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Thread: Jokes

  1. #5381
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    antipodean
    Posts
    4,006
    "I really should have listened to the advice my old grandpa gave me."

    "Why - what advice did he give you?"

    "I don't know - I didn't listen."
    .....and then there was one

    _______
    l ___[_]|\___
    l___|"__|___|
    "(o)=====(o)"

  2. #5382
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    3,217
    A salty type swaggers into a bar.


    He has a ship’s wheel stuffed into the front of his trousers.


    The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a ship’s wheel in your trousers!”


    The ‘ol salt says, “Aye mate and it’s driving me nuts!”

  3. #5383
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    3,217
    A boat carrying red paint crashed into a boat carrying blue paint and the crew were marooned

  4. #5384
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    3,217
    What do you call a sleeping bull? A Bulldozer. What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime.

    Farmer Tom is so interested in conserving energy, he built a pig-powered car.
    He has to get rid of it, though. Every time he turns a corner, the tires squeal

  5. #5385
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Adelaide Hills. South Australia
    Posts
    3,580
    'ellooooo. Sounds like Diver has opened his Christmas Crackers a bit early.

  6. #5386
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    New Zealand, Russia
    Posts
    1,020
    At breakfast this morning, my wife said she's leaving me because of my obsession with Twitter.

    I nearly choked on my #Brown
    Le toubib m'a mis ex.

  7. #5387
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Blair Athol, Adelaide South Aust.
    Posts
    2,577
    Little known fact, before crow bars were invented, crows used to drink at home
    Cheers, Rod


    BETSY
    1967 Series 2a. 109 4 cyl petrol, Fairey o/drive, Athol Hedges roof.
    Currently undergoing rebuild.
    Will have-- soft top, 4 wheel disc brakes, salisbury rear diff, military colour, 12 pin nato socket, dual pintle hitch....

    1975 Series 3. 109 6cyl 186, 5 speed Nissan cabstar gearbox, mechanical winch, roo bar, kings awning, 50" light bar, roof rack, twin 6"light bars, kings awning tent.

    1969 NO. 5 trailer. ARN 176 464. soft top.

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