of this tree, Twist his tail, pull his wiskers and kick him in the nuts so hard he spews blood for a week........
Rino says 'phew good luck Monkey, thats a big call"
Little while later Girrafe comes past, spots the Monkey in the tree and asks "what you doing Monkey".....
Monkey says, "Sitting in the tree, picking my arse,scratching for fleas and waiting for the Lion to come by.
Girrafe says "what you going to do then Monkey"
Monkey says "I'm going to jump out of this tree, twist his tail, pull his wiskers and kick him in the nuts so hard he spews blood for a week".....
Girrafe says "Phew good luck Monkey,thats a pretty big call!"
Little while later the big Lion comes by , spots the Monkey in the tree and asks "What you doing Monkey"
Monkey says " Sittting in the tree, picking my arse, scratching for fleas, telling lies...................."

[Knight]

The Texas preacher rose with an angry red face.
"Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved.

The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."

Again all was quiet. Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and
her voice quivered as she spoke.

"Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets!"

The preacher fainted.

:wink:
Knight

[Tyrepower]

An old drunk wanders into an Auditorium hosting a Convention on the Supernatual and Ghosts. He takes a seat at the back and sits down.
The speaker is all excited, and asks the audience to put up their hands if anyone present has had an encounter with a Ghost.
Most of the people present raise their hands.
The speaker next asks the crowd to be a little more specific and raise their hands if they have actually had some form of interaction with a Ghost. Not so many raise their hands this time
The speaker next asks the crowd if any one present has actualy had a sexual experience with a Ghost.......... The old drunk sittting at the back has had his hand up the whole time, and looking around sees he is the only one with his hand still up.
Spotting this, the speaker becomes very excited and implores the man to come up to the front of the stage.
Slowly the drunk gets to his feet and makes his way to the front.
Once he takes his place beside the speaker. The speaker in a loud voice tells the drunk, to tell the people of his sexual experience he had with a Ghost.
The drunk looks shocked and says "Ghost........ sorry I thought you said Goat."