What enters your mind and how does your body feel when 'Stress' is mentioned?

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Originally Posted by Tins

Totally aware of that. I had a grief counsellor for 13 months, and have seen a psychologist for over 5 years now. I think that journey is near its end. I want to show my friend your post simply because it expresses what I tell her in different terms, and may give her different insights. She has a psychiatrist, but that role seems more interventionist than therapist in her case.

Once again I thank you for this thread.

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Hello Tins,

When I was 19 I developed Psoriasis.The specialist I saw told me that I had anxiety. To use the exact quote I was like a horse that I had broken down and that I should be put out to the long paddock. No other information was given to me about what anxiety actually entailed or where to go to find out more information. I was broken and could not be fixed so sod off enjoy the long grass! This was before the era of the internet outside of academia.

I have since had other health professionals tell me I was stressed and anxious - with no further insights about what the things are or where to find out more about it. I suppose my PhD makes some amends for what I encountered, so that other people can benefit from it.

Kind regards
Lionel

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Originally Posted by Lionelgee

Hello Tins,

When I was 19 I developed Psoriasis.The specialist I saw told me that I had anxiety. To use the exact quote I was like a horse that I had broken down and that I should be put out to the long paddock. No other information was given to me about what anxiety actually entailed or where to go to find out more information. I was broken and could not be fixed so sod off enjoy the long grass! This was before the era of the internet outside of academia.

I have since had other health professionals tell me I was stressed and anxious - with no further insights about what the things are or where to find out more about it. I suppose my PhD makes some amends for what I encountered, so that other people can benefit from it.

Kind regards
Lionel

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Just goes to show that "poor" advice can lead to good outcomes, Lionel. Perhaps the long grass was formative....

Lionel, I just saw your comment about autism. I'm told I am on the spectrum. Maybe that goes towards explaining how I am. I don't have great social skills although my wife says I am much better than when she married me 50+ years ago..

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Originally Posted by p38arover

I don't have great social skills although my wife says I am much better than when she married me 50+ years ago..

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Well Ron I have met you and I thought you had great social skills - I would be less worried about being on the spectrum and more worried about, like me, being a silly old fart [bigrolf]

Garry

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Originally Posted by p38arover

Lionel, I just saw your comment about autism. I'm told I am on the spectrum. Maybe that goes towards explaining how I am. I don't have great social skills although my wife says I am much better than when she married me 50+ years ago..

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Hello Ron,

I can write 'ditto' for most of the things you wrote. I reckon our wives have been communicating secretly without us knowing. Except Leeann, would say 37 years ago. How is that for a conspiracy theory!

I am also attempting to get out of my being years in the harness known as academic writing. I was also having a bit of a dig at myself in the first couple of sentences. The bit about being able to write lots of chapters about stress and anxiety - because I did exactly that for a certain tome.

One audience member lost in the first couple of sentences. What is that expression about pleasing some of the people all of the time?

Then last night when it was late a voice came out of the gloom.... "why are you playing a YouTube clip about Bambi at this hour?" At the time I was refreshing my memory about which member of Thumper's family told him "If you can't say something nice ..." Yep, it was his father and during the scene it was his mother reminding Thumper ... it was very complex plot to remember. Too much information ... I probably lost you a while ago - Ron! Teehee

Kind regards
Lionel

Lionel,

I can see where you are going with this. I work in a high stress job (construction project management, although now thankfully transitioning to retirement) and I do think the stress has taken a toll on me although I don't get anxious. I put this down to having a black/white personality and a narrow emotional range.

SWMBO on the other hand had a crap childhood and is a huge empath who can't help but take in others' "issues" (weirdly, so many people recognise this in her and (I think) take advantage with no thought to the cost to her). She has suffered from GAD from her 20s and only found decent help in her 50s. Still for her, it seems to me to be a life sentence. I think she's habituated to the stress/anxiety cycle.

My 26 yo son recently had to stop work due to anxiety and panic attacks. There's a whole nurture/nature discussion in our household about this for obvious reasons. What struck me about your post was the disguise bit. My son admitted to me a few months ago that he'd been "pretending" for years. Pretending to be happy, normal, fun-loving when in fact he was not. His psychologist thinks he is on the autism spectrum somewhere and in retrospect I agree (although I'm at a loss as to why I never saw this). He's a work in progress for us and don't start me on the difficulty one has getting on board with a psychiatrist (and I thought tradies were hard to find!).

Cheers,

Mark

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Originally Posted by Tins

Just goes to show that "poor" advice can lead to good outcomes, Lionel. Perhaps the long grass was formative....

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G'day Tins,

I suppose so, Tins. I did go on to study horticulture. Over two years of full-time study we only studied about turf for three weeks. When I began my career in parks and gardens I soon realised that with at least 80 percent of parklands having grass growing on it I needed to learn more. So I competed a certificate of turf an greenkeeping. Yep - I suppose I am being too literal again... teehee!

I also realise that two things that I either interpreted or experienced did lurk in the background and it took decades for them to have an outlet. I never met my maternal grandfather - he was a taboo subject. He was a Rat of Tobruk and then went onto the Kokoda Track at Imita Ridge. A web site described that the ridge was reached by the ‘golden stairs’ which consisted of some 2,000 timber steps cut into the mountain side by the engineers (accessed 15th of June 2023 from, Imita Ridge - Kokoda Track Memorial Walkway). Since my grandfather was in the 2/1 Pioneers Battalion he may have been one of the ones constructing the golden stairs. The same article goes on to state ... "During 17 September 1942 Brigadier Ken Eather’s 25th Brigade at Ioribaiwa withdrew to Imita Ridge and its 3rd, 2/25th, 2/31st, 2/33rd and 2/1st Pioneer Battalions were deployed to meet the final Japanese attack". My grandfather came back a very changed person to the one who had left for war. He self-medicated with alcohol and reading between the lines ticked all the boxes for PTSD.

Then one of my best mates all through high school was living away from home for an apprenticeship and he had an 'accident'. Well, that is what the newspapers reported. The accident happened while he was cleaning a rife. My mate did not make his 21st birthday. The paper also mentioned that his parents had to turn off my mate's life support. Yes, the 'clown' of our group did a botch job. I learnt about his death not long after I moved to Queensland. Years later one of my work colleagues who was also the 'clown' of the group committed suicide and no one saw it coming. So, these links to other people's PTSD - hidden depression, triggered by stress and anxiety - were lurking deep down and they took years to find an outlet.

Kind regards
Lionel

Imagine how difficult it’s going to be for the newest generations.

Everything is “safe” so when something is no longer “safe” they have no mechanisms for coping with those more negative feelings/thoughts/emotions.

Nothing wrong with a bit of stress, being anxious or feeling mad/sad/angry/offended. It’s about being able to recognise it, process it and manage it.

Something I see lacking in the younger ones today.

Total and utter melt downs at work when they don’t meet standards is intriguing yet common.

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Originally Posted by WhiteD3

Lionel,

I can see where you are going with this. I work in a high stress job (construction project management, although now thankfully transitioning to retirement) and I do think the stress has taken a toll on me although I don't get anxious. I put this down to having a black/white personality and a narrow emotional range.

SWMBO on the other hand had a crap childhood and is a huge empath who can't help but take in others' "issues" (weirdly, so many people recognise this in her and (I think) take advantage with no thought to the cost to her). She has suffered from GAD from her 20s and only found decent help in her 50s. Still for her, it seems to me to be a life sentence. I think she's habituated to the stress/anxiety cycle.

My 26 yo son recently had to stop work due to anxiety and panic attacks. There's a whole nurture/nature discussion in our household about this for obvious reasons. What struck me about your post was the disguise bit. My son admitted to me a few months ago that he'd been "pretending" for years. Pretending to be happy, normal, fun-loving when in fact he was not. His psychologist thinks he is on the autism spectrum somewhere and in retrospect I agree (although I'm at a loss as to why I never saw this). He's a work in progress for us and don't start me on the difficulty one has getting on board with a psychiatrist (and I thought tradies were hard to find!).

Cheers,

Mark

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G'day Mark,

Where to start? I have known a number of psychologists who did not even know that their own children were on the Autism Spectrum. So, if trained professionals cannot pick up a diagnosis in their own children it means that non-mental health professionals can struggle even more to pick it up.

Your wife and empathy. Some people can recognise other people's empathy and they home in on it. After they dump their problems on someone else they feel relieved and watch the other person stagger about. If any advice is given then it is promptly ignored then they go merrily on the way after dropping their burden on their audience. They then go off to find more em-paths.

It is also possible that people who are hard-wired to succeed during high pressure environments can become 'stress junkies'. They need high levels of stress in order to function. When the stress drops off they become lost. Oh - yes how do I know this? Been there done that and I have the T-shirt. I am not saying that this is a description for you Mark.

Oh well off for some shared TV viewing with my wife. Murdoch Mysteries

Kind regards
Lionel

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Originally Posted by Tombie

Imagine how difficult it’s going to be for the newest generations.

Everything is “safe” so when something is no longer “safe” they have no mechanisms for coping with those more negative feelings/thoughts/emotions.

Nothing wrong with a bit of stress, being anxious or feeling mad/sad/angry/offended. It’s about being able to recognise it, process it and manage it.

Something I see lacking in the younger ones today.

Total and utter melt downs at work when they don’t meet standards is intriguing yet common.

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Interesting take on this in this vid. Not saying I agree with it all but....

https://youtu.be/QXWNChoIluo