Inapropriate movie line quotes

In any situation when one of your mates looks like he's doing alright with the Ladies:
Dad, he's going to pork her

To confuse an annoying desk hoverer:
Go home, Your Igloo is on fire

Regards,
Tote

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

INIGO

I admit it -- you are better than I am.

MAN IN BLACK

Then why are you smiling?

Inches from defeat, Inigo is, in fact, all smiles.
INIGO

Because I know something you don't know.

MAN IN BLACK

And what is that?

INIGO

I am not left-handed.

And he throws the sword into his right hand and immediately, the tide of battle turns.

MAN IN BLACK

You're amazing!

INIGO

I ought to be after twenty years.

And now the Man In Black is smashed into a stone pillar, pinned there under the six fingered sword.
MAN IN BLACK(hollering it out)

There's something I ought to tell you.

INIGO

Tell me.

MAN IN BLACK

I am not left-handed either.

And now he changes hands, and at last, the battle is fully joined.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gug

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

INIGO

I admit it -- you are better than I am.

MAN IN BLACK

Then why are you smiling?

Inches from defeat, Inigo is, in fact, all smiles.
INIGO

Because I know something you don't know.

MAN IN BLACK

And what is that?

INIGO

I am not left-handed.

And he throws the sword into his right hand and immediately, the tide of battle turns.

MAN IN BLACK

You're amazing!

INIGO

I ought to be after twenty years.

And now the Man In Black is smashed into a stone pillar, pinned there under the six fingered sword.
MAN IN BLACK(hollering it out)

There's something I ought to tell you.

INIGO

Tell me.

MAN IN BLACK

I am not left-handed either.

And now he changes hands, and at last, the battle is fully joined.

---

The princess Bride?

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels has plenty of quotable lines:

Nick the Greek: What else does it come with?
Tom: It comes with a gold-plated Rolls Royce, as long as you pay for it.


Hatchet Harry: I don't want to know who you use, as long as they're not complete muppets.


Gary: Shotguns? What, like guns that fire shot?
Barry the Baptist: Oh, you must be the brains of the operation. Yes, guns that fire shot.

Gary: So who's the gov'? Who we doing this for?
Barry the Baptist: You're doing it for me, that's all you need to know. You know because you need to know.
Gary: I see. One of them "on a need to know basis" things is it. Like one of them James Bond films.


Rory Breaker: If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya.


And Snatch followed in fine form:

Avi: Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary f*cking Poppins... LONDON.


Brick Top: Do you know what 'nemesis' means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by a 'orrible c*nt... me.

all from one or other incarnations of the same movie/tv series

drinking one is the equivelent of having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.

Here I am, brain the size of a planet and....

you think youve got problems? what are you supposed to do if you are a depressive robot?

Hey guys Its marvin He just phoned up to wash his head at us.

"what do you mean theres no escape pods did you count them?" "Yep Twice"

and some other faves

"You know what I'd like to do?"

-" Yeah I know what you'd like to do. Find the guy that did it, rip his still-beating heart out, and hold it in his face so he can see how black it is before he dies."

"actually I was thinking about filing a grievance with the union."

-"well the world's a twisted place."

and

And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun...
And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" Written down the side of mine...
Should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... F#ck off!

"When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!"

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels:

"Oh, Lawrence! This is the happiest day of my life! I think my testicles are dropping!"

"Freddy, as a younger man, I was a sculptor, a painter, and a musician. There was just one problem: I wasn't very good. As a matter of fact, I was dreadful. I finally came to the frustrating conclusion that I had taste and style, but not talent. I knew my limitations. We all have our limitations, Freddy. Fortunately, I discovered that taste and style were commodities that people desired. Freddy, what I am saying is: know your limitations. You are a moron."

"I have a Turkey in the oven that is that undercooked, a skilled veternarian could bring it back to life."

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy, now pi$$ off:D

Baz.

Mayor: Now Drebin, I don't want any trouble like you had on the South Side like last year, that's my policy.
Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards, that's my policy.
Mayor: That was a Shakespeare In The Park Production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!


Frank: Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he's behind bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eat


Frank: A good cop - needlessly cut down by some cowardly hoodlums.
Ed: No way for a man to die.
Frank: No... you're right, Ed. A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go.
Wilma Nordberg: [cries] Oh... Frank. This is terrible.
Ed: Don't you worry Wilma. Your husband is going to be alright. Don't you worry about anything. Just think positive. Never let a doubt enter your mind.
Frank: He's right, Wilma. But I wouldn't wait until the last minute to fill out those organ donor cards.
[Wilma cries again]
Ed: What I'm trying to say is that Wilma, as soon as Nordburg is better, he's welcome back at Police Squad.
Frank: Unless he's a drooling vegetable. But I think that's only common sense...
[Wilma cries again]

Frank: Nordburg...it's me, Frank. Now who did this to you??Nordburg: I...Love You?Frank: I love you too, Nordburg. Who were they??Nordburg: Ship...boat?Frank: That's right, Nordburg, a boat. Now, when you're better we'll go sailing together, on a boat. We'll take a cruise just like last year.?Nordburg: drugs...?Frank: Hey Nurse. Give this man some drugs, quick...can't you see he's in pain? Give him a shot, quickly.?Nordburg: no...heroin...heroin, Frank...?Frank: Nordburg...that's a pretty tall order. You're gonna have to give me a couple a days on that one.