Thread: Jokes

I once met an elderly woman from the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney whose proud boast was she had never been west of Town Hall. Seemed to think westies were a lower spacies.

I'm a former Logan Bogan now. I have graduated to the Sunshine Coast. Not sure what the local equivalent is.
I have however noted an awful lot of pony tails on blokes my age up here. Seems to be a thing - retire, grow a pony and do a Big Lap.
I'm working on it. Had my annual pensioner haircut in September. Doing the Big Lap in stages rather than one big trip. Lookout Tassie - you're next!

Mick,
When you are in Hobart, be aware of the Flanalette Curtain...
A

Pleeeeese explaaaiiinn!

Curious Hobart: What's the origin of the 'Flannelette Curtain' and is it just a Hobart thing? - Curious Hobart - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

Hmmm,
Born and bred in Hobart, knew about Chiggers and Ravo etc but not the flannel curtain by name.
Cheers

Mario has been in WA for about 5 years. Came over on the BOAC with the family and got a job as a logger. He's done well, and after several letters home his mate Luigi comes out with his family.

Mario gets Luigi a job with the logging firm. Luigi gives him a lift to work on Monday, is handed his chainsaw and heads out into the forest with Mario. They are assigned their areas and off they go.

Monday afternoon, Mario and Luigi are packing up.
Luigi : "Hey Mario, how many trees you cutta downa today?"
Mario : "Gee Luigi, I cutta down 5 trees. Dey were biga ones ey."
Luigi : "Jesus Christ, I only cutta down 2 trees!"

They head off home for spaghetti and Marios home made Grappa (don't tell the ATO).

Tuesday they head off to work, pick up their chainsaws and head out into the forest.

Tuesday afternoon, Mario and Luigi are packing up.
Luigi : "Hey Mario, how many trees you cutta downa today?"
Mario : "Gee Luigi, I cutta down 6 trees. Last one was a littlie."
Luigi : "Jesus Christ, I only cutta down 3 trees!"

This repeats until the end of the week.

Luigi : "Hey Mario, how many trees you cutta downa today?"
Mario : "Luigi, I cutta down 4 trees. Lasta one was hooge."
Luigi : "Jesus Christ, I only cutta down 1 tree!"
Mario : "Hey Luigi, maybe therea something wronga with your saw, letta me takea look".

Luigi hands Mario his saw. Mario puts it on the ground, foot on the handle, choke on, pulls the rope and it roars into life.
Luigi shouting over the racket : "HEY MARIO, Watta dat noise?"

Originally Posted by DiscoMick

………………………….
I have however noted an awful lot of pony tails on blokes my age up here. Seems to be a thing - retire, grow a pony and do a Big Lap.
………......……….

The pony tail is a cheap facelift for old blokes if they really pull it tight, try it and you'll see.

Bwahahahaha