The Runt's Public Service

**Bigbjorn** · 21st September 2007, 10:20 AM

This was sent to me about 5months ago by an old friend who was, at that time, still labouring in the halls of Canberra, but had had enough and took early retirement in July. He says this is in wide circulation in the APS down there, and many cynical and disgruntled people think it closer to the truth than to humour.

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE WORKED I JOHN HOWARD'S PUBLIC SERVICE WHEN......

You have done the same job at the same desk in the same building for ten years and the department has had four different names

the sign on the front is attached by Velcro

your CV is on a CD in your briefcase

you get excited about a 1.7% pay rise

you learn about your redundancy on the ABC news

your greatest inconvenience from the regular system crashes is losing your best jokes

your supervisor does not have the ability to do your job

contractors, temps, and "higher duties" staff outnumber permanent substantive staff and are more likely to achieve long service leave

you see a good looking smart person and know it is a visitor

interviewees, without knowledge or experience of the job, terminate the interview when told the starting salary

you go to and from work in the dark, even in summer

you know exactly how many days you have left until retirement

you are so fed up with the job, you would love to get a redundancy package, but packages seem restricted to management's pets relatives and concubines, notorious brown nosers, and person's who are so incompetent even your management noticed

the due date on the assignment you just got is yesterday

there are almost no white male breadwinners left in your workplace. The staff now seeming to compose "quota minorities" and middle aged married women working for luxuries like second and third investment properties, beach houses, private schools, overseas trips, and expensive motor cars

you apply for a vacancy with promotion and find the selection committees are always composed of a third world immigrant, a lesbian, a handicapped person, and a rabid feminist social worker, none of whom know anything about the job in question

work experience, "work for the dole', and youth trainees get brand new state of the art laptops whilst operational staff have time for a crossword waiting for their aeons old terminals to boot up

there is no money in the budget for the operational staff needed to meet service requirements and legislative responsibilities, but a seemingly unlimited amount for outside consultants to advise senior management on "strategy" and "policy"

your supervisors were promoted because of their incompetence to limit the damage they were doing when they were operational staff

every week another envelope comes around for someone who is leaving and you didn't even know they had started

you start to wonder who will be left when your envelope goes around

holidays are something you roll over for another year

competent, efficient, knowledgeable, and highly experienced staff are denied promotion year after year, while early twenties newbys with irrelevant degrees in useless studies ( Bachelor of Unemployment?) from second and third rate universities are "fast tracked" because they have "tertiary qualifications"

there is not one person at management level in your department who is capable of getting or keeping a job at similar level in the private sector

**barryj** · 21st September 2007, 10:56 AM

This is spot on, and not only for federal positions.

If it looks like TAFE, smells like TAFE, it must be TAFE!

After 16 and a half years I know a bit about how the system works, and by the way, I never aspired to be anything higher than what I was employed as, a Teacher.

I saw many people being pushed to the top of the ladder only to find that those pushing left them high and dry. Then the ladder became wobbly and eventually someone took the ladder away without warning.

**George130** · 21st September 2007, 11:45 AM

Yea sound's familiar.
We play spot the desk in use

.
I could get so much more done if they stopped doing audits and investigations into why we are behind schedule. Every time they do one we go into sustainment for a couple of months waiting for the outcome. This puts us further behind so then they call in experts to examine why we are behind again so we are forced to stop again

.

**incisor** · 21st September 2007, 12:01 PM

one has to justify ones existence :P

**ATH** · 21st September 2007, 01:43 PM

I work in the WA public so called service and that rings just so true.
Brown nosers, back stabbers and bullcrappers are everywhere.
Management are only interested in themselves and their next trip to some fancy destination for a conference on some crap thing with a fancy name which will have no relevance to what we do.
An MD whose mobile bill regularly goes well over 7 and 800 bucks for a month!
Who never ever pays even for a cup of coffee without claiming it back as networking "with industry leaders"!!!!!!
Minor management who never have and couldn't get a job in the private sector.

Staff who can't and won't fill out basic forms properly and rely on others further down the line to do their job for them.
It's a garbage job and the only reason I'm here is I'm too old for anything else and it's close to home.
Can't wait for the weekend and we can get out in the Defender.
Thank gawd it's Friday.
Alan H.

**Lotz-A-Landies** · 21st September 2007, 02:18 PM

It's everywhere when you get promoted out of a job you love, in which you have both certificates and tertiary qualifications to do, all because your manager who doesn't have the qualifications for your or her own job is sick and tired of being shown to be incompetent by you.

What you end up with is 2 people doing jobs they either don't like or aren't qualified to do and you are back filled by other incompetents who won't show up the manager for being incompetent!

Who said that the Peter Principle was dead???*

Diana

* Peter Principle = people are promoted to their level of highest incompetence.

**p38arover** · 21st September 2007, 08:11 PM

Interviews for promotions in my field are dominated by the questions relating to EEO, OH&S, and EAPS (Ethnic Affairs Priority Statement).

The questions relating to the safe running of trains are of lesser value.

If one wants promotion, you have to know the three items above, particularly EAPS. You cannot say it's all crap!

At one interview a colleague was asked about working with intellectually impaired people in our workplace. He said (a) we don't have them so the issue doesn't arise and (b) we work in a single-person workplace. He lost points because of that and didn't get the job.

Can you imagine having an intellectually impaired person controlling the safe running of trains. Flamin' heck!

An electrician at the hospital where my wife works told her he was not asked about his electrical knowledge or experience when he went for the job. They focussed on those 3 things.

Ahh, the NSW (Labor) Govt. - so the political party makes no difference.

Fortunately for me, I've been promoted as far as I want to go so I don't apply for jobs.

Ron

**Relay** · 21st September 2007, 08:16 PM

Originally Posted by barryj

This is spot on, and not only for federal positions.

If it looks like TAFE, smells like TAFE, it must be TAFE!

After 16 and a half years I know a bit about how the system works, and by the way, I never aspired to be anything higher than what I was employed as, a Teacher.

I saw many people being pushed to the top of the ladder only to find that those pushing left them high and dry. Then the ladder became wobbly and eventually someone took the ladder away without warning.

Tell me about it. I spend more of my Tafe time as a 'student' listening to my 'teachers' complain! Gets me out of 'work' though!

**Blknight.aus** · 21st September 2007, 09:49 PM

I miss the old school employment test, like the one I took to get into my first shot as a diesel mechanic apprentice (which I didnt complete due to the company that was sponsering me being folded)

Kid see that wreck over there? If you can drive that round to the front yard under its own power by friday's BBQ youve got yourself an apprentiship. If you need it the battery charger, compressor and over there, speak to that bloke for an old tool box.

**HangOver** · 21st September 2007, 11:44 PM

your supervisor does not have the ability to do your job

contractors, temps, and "higher duties" staff outnumber permanent substantive staff and are more likely to achieve long service leave

SO true it's scary !!!!!!

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