Thread: Great sayings

Superquag said:

"...Happy wife, happy life, my missus is Italian.... so when she is happy everything is better"

We need to say (type) that with waving hands.... getta the Accent right !

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a government.
John Adams

If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
Mark Twain

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
Winston Churchill

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
Frederic Bastiat, French economist(1801-1850)

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Rogers

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
Voltaire (1764)

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!
Pericles (430 B.C.)

No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
Mark Twain (1866)

Talk is cheap...except when government does it.
Anonymous

The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
Ronald Reagan

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
Mark Twain

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
Thomas Jefferson

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Aesop

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!
P.J. O'Rourke

ADULT
A person who has stopped growing at both ends
and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOUR
A place where women curl up and dye.


CHICKENS
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF
Cold Storage.

INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN
A grape with a sunburn.

SECRET
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW
One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.

YAWN
An honest opinion openly expressed.


WRINKLES
Something other people have, similar to my character lines.

Said the southern (white trash) blonde on the back seat of a Trailways bus somewhere between El Paso and Abilene in 1993. "I don't give a flying banana ****", always kinda stuck with me that one....

Regards,
Tote

Its about as use full as an ash tray on a motor bike

VIctory is when I beat you, defeat is when you beat me, Compromise is when I beat myself on your behalf,

Overkill, the very best kind of kill.

If its worth shooting its worth double tapping

A volume of fire can beat accurate fire, accurate fire can beat a volume of fire but nothing beats a volume of accurate fire.

No-one tells jokes in base 13

Anything not nailed down is mine, anything I can pry loose is not nailed down.

Any landing you can walk away from is a good one, If the planes reusable thats great.

The aviation industry has a perfect safety record, they havent left anyone up there yet.

Ground support mechanics are better than Aircraft technicians. We can change wheels without 3 levels of supervision and none of our gear has ever lost a wheel on takeoff.

Careful, that victory you think you're having might just be the bait in my ambush.

Not really a great saying but... Wife came home and glumly announced that the doctor said she had parasites and would have to take a foul mixture for three months or, if that didn't work, Plan B was to carpet bomb it with antiobiotics. Husband, trying to be positive, said: "Well, think on the bright side - at least you won't be lonely!" Apparenly that was the wrong thing to say...

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"That's about as useful as a screen door on a submarine"
"toeyer than a roman sandal"
"shining like a new shilling in a politicians arse"
"Flat out like a dog shot in the arse"