Joke thread 2

[Tyrepower]

A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Sky-West Airlines from Perth to Broome in the North of Western Australia.

The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?"


The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant.


So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?"


The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"


The little boy admitted that she did.


"Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Sky-West Airlines always pulls out on time.


Now, let your mother explain that to you."

[VladTepes]

Why Men Are Just Happier People (written by a woman)

> · Your last name stays put.
> · The garage is all yours.
> · Wedding plans take care of themselves.
> · Chocolate is just another snack.
> · You can be president.
> · You can never be pregnant.
> · You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
> · You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
> · Car mechanics tell you the truth.
> · The world is your urinal.
> · You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
> · You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
> · Same work, more pay.
> · Wrinkles add character.
> · Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental -- $100.
> · People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
> · The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
> · New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
> · One mood -- all the time.
> · Phone conversations are over in 30 second s flat.
> · You know stuff about tanks.
> · A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
> · You can open all your own jars.
> · You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
> · If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
> · Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack.
> · Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
> · You almost never have strap problems in public.
> · You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
> · Everything on your face stays its original color.
> · The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
> · You only have to shave your face and neck.
> · You can play with toys all your life.
> · Your belly usually hides your big hips.
> · One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
> · You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
> · You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
> · You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
> - You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.


> No wonder men are happier!

[Tyrepower]

A policeman is in a morgue finishing off some paperwork when he
sees *a naked body lying face down on a table. Upon further inspection he notices a cork stuck in the body's anus. Curiosity gets the better of him and he removes the cork. All of a sudden the policeman hears "good old Collingwood for ever", so he quickly replaces the cork and rushes to find the morgue attendant. When he finds him he takes him to the body and instructs the attendant to remove the cork. The attendant, looking a little puzzled, removes the cork and suddenly "Good old Collingwood for ever" can be heard once more. The policeman asks the attendant if he has ever experienced anything like this before. The attendant looks at the policeman in surprise and says to him "Of course I have! Thousands of ars*holes sing that song!"

[VladTepes]

Tyrepower: I saw that coming, and I still laughed.... [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]

[Tyrepower]

Hey Vlad if you liked that one how's this. It's always been a favorite of mine having grown up in Kalgoorlie.
Cheers Tyrepower

Little boy walks to school every morning past the “red light area” of his suburb.
And every morning one of the girls is sitting out side after a hard night.
Upon seeing the little boy every morning she gives him a wave sticks her little finger in the air wriggles it around and says “good morning little boy”
This goes on day in day out every week, each time she spots him same thing. Gives a wave then sticks her little finger up wriggles it about and says ‘good morning little boy”
Finally curiosity gets the better of him. One morning he asks…………”Hey lady how come every time you see me you wave hello then stick your little finger in the air wriggle it about and say “good morning little boy”
The lady laughs, looks down at his crotch and says “Well little boy isn’t that about the size of it”
The little boy gives her a look of disgust and walks of.
Next morning on his way past the lady. Same thing, she spots him, waves, sticks her little finger in the air and calls out “good morning little boy”
The little boy quick as a flash puts his fingers into the corners of his mouth and pulls his lips as far as he can and calls back “ Good morning lady”

[VladTepes]

What :?: Are you implying those miners can be a crass lot :?: 8O [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]


Yeah, not bad.

[Tyrepower]

Not crass just horny.................. :wink: :wink:

[Pedro_The_Swift]

>A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.
>>
>> He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.
>> Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of


>> nature through such innocent eyes.
>>
>> Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
>>
>> He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her
>> attention.
>>
>> He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
>>
>> "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
>>
>> "They're mating," her father replied.
>>
>> "What do you call the spider on top?" she asked.
>>
>> "That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.
>>
>> "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
>>
>> As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question
>> he
>> replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
>>
>> The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then
>> took her foot and stomped them flat.
>>
>> "Well, we're not having any of that gay **** in our garden" she said

[fernockulated]

[bigbugga]

Originally posted by fernockulated