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Thread: Jokes

  1. #7601
    350RRC's Avatar
    350RRC is offline TopicToaster Silver Subscriber
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    Quote Originally Posted by sashadidi View Post
    I gently convinced the relevant department that they weren't adhering to their stated goals, strategies and objectives which were essentially identical to those of the lobster industry I was exec for.

    Led to a golden era of co-operation and various changes beneficial to both parties and the wider community.

    DL

  2. #7602
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    For my friend on here ....Цирк Уехал клоуны остались

  3. #7603
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  4. #7604
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    Famous Last Words

    FAMOUS LAST WORDS
    “Are you sure the power is off?”
    “Don't be so superstitious.”
    “He's probably just hibernating.”
    “I can do that with my eyes closed.”
    “I can make this light before it changes.”
    “I wonder where the mother bear is?”
    “I'll get a world record for this.”
    “I'll hold it and you light the fuse.”
    “I'm making a citizen's arrest.”
    “It's fireproof.”
    “It's probably just a rash.”
    “It's strong enough for both of us.”
    “I've done this before.”
    “I've seen this done on TV.”
    “Just take whatever you want, this is a ghost town.”
    “Let it down slowly.”
    “Nice doggie.”
    “Now watch this...”
    “Pull the pin and count to what?”
    “Rat poison only kills rats.”
    “So, you're a cannibal...”
    “That's odd.”
    “The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!”
    “These are the good kind of mushrooms.”
    “This doesn't taste right.”
    “Well, we've made it this far.”
    “What does this button do?”
    “What, duck??”
    “Which wire was I supposed to cut?”
    “You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?”
    DeeJay
    1999 Defender Wagon
    1977 SWB Hardtop

  5. #7605
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    The pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a pay raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded, so would his pay.
    After six children, this rule had become very costly, so the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's ever increasing salary.
    A great deal of yelling and bickering ensued, as to how much the pastor's additional children were costing the church and how much more it could potentially cost. After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and stated. "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us."
    Silence fell over the congregation.
    In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand and eventually said in a frail voice. "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubber boots."
    The entire congregation said in unison..... "Amen.....
    For my friend on here ....Цирк Уехал клоуны остались

  6. #7606
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    For my friend on here ....Цирк Уехал клоуны остались

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