Thread: Love is a Land Rover

Don't know if this is the right place for this, but I was rummaging through some old stuff looking for some papers & came across this poem I wrote many, many, years ago. Some of you may find it amusing, some may be able to relate to it. My apologies, it's a bit long.

LOVE IS A LAND ROVER

It was love at first sight, when you saw from afar,
This most beautiful creation, a most wonderous car.
You just had to have it, no way to resist,
Your friends when they saw it, thought you were ****ed.

So started the journey, of heartache and pain,
This thing called a Landy, which would drive you insane.
Relationship of torment, like nothing you’d known,
It was too late to stop, the seed already sown.

Friends couldn’t understand, people couldn’t see,
How anything so daunting, could be a part of me.
Their heads they would shake, in disgust and dismay,
Their mouths hanging open, could find nothing to say.

Come Rego no sleeping, it was too much to bare,
Would the garage just laugh, and turn in despair?
Should you check it once more, or is everything alright?
Only hope that the garage would sympathise with your plight.

Perhaps they’d understand, what it’s like to go through,
Many litres of oil, also many a shoe.
For the swivels leaking, something wrong with the door,
The UJ’s are clunking, there’s bolts loose in the floor.

Endless nights with spanners, blood, sweat and tears,
Now facing your nightmares, and conquering your fears.
The engine she sounds bad, and the gearbox’s just blown,
So it’s back to square one, with a sign and a moan.

As there’s always something, needs a bit of a mend,
There’s holes in the floor, a track rod with a bend.
The steering’s gone wonky, bearings about to seize,
It’s running too hot, give the hoses a squeeze!

You wonder what to do, try to make it better,
Maybe tat with the valves, what about an injector?
For God's sake don’t do it, just leave it alone,
But you find you can’t stop, like a dog with a bone.

You’ve been tossing and turning, not a sign of a zed,
What colour to paint it, maybe black, green or red.
Why did it cough so badly, when it went up the hill?
Oh no please don’t tell me, there’s more holes in the sills.

Yelling, jumping, you let out a scream,
Thank goodness you say, it was only a dream.
You were climbing a hill, now your Landy’s in bits,
It’s battered and bleeding, and looks like the pits.

By the end of the day, more like nearer the night,
Finally Landy passed, no more need for a fight.
Poor chap at the garage, didn’t know what to say,
So he wrote you the slip, and sent you away.

It costs you a fortune, but you don’t seem to care,
Drinks like an Alky, but somehow you fare.
Should you put in a diesel, or maybe extractor?
When it gives you the hump, you’d swap for a tractor!

Get rid of it, sell it, they all start to shout,
But you stand defiant, and innocently pout.
How could you part with it, with something so pure,
They desperately try, but just can’t find a cure.

So you drive round with pride, and a stupid little grin,
You don’t mind the rattles, or the infernal din.
And the looks people give, when you clunk down the street,
All driving their Jappers, so lovely and neat.

Blokes think you’re dool-alley, think your brains all a-rot,
For wanting to drive it, this mangled old pot.
Why not a Range Rover, you hear them all exclaim,
Why on earth don’t you go for something more tame?

But your Landy it’s part of your heart and your soul,
And you ponder this thought, dreading the next roll.
You know it’ll be there, always needing your love,
It’s a part of your body, like a tight fitting glove.

Always in the driveway, when others take a walk,
You tell it your secrets, cause it’s good for a talk.
It’ll take you across different lands, far and wide,
And you’ll love it forever, even when it has died.


(See what poor Tony has to put up with!!)

Originally Posted by George130

Nice Landy and spot on with the poetry.

Your making me want to escape for the weekend.

Is there any better kinds of ends?