Are there no men?

**bob10** · 13th March 2014, 07:07 PM

Originally Posted by Boxhead63

There's nothing wrong in taking a hiding or two in life especially for the right reasons Hell knows i've had few but i've given as good as i've received on most occasions, If you don't stand up to **** bags, cowards and bullies. What's the point in breathing. I don't give a bugger anymore. Speak up and then get in to 'em.

I suppose i'm feeling like this because an old mates son was killed recently for standing up to a bully. I know the kid died proud.

Rob

I feel for you. But I don't want to give the impression we should all be Rambos. In most situations like this, if no one stands up, the bully gets more confidence. If you do stand up, the first approach is to try to connect , in a friendly way. , like for example, " mate, you don't need this, and you don't need the hassel it will cause down the track, think about it for a minute. " or something similar. This does a couple of things. sometimes the fellow actually pulls up, hesitates, and you know you have an in to continue to talk him down. OR , he hesitates, which gives another bystander the confidence to stand with you, which hopefully , in a situation like a train, will encourage others to do the same. There is safety in numbers. Always be prepared to defend yourself, but don't be aggressive. If you have to be aggressive, maximum force, first up. Works some times, every situation is different. But most Australians respond to kindness, first up. Leave the aggression for the last resort. Bob

**benji** · 13th March 2014, 07:13 PM

In regards to the first aid. You need to have their consent, or implied consent (ie, they're unconscious) to administer 1st aid. And you must act within the scope of your training; ie, you cannot clear someone of spinal damage with level 2 first sid.

By stander effect is a weird one. I'm not at all confident with my fists; but if I felt I could take the perpetrator on I'd step in. But if I couldn't over power them. .. sounds horrible but sorry, I've got two young kids.

**loneranger** · 13th March 2014, 08:02 PM

Originally Posted by POD

This seems to be the prevailing attitude when it comes to the crunch. The person who verbally assaulted my daughter in public got the tacit approval of everyone present when they failed to stand up.

Having spent over 5 years working in a maximum security prison and seen what some of the psychos can be like when they really go off I choose to not get involved for verbal abuse. In this environment you learn how not to escalate situations.

We had a situation in Perth a few years ago where an off duty cop stepped into a situation late at night on St George's Tce. His kids no longer have a father.

If your not prepared to push your daughter to mke a police report then there's no point lashing out at others. Presumably your trains have security cameras like ours do which would enable an identification to be made and an investigation should follow. By doing nothing it could also be suggested you are giving tacit approval. You are directly in a position to have an affect on this incident.

Before I took up cycle commuting my wife and I were on a train and we had a situation where a drunk local was hassling women including my wife. It was all verbal and yes my wife was uncomfortable. I kept a close eye on proceedings but chose to not escalate the situation. If he had touched my wife, different story.

**Davo** · 13th March 2014, 10:06 PM

Originally Posted by loneranger

Having spent over 5 years working in a maximum security prison and seen what some of the psychos can be like when they really go off I choose to not get involved for verbal abuse. In this environment you learn how not to escalate situations.

We had a situation in Perth a few years ago where an off duty cop stepped into a situation late at night on St George's Tce. His kids no longer have a father.

If your not prepared to push your daughter to mke a police report then there's no point lashing out at others. Presumably your trains have security cameras like ours do which would enable an identification to be made and an investigation should follow. By doing nothing it could also be suggested you are giving tacit approval. You are directly in a position to have an affect on this incident.

Before I took up cycle commuting my wife and I were on a train and we had a situation where a drunk local was hassling women including my wife. It was all verbal and yes my wife was uncomfortable. I kept a close eye on proceedings but chose to not escalate the situation. If he had touched my wife, different story.

Yes, there are some absolute lunatics out there and you just can't say anymore what weird drugs - or combinations - they're on.

I might add that I haven't used public transport since the '90s.

**POD** · 14th March 2014, 09:16 AM

Originally Posted by loneranger

If your not prepared to push your daughter to mke a police report then there's no point lashing out at others. Presumably your trains have security cameras like ours do which would enable an identification to be made and an investigation should follow. By doing nothing it could also be suggested you are giving tacit approval. You are directly in a position to have an affect on this incident.

My understanding from recent personal experience is that police will not be able to make charges unless there is a direct verbal threat, i.e. 'I am going to do such-and-such to you'; other forms of verbal abuse are apparently not able to be prosecuted. And apparently there are no security cameras on country trains here, already considered that pathway. My daughter takes thi s train regularly and has not seen this individual before, I have asked her to look out for him, if he turns out to be in any way a regular then I will be taking a few train trips myself.

I'm reading several responses that talk about not stepping in because of something bad that once happened to someone else who stepped in. I don't mean this as a personal insult to anyone, but all these things seem to be platforms of fear; I know what is the right thing to do in this situation but I won't do it because I am afraid. For whatever reason, this seems to be where our society has got to and that is a great shame.

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