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Thread: Wish me luck, please..

  1. #151
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
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    24,568
    We've had some family deaths in the last two years, so I know how hard it can be and I feel for you both.
    Two approaches which have helped me are:

    1. It's okay to mourn, that's part of the healing process. It's good to remember your shared experiences, good and bad, and treasure them. Be grateful for your times together.

    2. Enjoy life. The departed would want the best for you. Get involved. Make what you do now a tribute to the departed. Laugh. Go for it.

    Hope that helps.

  2. #152
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
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    Dandenong Ranges.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bob10 View Post
    Recently we lost our Mother. An aggressive blood cancer. A very strong woman, she didn't want to go. The Priest instructed me , being the eldest, to tell her it was time to go. Dad was waiting for her. Not the hardest thing I've had to do, but close. Death is just part of life's journey, sometimes that's hard to believe. There is a song that helps me on occasion, by Reina Del Cid." Hold me before I'm gone forever. " Tears are optional .

    https://youtu.be/nZLji1xy3Uw
    Thanks, Bob, for the thoughts, and the song. ATM tears are NOT optional.

    My condolences to you and yours. Mothers are important.

    Funny, isn't it. My mother is 101 (!) and she wants to go and can't.

    Death is life's only certainty. Jan faced it with such courage it was humbling. She was not afraid for herself. She was afraid for ME.

    On a slightly lighter note. Mum was pronounced dead when she was 6. Obviously she was revived, but I now jokingly tell her " mum, you only die once, and you've had your turn". I'm not sure she is amused.
    ​JayTee

    Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time. Sir Terry Pratchett

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
    1994 D1 300TDi Manual: Dave
    1980 SIII Petrol Tray: Doris

  3. #153
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    Sep 2010
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    Dandenong Ranges.
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    7,181
    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoMick View Post
    We've had some family deaths in the last two years, so I know how hard it can be and I feel for you both.
    Two approaches which have helped me are:

    1. It's okay to mourn, that's part of the healing process. It's good to remember your shared experiences, good and bad, and treasure them. Be grateful for your times together.

    2. Enjoy life. The departed would want the best for you. Get involved. Make what you do now a tribute to the departed. Laugh. Go for it.

    Hope that helps.

    Thanks Mick. It's number 2 that I find difficult. Her kids ( youngest is 32 ) have , in their own grief, have cut me off, so I lost an entire family of 25 years.

    The thing I most wanted to get across in this thread was how important it is NOT to be a "man " and to be wise enough to seek help. I saw grief counsellor for nearly a gar, and I am still seeing a psychologist. If I hadn't I doubt I would still be here, and that would not be fair on others. I have had four people close to me suicide and I know what that does to people left behind. Seeking help is not weak, it is strong.

    Once again i find that, despite our trivial differences, people here are good and kind.
    ​JayTee

    Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time. Sir Terry Pratchett

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
    1994 D1 300TDi Manual: Dave
    1980 SIII Petrol Tray: Doris

  4. #154
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Dandenong Ranges.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoMick View Post
    We've had some family deaths in the last two years, so I know how hard it can be and I feel for you both.
    Two approaches which have helped me are:

    1. It's okay to mourn, that's part of the healing process. It's good to remember your shared experiences, good and bad, and treasure them. Be grateful for your times together.

    2. Enjoy life. The departed would want the best for you. Get involved. Make what you do now a tribute to the departed. Laugh. Go for it.

    Hope that helps.

    Thanks Mick. It's number 2 that I find difficult. Her kids ( youngest is 32 ) have , in their own grief, cut me off, so I lost an entire family of 25 years.

    The thing I most wanted to get across in this thread was how important it is NOT to be a "man " and to be wise enough to seek help. I saw grief counsellor for nearly a year, and I am still seeing a psychologist. If I hadn't I doubt I would still be here, and that would not be fair on others. I have had four people close to me suicide and I know what that does to people left behind. Seeking help is not weak, it is strong.

    Once again I find that, despite our trivial differences, people here are good and kind.
    ​JayTee

    Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time. Sir Terry Pratchett

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
    1994 D1 300TDi Manual: Dave
    1980 SIII Petrol Tray: Doris

  5. #155
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    brighton, brisbane
    Posts
    30,051
    You're a strong man John. The Kids will come around, it takes time. Meanwhile, something to bring a smile to your face Edit. Grab a rum, click on " more " you get the words to the song. Sing along. Music is the answer.


    YouTube
    Iím pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having meetings to discuss gathering food

    A bookshop is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking

  6. #156
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Logan
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    Quote Originally Posted by johntins View Post
    Thanks Mick. It's number 2 that I find difficult. Her kids ( youngest is 32 ) have , in their own grief, cut me off, so I lost an entire family of 25 years.

    The thing I most wanted to get across in this thread was how important it is NOT to be a "man " and to be wise enough to seek help. I saw grief counsellor for nearly a year, and I am still seeing a psychologist. If I hadn't I doubt I would still be here, and that would not be fair on others. I have had four people close to me suicide and I know what that does to people left behind. Seeking help is not weak, it is strong.

    Once again I find that, despite our trivial differences, people here are good and kind.
    Excellent you've had grief counselling, that's great. Respect.

  7. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tins View Post
    Sorry to post this here, but I feel that I am among friends in a way, here. I have spent the last Twelve months becoming a more and more full time carer for my mum, who is 99. I in no way resent this, but has become harder and harder to do. I have been fighting with bureaucrats over her care, seems that a legally blind, deaf, urinary incontinent woman who cannot get out of bed is a low priority to our Aged Care people. Meanwhile, the headlines are dominated by SSM, Energy and Citizenship. Is anyone governing this country?

    OK, that might fall foul of the Mods, but I hope it doesn't, as it is NOT political, and should not be relegated to CA. It is a statement on society, if in fact we have one any more.

    Yesterday, I took my wife of 25 years for a scan, for a condition that has been scaring me for only a week, but it IS scary. We went from a CAT scan locally to the ED of Maroondah Hospital in about 30 minutes, and she is still there. I have no way of knowing if I am ever going to bring her home. I hope that I do. We never had plans, we came together a bit late and broken for that, other than to grow old(er) together. We have great kids ( youngest is 32, so maybe not "kids" ), none together. But, we all love each other, and are a family.

    I am posting this in hope: my personal hope is obvious, but I hope that others realise their mortality and get on with life. I didn't, and now it may be too late. No, I'll rephrase that: I didn't ever do what I really wanted, and neither did Jan. She is a mother of three wonderful people, has loved and is content. I brought less to the relationship, and have regrets.

    Make the most of your time, folks, it won't last as long as you think.

    Once again, I am sorry. It has been emotional, but I am going to post this before I chicken out.
    Astonishing. I was going to post on Saturday, 16/01/2021, as it would be 3 years, but today an ambulance took mum away to hospital. She is now 102 plus 1/2. How does it work, mum is 102 but my brother was 9?

    I apologise. This thread served a purpose 3 years ago. I don't intend to hit you with it forever, but the situation with mum got me going.

    Thanks for looking.
    ​JayTee

    Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time. Sir Terry Pratchett

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
    1994 D1 300TDi Manual: Dave
    1980 SIII Petrol Tray: Doris

  8. #158
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    Dandenong Ranges.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tins View Post
    today an ambulance took mum away to hospital.
    Sometimes letting go is harder than clinging on....

    Life only gives you what it gives you. Then it takes away.
    ​JayTee

    Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time. Sir Terry Pratchett

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
    1994 D1 300TDi Manual: Dave
    1980 SIII Petrol Tray: Doris

  9. #159
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    Sep 2010
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    Given the circumstances, I just re-read the whole of this thread. Anyone who doubts the community of AULRO should have a look. I'll never forget.

    Sure, it's maudlin. But so is life, in the end.
    ​JayTee

    Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time. Sir Terry Pratchett

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
    1994 D1 300TDi Manual: Dave
    1980 SIII Petrol Tray: Doris

  10. #160
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    brighton, brisbane
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    30,051
    Quote Originally Posted by Tins View Post
    Given the circumstances, I just re-read the whole of this thread. Anyone who doubts the community of AULRO should have a look. I'll never forget.

    Sure, it's maudlin. But so is life, in the end.
    One for your Mum.

    (3) Hold Me Before I'm Gone Forever - Reina del Cid - YouTube
    Iím pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having meetings to discuss gathering food

    A bookshop is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking

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