Thread: Hell!

The guy's a genius! Give him a PhD now!

I wonder if that approach would work for my uni assignments,
given that the female marking lecturers bat for the other team?

GQ

Originally Posted by incisor

Subject: Hell Explained by Chemistry Student


The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to
know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in
the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion,
you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go
to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that,
'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account
the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and
thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that
it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct, leaving only
Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God!'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Dont you wish you where there

Originally Posted by Loaded

Dont you wish you where there

i was, last night :P

Originally Posted by Numpty's Missus

That Teresa's a popular girl Does the missus know?

she was there too

Lordy me.................... Dont get me started on the Zen of the Forest and why we as humans must endure the time old tradition of "White man fires"

ROFLMAO, love it

very good, thanks for posting that.

Bloody brilliant!