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Thread: " I went to Hogwarts and can't get a job"

  1. #1
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    " I went to Hogwarts and can't get a job"

    I am a recent Hogwarts graduate, and, although my time with you was a literal fantasy, I unfortunately did not learn a lot of basic skills, like math or spelling, at your skool.
    You may say, ďWhy do you need arithmetic? Youíre a wizard. You can do magic!Ē To which I reply, sure, for some wizard careers thatís great, but other wizards work in middle management and just want a normal nine-to-five gig. When I graduated, I thought that all I would need was my wand and a couple of choice incantations, but these days, without at least a little algebra, youíre not even qualified to work in Bertie Bottís retail department.





    I Went to Hogwarts for Seven Years and Did Not Learn Math or Spelling, and Now I Canít Get a Job | The New Yorker
    Iím pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having meetings to discuss gathering food

    A bookshop is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking

  2. #2
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    I quite enjoyed the HP Series....

    So which part of this letter is supposed to be amusing? " I went to Hogwarts and can't get a job"
    Cheers
    Tombie

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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tombie View Post
    I quite enjoyed the HP Series....

    So which part of this letter is supposed to be amusing? " I went to Hogwarts and can't get a job"
    Some how, I don't think subtlety is your strong point.
    Iím pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having meetings to discuss gathering food

    A bookshop is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking

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    Quote Originally Posted by bob10 View Post
    Some how, I don't think subtlety is your strong point.
    Generally not, although I didnít miss the nuances of the text written. I wonder if the writer, when penning it, also considered that time compression (this is where details space is entered) is the principle of the Hogwarts program.

    In the space of only a few days all the dramas play out, so one must assume that the rest is but a matter of course.

    Then thereís the letters they write, the ones they read in the great hall when the Owls deliver, and the documents read during the train rides.

    I get the intent, it just lacks depth.
    Cheers
    Tombie

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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tombie View Post
    Generally not, although I didnít miss the nuances of the text written. I wonder if the writer, when penning it, also considered that time compression (this is where details space is entered) is the principle of the Hogwarts program.

    In the space of only a few days all the dramas play out, so one must assume that the rest is but a matter of course.

    Then thereís the letters they write, the ones they read in the great hall when the Owls deliver, and the documents read during the train rides.

    I get the intent, it just lacks depth.
    You do know it's not real, don't you?
    Iím pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having meetings to discuss gathering food

    A bookshop is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking

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    Bwahhahahahaha......

  7. #7
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    " I went to Hogwarts and can't get a job"

    Quote Originally Posted by bob10 View Post
    You do know it's not real, don't you?
    Do you? My point is itís a hack letter, written poorly and lacks any real humour.

    I wrote ďin the hogwarts spaceĒ... and detailed why itís obviously just a compressed show.

    Heck, we could write the same for Bob10...

    He Cant write much of his own material, but has mastered the art of Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V " I went to Hogwarts and can't get a job"

    The little you do on here is only a broad portion of who and what you are, the letter is just a poor synopsis of a movie plot.
    Cheers
    Tombie

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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by bob10 View Post
    I am a recent Hogwarts graduate, and, although my time with you was a literal fantasy, I unfortunately did not learn a lot of basic skills, like math or spelling, at your skool.
    You may say, ďWhy do you need arithmetic? Youíre a wizard. You can do magic!Ē To which I reply, sure, for some wizard careers thatís great, but other wizards work in middle management and just want a normal nine-to-five gig. When I graduated, I thought that all I would need was my wand and a couple of choice incantations, but these days, without at least a little algebra, youíre not even qualified to work in Bertie Bottís retail department.


    I Went to Hogwarts for Seven Years and Did Not Learn Math or Spelling, and Now I Canít Get a Job | The New Yorker

    I sighed when I read this, at its inevitability..... nice satire!!! It reminded me of countless hours interviewing graduates for responsible positions years (decades!) ago ... At times I felt a sense of unease at the incidence of functional illiteracy and numeracy, let alone the inability of many to think logically.... The shambles and failings of current public policy and the inability of State and Federal departments to execute their responsibilities efficiently in many areas is testament to this. (end of rant!!)
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    "because she spent all of her time "braking" into an illegal library."

    Perhaps the author has a point after all.

    On the whole, I'm with Tombie. With all the HP material on offer, this is the best satire the author could come up with? Most year nine students could do better, if only they were allowed to think.
    ​JayTee

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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hoges View Post
    I sighed when I read this, at its inevitability..... nice satire!!! It reminded me of countless hours interviewing graduates for responsible positions years (decades!) ago ... At times I felt a sense of unease at the incidence of functional illiteracy and numeracy, let alone the inability of many to think logically.... The shambles and failings of current public policy and the inability of State and Federal departments to execute their responsibilities efficiently in many areas is testament to this. (end of rant!!)
    The longer I hang around as an IT architect the more I figure out that the ability to logically think through problems and consider the consequences of actions is a rare commodity. I describe my job as providing the grease between business needs and the reality of IT and it basically involves delicately explaining to people too stupid to understand the laws of physics the harsh realities that what they want to do isn't possible whilst explaining to techies that management aren't really that stupid and to bear with them.

    I suspect that many on here like me often cannot understand why our leaders don't follow what we would consider the logical course of action but those leaders are often driven by a lack of understanding of the mechanisms necessary to achieve their goals along with a whole range of real or imagined considerations that are unrelated to the problem at hand in our minds.

    Regards,
    Tote
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