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Thread: Jokes

  1. #6261
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  2. #6262
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    Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Ricrose View Post
    Woof. Woof, woof, woof, woof.

  3. #6263
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    My ex played the trumpet, trombone and tuba. Man, was she horny.

  4. #6264
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eevo View Post
    My ex played the trumpet, trombone and tuba. Man, was she horny.
    You could have been Blown away then

  5. #6265
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    Quote Originally Posted by NavyDiver View Post
    You could have been Blown away then
    I reckon the French Horn would have been the ideal instrument or even the Licorice Stick, all require the Suck & Blow method.

  6. #6266
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4bee View Post
    I reckon the French Horn would have been the ideal instrument or even the Licorice Stick, all require the Suck & Blow method.
    You do know you have to stick your hand up a French Horn while blowing it?

  7. #6267
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    Quote Originally Posted by jonesfam View Post
    You do know you have to stick your hand up a French Horn while blowing it?


    I do Paul. The Virtuoso Barry Tuckwell didn't appear to have a problem but I never did see him with a Licorice Stick. If he did maybe he went off Stage & put a Tenon Saw through it.

    Bad luck he died in Jan this year


    Barry Tuckwell obituary | Classical music | The Guardian

  8. #6268
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    A US Navy cruiser anchors off Mississippi for a week's shore leave.

    The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner:

    "Dear Captain,
    Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance.
    They should arrive promptly at 8:00pm prepared for an evening of polite Southern conversation.
    They should be excellent dancers, as they will be the escorts of lovely refined young ladies.
    One last point: No Jews please."

    Sending a written message by his own yeoman, the captain replied: “Madam, thank you for your invitation. In order to present the widest possible knowledge base for polite conversation, I am sending four of my best and most prized officers.

    One is a lieutenant commander, and a graduate of Annapolis with an additional Master’s degree from MIT in fluid technologies and ship design.

    The second is a Lieutenant, one of our helicopter pilots, and a graduate of Northwestern University in Chicago, with a BS in Aeronautical Engineering. His Masters Degree and PhD are in Aeronautical and Mechanical Engineering from Texas Tech University, and he is also an astronaut candidate.

    The third officer is also a lieutenant, with degrees in both computer systems and information technology from SMU and he is awaiting notification on his Doctoral Dissertation from Cal Tech.

    Finally, the fourth officer, also a lieutenant commander, is our ship's doctor, with an undergraduate degree from the University of Georgia and his medical degree is from the University of North Carolina . We are very proud of him, as he is also a senior fellow in Trauma Surgery at Bethesda.”

    Upon receiving this letter, Melinda's mother was quite excited and looked forward to Thursday with pleasure.*Her daughter would be escorted by four handsome naval officers without peer (and the other women in her social circle would be insanely jealous).

    At precisely 8:00pm on Thursday, Melinda's mother heard a polite rap at the door which she opened to find, in full dress uniform, four handsome, smiling black officers.

    Her mouth fell open, but pulling herself together, she stammered, "There must be some mistake."

    "No, Madam," said the first officer. "Captain Goldberg never makes mistakes."

  9. #6269
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    Subtle!

    Cheers

  10. #6270
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    Jokes

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