That Table......

they say hes got nuts of steel
they say the left one is imperial and the right one is witworth.
All I know is hes called digger

Its said his heart is so big and so strong that when they hooked up the EGK the trace jumped a toyota, two nissans a couple of holdens 2 scanias both ambulences started a john deere a dozen harleys a centurian and 2 spitfires.
All I know is Im privledged to call him digger

its uttered with reverence that john wayne with a colt .44 faced him and called "draw"
he used a 3b pencil, a piece of letter head said bang and john wayne dropped dead. No-one has dared look at what was drawn.

All I know is Im too scared to not call him digger.

It is translated from the russian that "we are grateful for your assistance in our space program and we apologise for not stopping Laika from humping your leg" and "Now that we have recovered the bar from mirny we regret having doubted the strength of your vodka slammers"
All I know is you call him digger

A young lass once told me that when she asked him about the recoiless from his gunbuggy he whispered to her where he kept it.
She was enjoyed to admit hes the only man who can side mount a 106 and use it for ranging shots and that even doing so with HESH he still gives a better bang.

All I know is that in polite company she calls him digger

A Solihull nurse once told me of the time they had a man in for an EEG and his brainwaves displayed the wave form from the ignition coils of a 2.25, 2.6, 3.5, 3.9 AND a tdi300 all doing 1600 RPM

She said all she knew was that they called him digger

I remember the toyota driver who, whilst bogged, handed him a shovel. He stared him down with a look that made the driver say "oh, its just a name"

All I know is that that man now knows that the name does not infer the labour and that he will always call him digger

his name was put on a no fly black list so he put the airline on diggers list
This is why you cant fly ansett

All I know is to call him digger

hes been known to think that they had to have 2 stigs
that chuck norris jokes are just one liners that were not sufficiently bespoke to be uttered alongside his name
All I know is hes probably right

Its been told that hes as chivalrous as Clarkeson is oafish
that his unkindness is shorter than the Hamster
All I know is the ladies swoon when I mention digger.