Thread: Jokes

Originally Posted by Toxic_Avenger

Most jokes about dead babies and the holocaust end with a full stop.
Yes, full stops should be outlawed!

Baby jokes depend on the delivery.

I cannot stand people who think they're worse off than everybody else. My mate Adam lost both his legs and voice in a bad accident, but do you see him doing a song and dance about it?

Originally Posted by 350RRC

Baby jokes depend on the delivery.

Like this: ???

A woman gives birth to a healthy boy.
Shortly after birth, the baby looks at the doctor and says "are you my dad?"
“No, I'm the doctor” he replies, shocked.
The baby then looks around to another man in the theatre and says "are you my dad?"
The man replies “no..... uh, I'm your uncle”.
The baby then turns his attention to the person closest to his mother: "are YOU my dad?"
The man, fighting off tears of joy says "yes! I AM your dad!".
The baby glares at the father, then proceeds to poke him on the head repeatedly "Well. How. Does. THAT. Feel?!"

He didn't complain about the ice-cream though did he? Little ingrate.

Alfred was a camel with two huge camel humps.

He fell in love and married a beautiful
female camel named Marie, who had one perfect camel hump
and beautiful lips.

As time progressed, they became the proud parents of a wonderful baby boy camel,
born with no humps.

They contemplated long and hard on what to call their beautiful little boy
They finally decided on...
Are you ready for this
'
'
'
'
'
'
Humpfree
Oh, please stop your whining. It's a nice little story
and a lot better than some of the other rubbish I send

Oh dear, we are back to the Dad jokes again.

I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.

Are you positive?