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Thread: Jokes

  1. #5191
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Adelaide Hills
    Posts
    10,566
    Last month one of my mates was shot over 200 times with an upholstery gun.


    I'm happy to say he's now fully recovered.
    Quote Originally Posted by DazzaTD5 View Post
    Its a land Rover Defender... you need a real mechanic

  2. #5192
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Adelaide Hills
    Posts
    10,566
    Are people born with photographic memories,


    or do they take time to develop?
    Quote Originally Posted by DazzaTD5 View Post
    Its a land Rover Defender... you need a real mechanic

  3. #5193
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Adelaide Hills
    Posts
    10,566
    Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian.


    I thought it was the least I could do for him.
    Quote Originally Posted by DazzaTD5 View Post
    Its a land Rover Defender... you need a real mechanic

  4. #5194
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Sussex Inlet. N.S.W.
    Posts
    5,744
    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Because it was egged on!
    Jim VK2MAD
    -------------------------
    '17 Isuzu D-Max

  5. #5195
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    Mornington Vic
    Posts
    109
    Quote Originally Posted by Eevo View Post
    Are people born with photographic memories,


    or do they take time to develop?
    I've got a photographic memory, just no film.Jokes

  6. #5196
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Logan
    Posts
    19,465
    Which building has the most stories?
    The library.
    2009 Defender 110 2.4. ARB bulbar, Ironman winch, Safari snorkel, Steinbauer chip, AP HD clutch, Lightforce spots, larger tank, Off Road Systems drawer, Traxide 160 controller, Tekonsha brakes, Mulgo seat runners, Uniden UHF, Nuggetstuff seat corners, breathers, Polaris GPS.

  7. #5197
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    antipodean
    Posts
    3,885
    About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.
    .....and then there was one

    _______
    l ___[_]|\___
    l___|"__|___|
    "(o)=====(o)"

  8. #5198
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Adelaide Hills
    Posts
    10,566
    I went to the liquor store yesterday on my motorcycle, bought a bottle of whisky and put it in my backpack. As i was about to leave, i thought to myself that if i fell off the motorcycle, the bottle would break so i drank all the whisky before i rode home. Finally it turned out to be a good decision because i fell off my motorcycle 7 times on the way home. Imagine what would've happened to the bottle
    Quote Originally Posted by DazzaTD5 View Post
    Its a land Rover Defender... you need a real mechanic

  9. #5199
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Adelaide Hills
    Posts
    10,566
    My wife told me to put tomato sauce on the shopping list.


    Can't read a bloody word of it now.
    Quote Originally Posted by DazzaTD5 View Post
    Its a land Rover Defender... you need a real mechanic

  10. #5200
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Adelaide Hills
    Posts
    10,566
    My mother in law bought a talking parrot, but she took it back to the store a week later.


    "This parrot hasn't said a word", she complained.


    "I haven't had a ****ing chance yet", replied the parrot.
    Quote Originally Posted by DazzaTD5 View Post
    Its a land Rover Defender... you need a real mechanic

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