Wish me luck, please..

Very right John. You have many prepared to support you here, for what it's worth. I wish we could do more.

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Originally Posted by V8Ian

Very right John. You have many prepared to support you here, for what it's worth. I wish we could do more.

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We got Kenley to Canada, Ian. That'll do for now. But thank you for the thoughts.

Gday JOHN,

wishing you and Jan a good outcome and hopefully you have her back home soon. I hope that you sort out more help with your mum.

best wishes to you all.

cheers Ean

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Originally Posted by johntins

Sorry to post this here, but I feel that I am among friends in a way, here. I have spent the last Twelve months becoming a more and more full time carer for my mum, who is 99. I in no way resent this, but has become harder and harder to do. I have been fighting with bureaucrats over her care, seems that a legally blind, deaf, urinary incontinent woman who cannot get out of bed is a low priority to our Aged Care people. Meanwhile, the headlines are dominated by SSM, Energy and Citizenship. Is anyone governing this country?

OK, that might fall foul of the Mods, but I hope it doesn't, as it is NOT political, and should not be relegated to CA. It is a statement on society, if in fact we have one any more.

Yesterday, I took my wife of 25 years for a scan, for a condition that has been scaring me for only a week, but it IS scary. We went from a CAT scan locally to the ED of Maroondah Hospital in about 30 minutes, and she is still there. I have no way of knowing if I am ever going to bring her home. I hope that I do. We never had plans, we came together a bit late and broken for that, other than to grow old(er) together. We have great kids ( youngest is 32, so maybe not "kids" ), none together. But, we all love each other, and are a family.

I am posting this in hope: my personal hope is obvious, but I hope that others realise their mortality and get on with life. I didn't, and now it may be too late. No, I'll rephrase that: I didn't ever do what I really wanted, and neither did Jan. She is a mother of three wonderful people, has loved and is content. I brought less to the relationship, and have regrets.

Make the most of your time, folks, it won't last as long as you think.

Once again, I am sorry. It has been emotional, but I am going to post this before I chicken out.

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Cheers mate. no need to appologise. Wishing your other half and you the best. Have you asked you mums Dr of a ACAS assesment? It might have a different name in some states but can mobilise state based support services. Edit- Vic based State care packages are a significant!!! help I will PM you soon with details. My sister does this for elderly in Central Vic. You do need to know how to engage the system. Not all GPs know about it in Vic.

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Originally Posted by johntins

You are right, her kids are in total shock. Jan always seemed eternal in some way. Now, I have to be a better person than I have ever managed to be, in order to help them, and it ain't easy. Still, there is always tomorrow. Sure, tomorrow brings new tests, new procedures, but where there's life, there's hope. Right?

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Right. Hold on to hope and keep doing the great job that you are doing with the support of your friends and family.

For what it's worth I hope that everything all works out for the better. I only have a couple of small snippets.

An old mate in his late nineties told me YEARS ago (about 50 of em in fact) to only worry about the things that you can control and let those best placed worry about the rest. For me when things seem to be going pear shaped (at a couple of stages REALLY pear shaped) that piece of advice always comes to me and if acted on the pear shapedness becomes as if by magic a lot easier to deal with.

The other snippet is. If you hold any sort of health care card or are receiving any sort of benefit from Centrelink there are some pretty good social workers available if you go to Centrelink and explain your circumstances and ask to see one.

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Originally Posted by NavyDiver

Cheers mate. no need to appologise. Wishing your other half and you the best. Have you asked you mums Dr of a ACAS assesment? It might have a different name in some states but can mobilise state based support services. Edit- Vic based State care packages are a significant!!! help I will PM you soon with details. My sister does this for elderly in Central Vic. You do need to know how to engage the system. Not all GPs know about it in Vic.

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ND, mum was assessed by ACAS as level 4, three years ago. She received confirmation of a level 2 package three months ago. I am seriously beginning to believe that the "Lucky Country" thing was BS. Well, it is now. Dad lived to 94, mum is 99. They paid good taxes all their lives, and this is how they are rewarded. It's despicable. My own fiscal stupidity means that I can't bail her out.

Hi John, thank you for posting. Not enough of us men are brave enough to reach out. I hope that Jan is going to be ok and that you get a lot longer to share each others lives. Chin up!

You, Jan and your mother are in my prayers.

Tom

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Originally Posted by BathurstTom

Hi John, thank you for posting. Not enough of us men are brave enough to reach out. I hope that Jan is going to be ok and that you get a lot longer to share each others lives. Chin up!

You, Jan and your mother are in my prayers.

Tom

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Thanks, Tom. I see that you have been on this place for around 5 years, and have only posted about 100 times a year. With what you posted today in response to my post, please can we hear more from you?

Maybe you are busy and all that. Never mind, Tom, thank you. I'm glad I reached you. And I am glad for your response.


Funny, I am always encouraging people to join in this place. Now, the reason for doing so has become obvious, at least to me. FB has friends. Here, we have mates.

As others have said:
Carers allowance through Centrelink
Meals and house cleaning, probably connect through local council
They can help a lot.