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Thread: It's been a real @#$%8 of a week for me

  1. #21
    RichardK is offline ChatterBox Silver Subscriber
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    That is terribly sad, my thoughts go to all concerned.

    There has been some good advice given, I am not in a position to be able to give any further advice.

    I remember well during my first 6 or 7 years of school life I was the target of bullying and it was a very harrowing time, my mother would tell me "you have to stand up to them" and that was the extent of her advice. What she didn't care to investigate was that I didn't have the werewithall to be able to do that so I eventually didn't say anything at all.
    That ultimately left me with a low self esteem to the point in my first marriage I went through some very difficult times and was suicidal. Since then during the last 17 years, I have learnt a lot about myself and were I came from and with my new life things couldn't be better.

    My new life includes being able to talk about any problems without judgement.

    The point of this is that I went through what I went through, keeping it well and truly within myself, nobody knew that what they saw on the outside was a total opposite of the inside.

    Suicidal people can be very good actors.
    RichardK

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  2. #22
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    This is so tragic. My condolences to the family and friends. Some very good advice from members here. One year ago, my nephew (19) died in what seemed to of been either death by misadventure, or suicide. He was under a lot of financial stress, and didnt seem to be able to talk to family about it. As my brother in law said about hes sons death, he has left a huge hole in our hearts that will never be filled. Anyone who has suffered a loss of a loved one will know this.

    My prayes go out to them.

    Regards,

    Carlos

  3. #23
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    Rovernaut,
    There has been a lot of tremendous advice given here & it just adds another dimension to this group. If you cant air this sort of thing on a general chat, then all is lost. Of course I add my condolences, I read this thread last night and have been doing a lot of thinking.
    Its almost as though we, as parents, need to attend lessons in the art of managing teenagers in the new millennium. I have an 11 and 6 year old to get through this. Its just not fair how the Baddies can thrive.
    I dont want to shift any focus here but, as an example, my 22 year old autistic son attends a sheltered workshop, and he has been harassed by another intellectually disabled lad who , by nauseous behaviour for months, simply got Will to the end of endurance, this lad was even getting in between him and his mum every time she visited. In the end Will gave him a tap on the nose, (if he wanted to he could have easily broken every bone). The result ? Will got sacked.

    He was a real favourite there, clearly you can be a PIA forever but get physical thats it..It is all so wrong..

  4. #24
    Rovernaut Guest
    Thanks guys.

  5. #25
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    Why do kids today just Checkout, is it because mum and dad are so busy working to pay off the ridiculously large mortgage and new car loans that their not around enough to see whats going on.. Makes me angry...
    Bet ya if we Phuked off TV, video /pc games and political correctness, families would spend more time together in the evenings and closeness would develop, we are becoming so isolated from each other that it is definately affecting family relationships..
    I spent most of my childhood with my dad in his shed tinkering on cars or out 4wding , hunting fishing etc..I was having way too much fun to consider checking out...in fact my parents used to yell for me to come inside let alone watch TV.... The world is a sad place and only getting sadder IMO
    I am Sorry for your loss and the suffering of the boyz parents from now till only their death will ease their pain.
    Last edited by DirtyDawg; 1st July 2007 at 05:56 PM.

  6. #26
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    What he said ^ ^.

    It also bothers me that kids are running up massive mobile phone bills without seemingly giving a toss. Is this part of the aforementioned financial troubles one wonders?

  7. #27
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    Firstly, thats terrible news mate, as the others have said sympathies to the family and friends.

    But it really gets my blood boiling when a 13yr old boy is bullied so badly at school they even consider suicide, its alot more common in older school kids like HSC students, but for a 13yr old? As a teacher i see the effects of bullying everyday, and all you can do is help and support the person(s) being bullied, and deal with the bully(s), but until the bullies know how it feels, i.e makes someone want to go into a school with a gun and shoot people or simply kill themselves it wont stop.

    Whilst you can prove for sure this is what made him do it, the kids who were involved with the bullying need to be made away, even if it is a primary school. Bullies are cowardly people and the sooner that are stopped the better, they wont change they will be like that forever, or until such a time that they are forced to see how it feels. I think lieing to the kids was a bad idea, at least tell the older kids, and the kids in his year.

    Sorry if that seemed insenitive, i feel for the family, but bullying is alot more serious than people think, especially the parents of the bullies. Matt
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  8. #28
    Rovernaut Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Ace View Post
    Firstly, thats terrible news mate, as the others have said sympathies to the family and friends.

    But it really gets my blood boiling when a 13yr old boy is bullied so badly at school they even consider suicide, its alot more common in older school kids like HSC students, but for a 13yr old?

    Sorry if that seemed insenitive, i feel for the family, but bullying is alot more serious than people think, especially the parents of the bullies. Matt
    Matt we can't say 100% sure that bullying was the cause in this case. But it is also common in the junior grades.
    My eldest son had a terrible time in primary school. He was constantly bullied. He he was quiet, preferred to be an intellect, than play sport and that stuff. For that he was an easy target.
    I can't recall the times that we phoned the school, went over there. The end result was, "well keep out of the bullies way"
    It seems the victim is the one that is blamed, the issue is never really addressed.
    Then he started High school this year, We placed him in another school in another suburb so he would not be at the school his tormenters would be going to.But within the first 3 days of school he was bullied on a school camp. I approached the bully myself after , that scared him off for a few weeks then it started again. Then I noticed that my son was acting a little strange, I coaxed the info out of him that he was subjected again to harassment. I asked why he didn't report it to the teachers and the reply was, They never do anything.( this was his thoughts because of his other school experience)
    I can tell you his new school doesn't tolerate bullying and when I informed them they put a stop to it straightaway. I even got phone calls reporting back straight away that they were addressing the problem and gave us regular updates on what was occurring. So in this case I was impressed with this schools attitude. The unfortunate thing is a lot of kids give up and fail to pursue bullying as they probably had previous experiences where nothing was done. 'The boy that cried wolf syndrome' so they put up with and try to deal with it inside their heads.
    My boys and I have an open relationship, we don't hide things, but it was a job to coax why he was miserable, because nothing was done in his earlier school years. So he had the perception that nothing could be done. Unfortunately for some poor kids they think there is no solution.
    And I agree it's becoming a more aggressive fast paced society out there, every one for themselves and no values anymore.
    Mars

  9. #29
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    Our condolensences to all concerned, I also have read this thread several times before posting, it is very upseting to read.

    I know the name sounds a bit quirky but give "Life after Suicide" a call, they are a support group for families and friends of suicide victims.

    Once again our thoughts are with you...

  10. #30
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    My condolences to all concerned.
    Tragic indeed. I have nothing to offer which has not already been offered.

    Roger

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