Thread: AC Fare, report to the cells...

Dontcha just hate days like these? picture if you can (this is a yarn and a half youre warned)

you get to work to find that the unit slacker has hijacked the all day so simple a monkey could do it job you were ment to be doing (so spent the whole night typing up tool threads and geeking cause you knew you didnt really need to be awake today) and dumped you with the mess he made yesterday snapping bolts of and twisting the casing on a transmission...

Your under the vehicle got your hand up holding a piece thats taken you 20 mintes to put in place and you drop the spanner you need to bolt it up. Swearing ensues... naturally the spanner is just out of reach and theres no-one to grab it back for you, more swearing, drop the part try to catch it with your right ear fail have it spring apart into a dozen pieces.... ohhhh cant i turn the air blue....

get it back together put it up just starting to get it on its threads when some idiots steps on your foot which is protruding past the edge of the vehicle your laying under. Swear as you drop the part from the shock and pain, Continue swearing bloody murder as you watch the part spring apart for the 3rd time that morning. The air is no longer blue in the sense of the word that blue is a definition of colour its soo blue its like each individual molecule of air has passed a blue tinge onto every other thing in the shop and has decided that it wants to make its purpose in life making other things blue.

Im talking the kind of blue that a black hole, if it was ever treated to a blue obsesed interior designers make over, would come out after being rendered into a styalised blue, black hole.

now that IVe remebered that o2 is the stuff of life and that at some point I'll have to inhale Ill see who the idiot was that stepped on me....


ohhhh hello sir.... ummm yeah.....

so heres me thinking my world is about to cave in and DFCE Go is all im going to hear from the heighrachy cause well calling the CO 4 letter worded names isnt really smart.

I get the page....


AC Fare Report to the cells...... (Great)


now for those who dont know Amberly has its own Military jail type setup for people who do silly things like call the CO nasty names that youd normally point at toyota drivers who bag landies in one breath then ask if you can snatch them out with your own gear.

So, feeling like the whole world is out to get me off i toddles to the cells....

Theres stands the WSM wants to have a word with me, apparently ive been under a bit of stress lately (house, kid, dealing with the workshop slacker, documentation going walkabouts only to turn up on the wrong persons desk etc etc) and the CO is sorry he wasnt watching where he was walking while he was on a tour of the workshop given by my troopie, The MP's have a problem that if its not too inconvenient theyd like me to help out with.

So im smelling a setup. but i go of to see SGT so and so with the WSM...

Now theres and Adjie in the cell block whose supposed to be washing a landrover why? hes been a bad Adjie, he told his CO to go truck himself he dirtied the car he can wash it.. The MPs arent happy with the job hes done on the car but they dont have anyone liscenced to drive it. Since I was the only one in the workshop with a liscence for a 110 my name was dropped as being someone who might be willing to help "give the landrover a used appearance" so that said Adjie could practice washing it till he gets it right.

Follow the David Shaped blur to the landrover.... Follow the camo landrover shaped blur out to the training area and the technical drivers tracks. observe the steaming, brown whys the driver got his head out the window boxish shaped wheeled thing thats struggling to get back up the road.

Observe a grin that makes the cheshire cat look tight lipped get out of the mobile mud on wheels followed closely by the rest of me...

Icouldnt believe it when i saw it from the outside, they couldnt believe it I was only ment to get a little bit of mud on it... oh we gotta show the Adjie....

IF i combined every bad moment that ever happened in my life into 5 seconds I still dont think I could top the look I got. I didnt think a person could look so dejectedly depressed. I was wrong... very very wrong....


I over heard the conversation most of it went the way I expected... till the last bit...

"hes staying to drink coffee, If the vehicle isnt up to standard in 2 hours hes going out again and he'll be ordered to bring it back properly dirtied" the sarge walked over and on the way past called out "Nato standard, Strong, White and 2 right?"

at the point that the word "nato" drifted across the compound I got to see what a truely shattered person looks like.......

(yes I still look like the cheshire cat typing this)

by the look of it Id have said i got that much on the roof rack and windshield....... The wipers got bogged about 20 mins into the trip...